Amadarwin – Tech Sloth

Amadarwin was born in a rice paddy on a cloudy afternoon. Within seconds out of the womb, he was already harvesting rice for his Ur-quan masters alongside his mother, a former detergent pitch woman. Four years after his birth, give or take a few days, Amadarwin was swimming in the muddy river by his home and let Calgon take him away to the shores of Tripoli. Calgon was his best friend, and also an alligator…and their brief love affair lasted only long enough to make Amadarwin bleed. It was special.

Shortly after he arrived on the shores of Tripoli, he was assimilated by the Borg. He was told that resistance was futile with so much conviction that he was convinced to not bother putting up a fight. Unfortunately for Amadarwin, the Borg that assimilated him was quasi-retarded, so he never got a proper uplink to the hive. However, he did get vast fragments of technological knowledge – just enough for him to understand that he’s quasi-retarded as well. Amadarwin used his newfound quasi-retarded knowledge to look for a job, but since Corky and his pals took over all the great spots at McDowells, he had to look elsewhere. Lucky for him, he shortly found the perfect gig – maintaining a movie critic site from beneath the bowels of your local dump.

In his spare time, he likes to herd nerfs while whistling showtunes.

His all-time favorite movies include:


The 5th Element

The Princess Bride

Galaxy Quest

The Dark Knight

Beverly Hills Cop

One Response to “Amadarwin – Tech Sloth”

  1. Halloween Scream List 2011 - South Florida Movie Reviews by I Rate Films Says:

    […] Amadarwin had a tough time understanding the assignment, no doubt because his editor spared the Cat-O-Nine-Tails, but his two toppers were A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) – Probably the first movie that REALLY scared him…a bogie man that gets you while you sleep? The only movie that actually had him afraid to go to bed.  The Omen (1976) – Evil children scared him horribly when he was younger, and this one tops them all as far as that goes according to Amadarwin. […]