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Renoir

May 22nd, 2013

***

It sucked!It'll be on cable.I liked it.It was good!It was awesome!! (Give us your rating!!)
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Renoir

Swift shot: Renoir has never fascinated me.  Impressionism as a rule is not my personal go-to when I enjoy art.  This was a challenge for me to let go of my apathy and immerse myself into a foreign film about an artistic style I don’t favor. For these types of films I only ask one thing, keep me interested, and Renoir did manage to do that.  But, the Renoir I was most interested in, was not Le Patron . . . rather his son, the solider.  Go figure.

Whenever delving into a biopic, I want to learn something new.  I want to make sure I leave after seeing the film a little wiser or more cultured.  For that reason, I give Renoir credit.  But, I learned very little about Pierre-Auguste Renoir (Michel Bouquet), and with the nuanced story-telling, I learned very little about Jean Renoir (Vincent Rottiers), or even Andree Heuschling (Christa Theret) for that matter.  But, what I did learn from watching Renoir is why his art was devoid of negativity and that his colors were meant to blend into an almost wispy blur of incoherence.  “The colors have to fuck,” as he puts it in the film.  And he makes a solid point that the world has enough black in it, as in darkness, so he wanted to leave the world with something beautiful.  I guess even non-enthusiastic fans would be hard pressed to say his art isn’t classically “beautiful” compared to the horrors of the world.

Alas, unlike what I was hoping, this is not the life story of Renoir, nor is it really the life story of anyone, it is a brief chapter of a family surrounded by death, living in a fantasia of color and purity . . . but there wasn’t enough.  It felt like the whole thing was rushed, which, after you see it’s plodding pace you may find yourself scratching your head on that statement.  But, what I mean is what was missing from Renoir was all the lines.  In his own words, Renoir explains it brilliantly, “It’s not about lines, it’s about the colors.”  Indeed, the colors and the chapters blend together to wash away characters that I might have wanted to know more about, if there were any real lines.

Renoir, directed by  Gilles Bourdos is about the famous artist’s last years, living and still painting in the French Riviera.   Set in 1915, Renoir uses the entrance of ingenue Andree as a new model to the Patron.

RENOIR will be opening FRIDAY at the Miami Dade College Tower Theater and the Living Room Cinema (Boca Raton)

Renoir is what you would expect of a French film about an artist surrounded by young, beautiful, naked women . . . it is about passion and love and sacrifice, but you will need to endure a lot of creative artistic cinematography to enjoy the film.  Some of the characters were ennuyeux, just a nuisance to the story really, and others should have been developed with more life.

Still, Renoir deserves special praise for balancing, albeit not flawlessly, an artist’s pain and fear as he tries to capture the last bright sunrises life has to offer before his canvass is torn.  And, if nothing else, watching it definitely earned me some cultural cool points.  There is nudity aplenty in this film, so be warned if that sort of thing offends you.  But, maybe you could lighten up a bit!  Impressionist students will get that joke!

Stolen

May 21st, 2013

**½

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Fun-ish, but forgettable.

Stolen

The H-Bomb: Master thief Will Montgomery (Nicolas Cage) is pulling a late night heist in New Orleans with his crew, including hothead Vincent (Josh Lucas) and the sultry Riley (Malin Akerman). It’s a ten million dollar job, the big …

Star Trek Into Darkness

May 16th, 2013

******

It sucked!It'll be on cable.I liked it.It was good!It was awesome!! (2 People gave this 3.00 out of 5)
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“Boldly go!”

STID
Click the image above for behind the scenes pics!

 

Swift shot:  The next chapter of the J.J. Abrams helmed Star Trek franchise doesn’t fail to deliver on the action, sexiness, or gut-wrenching drama you have come to expect from …

What is YOUR Mission?

May 14th, 2013

JJ Abrams and Paramount are helping returning veterans continue their mission . . . to serve.  Abrams is dedicating Star Trek: Into Darkness to the post 9/11 veterans and is even using some of the Fellows from “The Mission Continues” organization in the film!  I just recently heard about this group, but they have been offering returning veterans a chance to continue to serve their country for a few years.Mission Continues Fellows

To many veterans, when we are thanked for our service, we tend to think, “I appreciate the thanks, but I wonder, what have I done TODAY to earn that thanks?”  With The Mission Continues, veterans can continue to serve.

Take a look at what they are all about below, and you will see why Abrams wanted to do something special for this group of valiant warriors who didn’t stop their service when they left “the service.”

And remember, you don’t have to be IN the service to BE a service to your community.  Get out there and find YOUR “Mission!”

The Mission Continues challenges veterans to serve and lead in communities across America.

The Great Gatsby

May 10th, 2013

GREATGATSBY
Click the image above for MANY more vibrant shots of this instant classic film.
Check out both reviews!
Madison Monroe (She Said) gave it four stars and Alyn Darnay (He Said) gave it …

Happy Mother’s Day from WB

May 6th, 2013

WIN A FREE BLU-RAY FOR YOUR MOM!

So, yea, your mom called . . . she wants a movie night for Mother’s Day!  No, seriously, she loves Kris Kristofferson.  She doesn’t care that you think he’s Whistler from Blade – to her, Kris is the bee’s knees as John Norman Howard …

Iron Man 3

May 2nd, 2013

***½

It sucked!It'll be on cable.I liked it.It was good!It was awesome!! (1 People gave this 4.00 out of 5)
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Introducing . . . The Mandarin?

Iron Man 3
Click here for more images from the film!

Swift shot:  Tony Stark (RDJ) is back from New York, and he is tired of hearing, “Will the aliens come back?”  “Where are the Avengers?”  and so on.  It becomes too much for Tony, actually, as he suffers throughout the film from anxiety attacks . . . a flaw which manages to keep the Downey portrayal of Stark authentic and interesting.  He’s a flawed super-hero/super-genius.  This is a comic book film, but it is incredibly off-script from the comics to my limited understanding.  So, it you are a purist, and I know many of you are . . . you may find certain aspects of Iron Man 3 sabotaging an otherwise excellent villain in The Mandarin.  I can’t spoil anything here, but a lot of people aren’t too thrilled with the choices for that character.  Look under the irate spoiler bar at the bottom of this review for what I mean.

Tony opens the film with a warning, that every day you may unwittingly create demons, personal and otherwise, in the choices you make.  In Tony’s case, he often makes poor choices when it comes to how to treat others – with a few exceptions in Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) and his buddy Colonel Rhodes (Don Cheadle).  So his demon list is probably pretty long, but as he recovers from “New York” as “The Avengers” story-line convention is labeled, he makes a mistake and, as he puts it “turned on the TV.”

Of course carnage and devastation are on every channel.  In fact, The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) is literally on every channel as he explains that he is teaching America, and American President Ellis (William Sadler), in particular, a series of lessons.   As Argo started out painting America in a not-so-positive light, IM3 does the same, pinpointing our poor treatment of the Native Americans in the nineteenth century.  To put it mildly.

Jon Favreau is back as Happy Hogan - who had to take a new gig, because telling people you are Iron Man’s bodyguard was not playing well with his ego.  This time Favreau opted out of directing and let Shane (Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang) Black tackle the challenge of keeping story, pacing and special effects fine-tuned with the overall successful engine that is the Iron Man franchise.  Considering what he had to work with, he did a decent job.

I liked the concept of showing that Iron Man is still a hero, even when you take away all his toys.  And, he doesn’t lose his impish charm even managing to tell some kid he just met not to be a pussy about the fact that his dad left him years ago.  It’s that je n’est ce quoi that makes Downey such a brilliant casting choice to play Iron Man for all these years.  With his own checkered past constantly nipping at his mind, Downey’s Tony Stark always plays like a super-star who owns his stardom and yet has flaws, much like the younger Downey who overcame addiction and anxiety to be where he is again in Hollywood.

Happy becomes a casualty of the lesson that The Mandarin has wrought on America – at the Chinese Theater, no less.  This is when Iron Man calls out the terrorist, old school style . . . basically he says, here’s my address, come and get me!  The Mandarin, of course, obliges!  Let’s just say that Stark faces a gut check, and when he wakes up he’s in Tennessee!  His suit is all but completely destroyed, and he literally has to drag it in for repairs.  Meanwhile, The Mandarin is giving us more lessons in the form of deadly terrorist bombings.  Thing is, there is NO bomb material left behind, just a crater where a bomb presumably was.  When is a bomb not a bomb?

As if all this wasn’t enough, an ex girl-fling (that’s what I am calling all his ‘exes’) Maya Hansen (Rebecca Hall) returns with some not so wonderful news.  And her boss, Aldrich Killian (Guy Pearce) is making the moves on Pepper!  Tony is ill-equipped (ironically) to deal with matters of the heart, and his attempts to calm the fiery Pepper equates to the largest, creepiest looking Velveteen Rabbit I have ever seen.  But, fret not, the bunny doesn’t last long.

With Happy on life support just on the edge of Downtown Abbey and Pepper worrying about Tony possibly being dead after the dramatic attack on his Malibu mansion, Tony befriends the kid I mentioned above.  Harley (Ty Simpkins) just so happens, conventionally, to be a kind of mechanical genius himself.  Ty managed to hold his own with RDJ on screen, and their barbs back and forth keep the story fresh.  The kid was excellent in Insidious as well!  Harley manages to help Tony in his pursuit of The Mandarin, but The Mandarin has some surprises in store for Iron Man as well as the audience.  Pepper is placed in direct line of fire in this one – several times, in fact!

Iron Man 3 delivers multiple layers of villainy, with James Badge Dale constantly showing up to piss on everyone’s parade as Savin.  Souped up on Extremis, he is more than a match for the unprepared Iron Man . . . and Iron Patriot.  I have only seen Dale in a few things, but his matter-of-fact presence in each sequence, as he casually chews gum, was intended to chill the audience.  He definitely came off as a cocky badass, but there were so many cocky characters in this film, it just didn’t have that genuine quality of the first Iron Man.

And about cocky characters I am sick of . . . I am not a fan of War Machine, or the Iron Patriot, nor do I care whatever actor plays him.  To me he has always been a cheap facsimile of the genuine article.  He just annoys me, when Marvel has THOUSANDS of other characters to choose from . . . can we please find a character that isn’t just a boy-wonder copy of the hero the film is named after? 
I used to play Marvel RPG as a kid, and the FASERIP sheet books were neatly (ok, not so neatly) stacked in my room with hundreds of character sheets with stats and back-stories galore.  Yet, we keep getting Rhodes . . . boring!  If there is another Iron Man stand-alone film, can I please start a petition to just have Iron Patriot be OUT of the film?  He’s like the Jar-Jar Binks of the franchise.  Yes, I said it.  And, I got nothing against Don Cheadle, he’s a fine actor, loved him Crash and Brooklyn’s Finest.  I’m just tired of Rhodes.

As with all action movies, there is a huge battle in the end, and you won’t be let down by that sequence at all.  There is a rescue effort on Air Force One and an infiltration at Vizcaya in Miami that were both memorable.  And one thing I particularly liked, as a right-wing Second Amendment supporter, is that Tony managed to do more damage with a credit card at Home Depot than with any arsenal of traditional “weapons” that scare the bejeezus out of liberal panty-waists!   It isn’t lost on me that some of them were acting in this film, but I wonder if they caught that?  Well, I did.

If you like watching your heroes torn down, Iron Man 3 is your flick.  But of the three, I still think Iron Man is the best of the series.  Until The Avengers came out, it was my favorite comic book film from Marvel.  Still, if you are hungry for an action-packed blockbuster this May, I can’t think of a better place for your butt to be than in a seat for Iron Man Three!
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John Dies at the End

May 1st, 2013

***½

It sucked!It'll be on cable.I liked it.It was good!It was awesome!! (Give us your rating!!)
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“What in the name of Elvis is going on?”

John Dies at the End

The H-Bomb: Dave (Chase Williamson) and John (Rob Mayes) were just a couple of typical, twenty-something slackers when they came upon a new mind altering drug called Soy Sauce. …

Solo . . . is coming!

April 30th, 2013

Sending out an S.O.S. – I hope that someone, namely me, gets their MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE!

Solo, the best soft drink out of Norway, has endeavored to create a spectacular cross-Atlantic voyage and this campaign is as inspiring as a real live Willy Wonka, someone will be the lucky recipient of one bottle for each nautical mile the bottle travels if they can pinpoint the exact location of landfall for this Norwegian long neck.