“What happens in Paris, stays in Paris . . . as the champagne cork takes out my left eye.

Storyline:  A romantic drama set in the ‘20s, Paris, where the son of a courtesan retreats into a fantasy world after being forced to end his relationship with the older woman who educated him in the ways of love.

The Cast:  Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathy Bates, Rupert Friend (and he’s no friend I tell ya!)  Poor, poor Michelle.  She should have waited for another comeback role.  This one bit the big one, chewed it up, poo’d out the goods and up grew a twig tree from the seed.  The story was weak.  The scenes were drab.  The dialogue was forgettable.  Kathy Bates was also not a good choice.  Her sheer presence is just too strong.  She steam rolls over everyone.  She needs to be in a vampire series or something.  Someone give Alan Ball a ring, Kathy needs to show up as a trampy cougar vamp on True Blood—now that’s the ticket! The cast was just poorly directed and this crew should have never been put together.  Unbelievable.  Very forgettable…

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Revolutionary Road is a period piece, taking place in 1950′s America, and is adapted from the novel by Richard Yates. It should have remained in novel form. The story revolved around a married couple who become disenchanted with suburban life, living the rut called the American Dream. In an attempt to change it up, they decide to move to Paris, but two things stand in their way – a lucrative promotion, and the possibility of a newborn to bring their family to five.

Leonardo DiCaprio (Frank Wheeler) and Kate Winslet (April Wheeler) bring their dynamic chemistry back from their pairing in Titanic. The acting was fantastic. Both actors bring out the subtle nuances of emotions as if they really feel them. And DiCaprio has the market cornered on blind rage. I can’t think of another actor off the top of my head that can do that as powerful as he can.

The only odd thing that stuck out was that April Wheeler, a housewife and mother of two, seemed to be constantly bereft of her children. Their presence was barely felt throughout the movie. You weren’t even aware they HAD children until about the thirty minute mark, and even then (at least for me) you think they’re neighborhood children. I guess it was so we could better focus on the Wheeler adults, but it felt more like the family was a sham. If the kids were going to be nonexistent anyway, Director Sam Mendes should have had them written out of the script altogether.

Unfortunately, good chemistry and great acting can’t do anything for a paltry story. You can’t polish a turd, as they say. Avoid at all costs.