The H-Bomb: Arthur and Norma Lewis (James Marsden and Cameron Diaz) are a perfectly happy middle class married couple living in 1970’s suburban Virginia. She’s a teacher at a private school, he’s a NASA scientist, and they have a young son, Walter (Sam Oz Stone). One day, a stranger by the name of Arlington Steward (Frank Langella) arrives on their doorstep. A vaguely sinister man, missing a portion of his face, Steward delivers a strange wooden box with a large red button on the top and makes Norma an offer: if she presses the button, her family will be given one million dollars in cash, but… someone in the world, a complete stranger, will die.

The other conditions are that she has 24 hours to decide, and she is only allowed to discuss it with her husband. If she tries to talk to anyone else about it, then Steward will somehow know about it and the deal will be off. While their first instinct is to tell this Steward guy to take his box and shove it up his rectum, the Lewis’s realize that they are strapped for cash, and that they won’t be able to afford to send their son to private school for much longer.

They also notice that other people around them have been acting strangely and suffering from nose bleeds. And just who the hell is this Steward guy, anyway, and what is this box? Could it have something to do with that Mars project Arthur has been working on…?

“The Box” is a movie that took me a couple of viewings to form a solid opinion on, and even then, I’m not sure how solid it is. Much like with writer/director Richard Kelly’s “Southland Tales”, there’s a lot about it that I liked, but there were things about it that I wasn’t too crazy about, which ultimately kept me from loving it. Given the studio budget and the cast, I expected this to be more mainstream than Kelly’s first two films, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Even though it’s more focused and palatable than “Southland Tales”, it’s still quite odd and obscure in places.

Adapted from a (very) short story by Richard Matheson (“Duel”, “Stir of Echoes”), this is actually a film that I can’t say much about without giving away spoilers. It’s part sci-fi, part morality tale, and part Richard Kelly mind fuck. The first hour or so of the movie recalls some of the great paranoia thrillers of the past, particularly “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. Helped by Langella’s subtly menacing performance and an terrifically eerie music score, it brilliantly establishes intrigue and builds up tension. I was all set to love it…

Then, along came the last act, where for me it just fell apart. Again, I can’t go into detail, but the way this set up played out just didn’t quite do it for me. I’m not sure where it went astray. Perhaps it was when Kelly fell back on his tired watery portal idea that he’s used in all three of his flicks now, I can’t quite say. I just know that it all but completely fizzled towards the end.

However, this is not at all a bad film. Far from it, in fact. The performances are all strong; Langella, again, is excellent, and Diaz and Marsden are very convincing as an average married couple who are thrust into this strange predicament and are forced to make some very difficult decisions. Many of the best science fiction films out there also deal with themes of morality intelligently, and this one is no different. It makes us think, “What would we do if someone told us to press a button, and we would get a million dollars, knowing that a stranger would die.” We would all like to say that we absolutely would not press the button… but you never know. A million dollars is a million dollars, and people die every day…

While not perfect, this is a smart, suspenseful film that may be frustrating at times, but is intriguing throughout. It’s not as powerful or engaging as Kelly’s “Donnie Darko”, it’s certainly an improvement over the messy, scatter-brained “Southland Tales”. Definitely worthwhile for filmgoers who like to think outside the box (sorry).

Rick Swift

“Wolverines”

Swift shot: Classic Milius! If you read my bio, you know this was one of my favorite films growing up, it put things at the time into a perspective I appreciated.  Today I have heard it described as silly and frivolous story-telling, bullshit, it was a great film and I will tell you why below…

Teddy Roosevelt 1899 – “Far better it is to dare mighty things . . . than to take rank with those poor timid spirits who know neither victory nor defeat.”

To explain why this film resonated with me is to reveal inner darkness, and perhaps why I have so hesitated to review this film.  As we dissect that which we love, we learn much about ourselves – and sometimes the truth is not pretty, but it is honest.

To say I have an intimate relationship with this film would be the understatement of the eighties, it would be like saying Gary Hart made some poor choices, who?  Yes, I see I need to set the tone here – go back with me to 1984, when we invaded Nicaragua and the Russians were occupying Afghanistan, boycotting the Olympics and CIA station-chief, William Buckley was kidnapped and eventually died at the hand’s of his captors in Iran. . . to a time when “Just Say No” was focused on the war on drugs and not trans-fats.

I was ten, and just starting to understand what it was to be an “American”.  Red Dawn wasn’t only socially relevant, it was a warning of what to expect if things didn’t change! As a re-hash of Red Dawn is now in the works, I hear people on blogs saying, how can they make that movie now?  Maybe we need to look at the last decade and the new Sino-Russian threat which may seem far-fetched to you.  But, I digress, that is the new film, let’s focus on the original.

Red Dawn centers around the fictional small-town of Calumet, Colorado, where one small skirmish of World War III takes place.  Russian-Cuban military units paratroop into the town and quickly seize it, rounding up people like me and seeing to it we don’t become partisans and insurgents.  Sounds like an easy plan, right?  WRONG COMMIE!  You don’t just drop into small-town America and expect to walk around unscathed, not if the Wolverines have anything to say about it.

Comprised of a few teenagers who manage to flee the initial assault and hide out successfully in the mountainous woods of “Colorado”, these Wolverines (their high school mascot) put up a tenacious resistance and become a ravenous nuisance for the occupying armies.  They are mostly naive, yet strong-willed youths who only want to survive and return to normalcy, but they soon realize that normal is a dream.  They stand up, willing to die, willing to kill, fighting for their homeland . . . til the death.

What so inspires me about Red Dawn is the way I seem to identify with all the characters – now more than ever even.  All of the characters deserve that scrutiny in Red Dawn, because Milius shows us the dramatic impact of violence, whether it be from the allies or the invaders perspective, death comes to everyone – and death is personal and painful in Red Dawn.

Characters are shot, tortured, humiliated, betrayed, and all manner of angst is printed on their hearts.  Some are led to a firing squad, some are forced to dig their own grave, put yourself in that guy’s shoes.  It’s easy to watch as a spectator, this work of fiction, but I know from my service (in Albania), people who were forced to do just that . . . and worse.   What would you do, tough guy?

We all want to believe we would be fighting the occupiers and holding our own – destroying as much enemy materiel and morale as possible – but, could you, if the shit hit the fan, right now, today, would you be ready?  Go on, laugh, pretend there isn’t evil in the world, pull your covers over your head and bury your fears in the sweet fiction of Hollywood.  It wasn’t too long ago that a man had explosives stitched into his underwear to kill Americans, that sounded pretty damned far-fetched to me . . . until it actually happened.  Think of the level of dedication for that “character” – starting to get my point now?

This film had a cast of relatively unknowns that went on to become somebodies.  The late Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Gray, Lea Thompson, and Charlie Sheen and my favorite character in the film, C. Thomas Howell, as Robert.  At the beginning, Robert dons a Star Wars cap with the bill turned up – until he learns of his father’s death and he drinks the blood of his first deer, after that, he is a different character altogether.

Robert embodies the uber-realist in war, and metes out justice without emotion.  His lust for revenge is never sated.  These characters always interest me the most, because their transformation is so immersing.  Robert has lost everything, and his hate keeps him warm at night, it is why he wakes up every morning and what he dreams about before closing his eyes – and I always wondered, what would Robert have been like if not for the war?

Red Dawn is easy to over-look as “just a cheesy, red-scare movie from the eighties” . . . until it becomes reality.  I lived in Norway, in a house that was seized by a Gestapo officer in World War II, a resistance fighter was killed down the street by having his mouth shoved on a tailpipe, tanks used to roll down the E39, fear and despair was everywhere.  To this day, Norwegians decorate their Christmas trees with little Norwegian flags, and I asked my friend why, he looked at me with no emotion and said matter-of-factly, “because the Germans wouldn’t let us fly our flags – you got killed for that”.  Tell a Norwegian that Red Dawn is just a scare-film, I dare you.

VERSUS

H-Man

“America! Fuck Yeah!”

The H-Bomb: I was checking out the DVD section of my local Wal-Mart when I chanced upon a DVD Double Pack of “Navy Seals” & “Red Dawn” for five bucks.  Knowing that “Red Dawn” is an old favorite of our esteemed editor Rick Swift, I decided “what the hell” and tossed it into the shopping cart. So, how does this personal fave of Mr. Swift’s rate with the H? Read and find out.

It’s the early mid-eighties in America, and the worst thing imaginable has just happened to us, we’ve been invaded by the Ruskies (With the help of Cuba and Mexico. If this movie were made today, you could throw in Iran and Venezuela as well)! The Soviets parachute into our country, and all but completely take it over in what seems to be the span of a day. However, there’s one thing those rat commie bastards didn’t count on… a pack of High Schoolers hiding in the mountains, armed to the teeth and determined to take their country back, guerrilla style! Yeah, take that you freedom hating Pinko fucks!

On the surface, this film seems to tell a purely patriotic, flag waving, nobody fucks with the U. S. of A. type story. However, to look into it a little more deeply, you could argue that the film’s real message is that occupation of one country by another will never work because the natives will always resist. And that could be applied to us in our adventures into Vietnam and Iraq just as much as it could to the Soviets invading Afghanistan. But seriously, who wants to look at it from that angle? I mean, this flick was co-written and directed by all American gun nut John Milius, one of the most macho, bad ass filmmakers in Hollyweird. He had a hand in writing the first two Dirty Harry movies and directed “Conan the Barbarian”. He makes movies for guys who like movies! He ain’t no candy ass!

As for the film itself, I enjoyed it and can definitely see why it’s achieved its cult status among action buffs. The action scenes were well-staged (if a bit redundant) and the film is surprisingly violent for PG-13 (yes, I’m aware this is the first PG-13 movie). Something that caught me off guard is how serious the tone of “Red Dawn” is. Not that I was expecting anything campy, but I was expecting it to be more… rousing, for lack of a better word, but it’s actually quite dark and a little bleak.

Another part where the movie falters is with the characterizations of teen rebels (led by Patrick Swayze. Why? Because he’s Patrick fuckin’ Swayze, bitch!). They all felt underdeveloped and therefore I never quite felt attached to them the way I should have. The young cast of now familiar faces, including Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson (the Mom from “Back to the Future”), and Jennifer Grey (who went on to star with Swayze in “Dirty Dancing”), all do fine, but sadly the script doesn’t give them much to work with. Powers Booth drops in as a shot down fighter pilot and completely owns for about twenty minutes or so. He really brings a sense of gravitas to the cast, and I almost wish he was the star.

Also, there were moments of what I think were unintentional silliness, like when Harry Dean Stanton shouts “AVENGE ME!!!” to his sons. That part just made me laugh out loud.

But why am I even complaining, it’s “Red Dawn”, for Christ’s sakes. Odds are your minds are already made up on this one. If you’re nostalgic for the 80’s, or enjoy good, old fashioned 80’s shoot em ups (80’s action movies… nothing quite like them), then you probably have a special place for it right in your cinematic carnage loving heart. I know boss man Swift does.

As for what I thought of the other half of this DVD Double Header, “Navy Seals”, I think Kevin Smith was spot on in referring to it as one of the most “intellectually devoid movies on the rack”. But I kind of had fun with that one, too.

“When in Rome” is a romantic comedy that is more comedy than romance (thank God). Kristin Bell stars as Beth, a single, career-driven woman whose sister Joan (Alexis Dziena) is about to be married in Rome after a whirlwind romance. While at Joan’s wedding, Beth meets Nick (Josh Duhamel), a charming reporter who flirts with her.

Beth thinks there is chemistry, but then she sees Nick with another woman. Upset and hurt, Beth drunkenly stumbles into the Fontana de Amore, where legend states that if you throw in a coin, you will find love. She decides to take some coins in the hope that she will get some love of her own.

When Beth returns home to NYC, she suddenly finds herself the object of affection of several men. Antonio (Will Arnett) is an artist, Lance (Jon Heder, yes, Napoleon Dynamite himself) is a street magician, Gale (Dax Shepard) is a model, and Al (Danny DeVito) is a sausage magnate. These guys can’t get enough of Beth!! She is inundated with flowers and baskets of meat products. Even with all this attention, Beth can’t stop thinking about Nick. When she learns that the owners of the coins she took from the fountain will magically fall in love with her, she wonders if what she and Nick have is real or an illusion.

The characters in this movie, especially the colorful supporting cast, were fantastic. The story wasn’t as cliched as I thought it would be and there were more than just a few humorous situations. Overall it was a fun, funny movie that I really enjoyed. So is it true love or a magic spell?? You will have to watch the movie to find out!!  But you will not be disappointed. “When in Rome” is one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in a while.

“Every person is born twice.”

Swift shot:  Only James Cameron could remake Fern Gully and make me enjoy it!  Or wait, was it Dances With Wolves?  Still, the graphics will astound you!  There are times when it starts to feel like you are watching the Discovery Channel though, like a good hour of the film is just vast, expansive shots of nature on the planet, Pandora.  If that is your thing, if you like that, you will freaking cream over Avatar.  If you are like me and are more into the psychology of a story and the action, you’ll want to hit the virtual fast forward.

Hardly spoiling anything here, and unless you are incredibly slow, you get that Avatar is a criticism of the white’s pillaging of the Native Americans (Na’Vi).  But, what you won’t get from Avatar is a fair assessment of that time.

Avatar takes you through a video journal of Marine veteran, Jake Sully (Sam Worthington), who has lost the use of his legs, but being a mere Corporal, is unable to attain the credits needed for surgery to repair his spine.

Set in 2154, we follow the transformation of Jake, whose twin was murdered for the “paper in his wallet” hence unable to complete his mission as an Avatar driver on the distant, recently discovered planet, Pandora.

Jake never received any training for how to drive one of these Avatars, or Dreamwalkers as the natives refer to them, but once he feels his toes wiggle – the rest is just cake.  Dreamwalkers are essentially bio-bots, mere puppets for the human masters controlling them from a sensory deprivation chamber of sorts.

His instructor is Jane Goodall, no wait, I mean Grace Augustine (Sigourney Weaver), who feels the only way to understand the Na’Vi, is to literally become one of them.  Jake, being a hot-head, undisciplined type, almost immediately finds himself stranded in his new “vehicle”.  But, he is quickly encountered by the Omaticaya Clan princess, Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) who reluctantly teaches him the ways of her tribe.

As Jake becomes more engrossed in the tribal life, and as he learns how magically they interact with the creatures around them, he starts to wonder where dream and reality differ.  He begins to identify more with his Avatar than his wheel-chair bound, human persona.  Jake is torn between his loyalty to his mission or his loyalty to his new family, the Omaticaya Clan.   His mission is to learn how to best negotiate with the Na’Vi, to learn what they might want from the humans, and the stakes are dire – for if he can’t convince them to re-settle, they will be removed by force.

The creatures in this film were nothing short of miraculous, with stellar shots of swooping dragon-like birds that become mounts for the Na’Vi people.    By far one of the better reasons to experience this film, and if you can, in 3D for that authentic feel to the action.  Still, a film can’t stand on special effects and amazing creatures alone – the story has to be compelling.  What amazed me about Star Wars was the story, not the special effects, what amazed me about Avatar was the special effects, not the story.

The story was too one-sided, and becoming a common theme out of Hollywood these days, the greedy humans have messed up their world, so they need to rape someone else’s resources, writ small, that is an attack on all us evil prospering nations currently getting flack in Copenhagen (right as this was released, no less).

James Cameron delivers a magnificent dream, as he launches us into a world far from Earth, yet not far enough away from her corruption.  But, he failed to suck me in without coming across as a hypocrite.  About 95% of the film was really voice-work, thus much of the emotional force was driven by a team of geeks in swivel chairs pounding down energy drinks as they painstakingly captured raw feelings through their “avatars”.

Overall, an amazing visual experience will be shared by all who see this in theaters.  What you won’t all share though is enthusiasm for the overall product.  Some of you will be looking at your watches and thinking, crap, is this movie ever going to end?  It was just too long.  It was incredibly predictable and it was painfully preachy.  Some people might not like sitting there for just short of three hours being lectured to, whilst shelling out their money to endure the lecture.  Still, the kids will love this one, shame Cameron didn’t knock out the profanity, as the film is clearly geared towards merchandising – which typically means kids or forty-year-old virgins will line up to purchase their own . . . Avatars.

BLUE ALERT – SPOILERS AND POLITICS BELOW

What is unobtanium?  Is it gold, where it is just a precious alloy, or is it necessary to the well-being of our “dying planet”?  What kind of things did this Marine Corporal do in theaters before, like in Venezuela?  Watching Battle for Terra, at least the humans were desperate for a new home – in Avatar, we are just assholes apparently who want unobtanium because it is pretty?

Or, maybe it was an attack on progress, had we let the Native Americans alone, had we just never invented certain technologies, maybe we would all be happier – again, being non-human, or savages, primitives?  Like District 9, there is this humans are bad attack again, a veiled attempt to shun us for raping Mother Earth.

Yet, here is Cameron using the most state-of-the-art special effects of any film to date – I am assuming it took more than just rubbing two sticks together . . .   So, before you attack my political critique, remember, you are reading this review on a computer or a cell phone – think about that, Cameron.  Maybe you would be happier sitting around the fire singing kumbaya and worshipping a frakking tree.  But, realistically, you know better.

Case in point, enjoy this film for what it is – FANTASY!  Humans are not perfect, and wars aren’t always fought for the noblest of causes, but I am so sick of Hollywood’s green agenda – get a new theme, you are starting to piss me off – and worse, BORE ME!  This movie clocked in at just under three hours, Fern Gully was only 90 minutes.

What I felt was seriously missing was the classic Native American torture scene of all good westerns of my day.  Where the natives ride into camp, kidnap a few settlers and torture them on a wagon wheel all night long, and the screams echo throughout the night in a garish melody of suffering.  Where was Cameron’s balance?  So sick of one-sided stories, no race is without sin, period.  This film failed to show the darker side of the Na’Vi and came across as weak and uninteresting.  I like my films to have more depth and balance.

It will all come together in the end… sort of.

The H-Bomb: A father, Peter (Bernard Hill), is searching for his missing son, young Londoner Milo (Sam Riley) is moping in deep depression after his fiancé dumps him, flaky goth chick Emilia (Eva Green) tries to commit suicide as part of her art school project, and a masked man badly in need of a throat lozenge (Ryan Phillippe) roams around a futuristic city that looks like the fantasy love child of Tim Burton and Terry Gilliam. During all this I’m wondering, who the hell is Franklyn?

This weird, trippy British film, that flew completely under the radar here in the U.S., has a lot going for it in the ideas department, but falls just short of greatness. As stated above, there are four main story threads involving very different characters. Three of these stories take place in modern day London.

The fourth takes place in an effed up, dystopian nightmare world called Meanwhile City. It centers around a vigilante named Jonathan Preest, who, rather ironically, is the only atheist in a city where having religious beliefs is required by law. He is searching for someone called The Individual, a cult leader who Preest believes kidnapped and murdered a young girl. Phillippe’s Preest is basically your garden variety modern superhero; dark, mysterious, slightly unhinged, and talks in a deep, raspy voice like Christian Bale’s Batman or “Watchmen”’s Rorschach. This story is also a bit reminiscent of “V for Vendetta” as well.

Meanwhile, back on the planet Earth, the tortured artist Emilia, whose look ranges from hauntingly beautiful to freakishly… freakish, is back in the hospital after yet another suicide attempt. It’s all part of some video art project and at first seems to be nothing more than a stereotypically lame attempt to get attention from her wealthy mother.

However, it’s later learned that Emilia does have a dark secret in her past. French actress Green, who sounds more and more British with each passing movie, inhabits the role perfectly and brings to it the same mix of mystique and humanity that she brought to the role of Vesper in “Casino Royale”.

While this is going on, we are also forced to watch the dour Milo mope around in what is easily the weakest of the film’s story threads. In it, this pathetic, depressing drip of a character moans about how much he thought his cold footed bride-to-be was “the one,” and seeks the comfort of his best friends, and a few bottles of red wine. Then he runs into Sally, a striking young redhead who was his childhood friend, and the two start to hit it off.

This really is the worst of the four stories mainly because, writing wise, it’s the least interesting. For the most part it plays out like some half-assed romantic drama, and even after a key revelation late in the game, it just doesn’t measure up to anything else in the movie. Riley tries his best, but his character was just a frowning sad sack who I hoping would either get hit by a bus or struck by lightning. Oh, and Eva Green plays Sally as well, for reasons that will make sense in the end.

Finally there’s Peter’s story involving his search for his son. As we follow him, we find out that his son is a very troubled person and perhaps even dangerous. Hill plays Peter with just the right amount of dignity and anguish, and comes off like the seasoned pro that he his (he played the captain of the ship in “Titanic”).

First time writer/director Gerald McMorrow lets all the stories play out at the same time, often cutting back and forth between them. For me, that was a problem early in the film. It jumps around to the various characters in random, “21 Grams” style, and just as one story would start to get interesting, it would abruptly switch to another one. It does settle down after a while, but this storytelling style does require some re-adjusting on the part of the viewer.

I would say that McMorrow falls into that trap that many young filmmakers do, that he tries to cram too much into one film. He doesn’t let it go off the rails like Richard Kelly did with “Southland Tales”, but he does run that risk, and there really is enough material here for four films.

All of these story threads do come together (even the fantasy one) in a way that is fairly unpredictable and reasonably satisfying. This did get some attention in Europe during it’s theatrical run earlier this year, but, like I said, it went completely unnoticed Stateside. Hopefully that shall change now that the film is on DVD. It’s a cool, intriguing little movie that’s worth seeking out. Oh, and who is Franklyn? Sorry, you’ll have to watch to find out.

Rick Swift says, “The ninja appears to be back . . . “

The H-Bomb: A martial arts trained assassin wages a one man war against his former clan and his master. Let the bloodbath begin…

“Ninja Assassin” can be best described as a martial arts movie fan’s wet dream. It’s blood and guts galore stuffed full of fistfights, sword fights and knife fights in a plot that’s there simply to get us from one violent action scene to another. The opening sequence is an all out slaughter at a Yakuza hang out that lets the audience know exactly what they’re in for… one kick ass, crazy as fuck all ride!

Seriously, this flick is so Goddamn wild it’s exhausting at times. There isn’t a  single thing it doesn’t go for, violence wise. Anything that can be done to a human body with a sharpened instrument is demonstrated in this flick; decapitations, half-capitations, bodies being cut in half at the waist, torsos cut in half diagonally, arms chopped off, legs chopped off, blades through the throat… during most of the mayhem all you see are severed limbs flying around the screen. This shit makes “Kill Bill, Vol. 1″ look like Dora the Explorer! At the end of one lengthy battle, our hero, Raizo (Rain), looks like he was dropped into a meat grinder.

Director James McTeiguegot to flex his action muscles a little with the terrific “V for Vendetta”, but here he really pulls out all the stops and gives us an action film that’s as over the top as it is entertaining. The film’s outlandish style and excessive bloodletting reminded me a little of “Punisher: War Zone”, only this movie is not nearly as stupid.

Raizo is a warrior who was taken into a secret clan as a young boy and trained as a Ninja by the clan’s brutal master, Ozunu (Sho Kosugi). That’s what the clan does, takes in orphans and trains them ultimately to be hired out as assassins. It’s a secret practice, that, as legend has it, has been going on for a thousand years. Raizo quickly becomes Ozunu’s favorite pupil, but when Ozunu executes a female student who had befriended Raizo, Raizo turns on his clan and vows revenge. Meanwhile, Mika (Naomie Harris), is a young investigator with EuroPol, who is convinced that this clan exists and is quickly closing in on them. The clan knows she’s on to them, so it isn’t long before they send someone after her.

That’s really all that needs to be said about the plot. It’s the kind of thing you’ll find in dozens of martial arts films. Korean star Rain is perfect as the stoic, silent hero. His fighting skills speak for themselves and he has charisma to spare. He’s the kind of indestructible, take-anything-that’s-thrown-at-him hero that only exists in the movies. Harris, who’s never looked hotter on film, does fine in what is essentially the damsel in distress role. Her character isn’t completely helpless, mind you, but when the fighting starts, there isn’t much for her to do but stand back and let Raizo do his thing. The standout, though, is Sho Kosugi as the stone cold Ozunu. He’s a villain with his own warped set of ethics and principles. A sort of Mr. Miyagi with a sadistic streak. Kosugi was a staple of Ninja films back in the 80’s, and he comes back with a vengeance with this menacing performance.

As much as I enjoyed this film, I do have a few issues with it. The editing in some of the action scenes suffered from “Batman Begins”/”Quantum of Solace” syndrome, which is to say they were cut together so quickly and chaotically that it was often difficult to tell what was happening. The fact that the lighting was very dark in these scenes didn’t help matters either. There were times where I felt like I was about to have an epileptic seizure trying keep up with what I was seeing. Another problem was that some of the blood spurts were obviously CGI in places, which always pulls me out of the movie. I also feel I should point out that the violence is fucking BRUTAL, so much so that it induces winces in places. Like I said, “Kill Bill” seemed tame in comparison. Far be it from me to complain about something like that, but, a surprising amount of the violence involves children, which even put me off a little.

But, all bitching aside, I must say I had a blast with this movie. It’s a fun, wild, balls out, very R-rated action flick that any friend of the genre will love… so long as they check their brain at the door.

“It’s not an owl.”

Swift shot: Whether you want to believe or just want to have your mind screwed with for about 100 minutes, this flick will juice your heart and crank your imagination.  A bit slow paced, but delivers where it needs to.  The split-screen reality vs. fiction convention got old at times and really detracted from the authenticity – which was the opposite effect desired by the creators.  Still, a great flick for the curious cats out there.

The Fourth Kind enters with a disclaimer from actress Milla Jovovich, who portrays “real life” Dr. Abbey Tyler – a warning that what you are about to see is both true and disturbing.  She lays out some facts and claims all the scenes are based on either witness testimony, video or tape footage.  After the film I heard many people asking, do you think it was real?  Someone asked me directly and I just smiled.  I’d advise watching the film before you do any research on the veracity of the archived footage -that was what I did anyway.

This pseudo-documentary centers on Doctors William & Abbey Tyler, professors in Nome, Alaska working on a study to explain many residents claims of insomnia . . . accompanied by a strange vision – an owl.  Dr. William Tyler is never seen in the movie, as he was dead at the onset of the film, and this case becomes an obsession for his wife, raising two children without a father.  The death of William Tyler was so traumatic that Abbey’s youngest child, Ashley Tyler (Mia Bruce) loses her sight through conversion disorder.  Her oldest, Ronnie, grows up before his time, and the kid who played him was so sub-par imdb.com doesn’t even list him, that’s a first.

Dr. Tyler soon finds herself under the accusatory watch of Sheriff August, well depicted by Will Patton, following a tragic incident with one of her patients.  Things start to go bump in the night and the pace picks up a bit as she invites one of her colleagues, Dr. Abel Campos (Elias Koteas) to assist with these strange owl sightings.

While the title gives away certain elements of the film, there are still complex and disturbing themes that should leave a mark.  Writer/Director Olatunde Osunsanmi does an excellent job of sporadically exploding with terror in a way that doesn’t come across as cheesy or forced and with incredibly believable footage.

Much like Blair Witch in 1999, I imagine this will be researched ad nauseum and both sneered at by nay-sayers and held up as a banner for believers that we are not alone.  For my part,  I know what I believe, only a small mind can put a finite end to our universe.  Once you accept that there are no boundaries to our universe, how can you limit your imagination to fool yourself that we are alone?  I guess for those that want to sleep at night, maybe it is “just an owl.”

The H-Bomb: Young artist Calvin is facing some difficult decisions in his life; he has to decide what kind of artist he wants to be, and he has to decide between two very different women.

“Independent” is a word that is really over-used these days; films produced by studio off shoots like Focus (Universal) or Fox Searchlight are considered “independent.” Films featuring major stars working at reduced rates are considered “independent.” Films with budgets of $10 or 20 million are considered “independent.” That’s why “Chiaroscuro, Baby” is something of a breath of fresh air for me; in this age of phony, fully studio supported “indies”, “Chiaroscuro, Baby” is a true blue, honest to God independent film, in the true sense of the term.

It was shot entirely in my stomping ground of Jacksonville, Fl (largest city in the U.S., geographically), on a small budget with no stars or studios anywhere in site. It was made the way indies used to be made, through determination, imagination, and a lot of people who care.

The story, at it’s core, is fairly simple. Calvin (Christopher Bolla) is a fledgling twenty-something artist living in Jacksonville. His girlfriend is Nancy (Christianna L. White), a blond bombshell who is high strung, high maintenance, and a bit of a swinger. Calvin has found a lucky break, he has an opportunity to become rich and famous with his collages. Only problem, he’s not interested in making collages, his real passion is to paint. Yet everyone around him, especially Nancy, who has finally come to a decision on the marriage proposal he made to her 3 years ago, now that Calvin may become wealthy, wants him to pursue the collages.

Everyone, except Marjorie (Milan Alley), a feisty young woman who Calvin meets by accident. An artist herself, Marjorie sees something in Calvin’s paintings, volunteers to model (nude) for him, and encourages him to keep painting. One career path will surely lead to financial success, the other, while more fulfilling, is also more uncertain… oh what, oh what, shall our Calvin do?

The film was shot in black & white and has a very “Swingin’ 60’s” vibe to it, though it’s set in modern day. It portrays the inner circles of the art world as being about sex, drugs, &… well, more sex and more drugs. Writer/Director Anthony Kilburn shows that while he may come from the theatre, he is a natural born talent behind the camera. He gives us a real feel for the world these characters inhabit (the art world… yikes!), his direction is stylish without being distracting, and while he does supply copious amounts of nudity, none of it seems gratuitous. He also elicits strong performances from his actors.

Bolla plays the conflicted Calvin to a T. He made him perfectly believable and relatable. White is great as the materialistic, opportunistic bitch Nancy, who pitches a fit any time she sees Calvin even conversing with another woman, yet has no qualms about jumping into a threesome when she feels the urge. As Marjorie, Alley is wonderfully witty, caustic, and sympathetic. We know when we meet her she’s the woman Calvin should be with… but does he know that?

While I enjoyed “Chiaroscuro, Baby” (how many of you know how to pronounce that?), being the critic that I am, I do have some criticisms. First, a technical note; I don’t know what the filmmakers used to record the sound on this film, but it was not recorded well (me suspects camera mic). Not too often, but at times, I had a hard time hearing what was being said, and some of the dialogue I completely missed altogether. Another issue I have is the length, the film, frankly, is overlong and it does drag a little in parts.

I also think there were some side characters (including a requisite token gay guy) and subplots that, while they were played and executed well, didn’t really need to be there, and I think distracted a little too much from the main love triangle aspect of the movie (as well as contributing to its over-length). I also thought a big scene near the end, which I won’t spoil, played out kind of silly, and to me, seemed out of step with the rest of the film.

However, all that noise aside, I liked it. It’s rare to see an actual indie film anymore. They really are a dying breed. It’s even rarer to see one that was shot in my neck of the woods. And it’s even rarer still to see one that’s actually any good (believe me, I know). I’m a big believer in supporting my local independent film scene, and that’s why I was pleased to find that “Chiaroscuro, Baby” is well written, well acted, and overall quite entertaining. It’s an obvious labor of love, and I’m glad I got a chance to see it. It will be making it’s official premier in November, and I hope it gets picked up by someone, somewhere, so maybe you get a chance to see it as well.

When I see Spike Jonze is involved in anything creative, I always get really excited to see whatever product his name is involved in. In this case it happened to be one of my favorite books as a child. Not only because I share a name with the main character, but also because we shared common anger management issues growing up without a father.

Jonze opens up the movie with a beautiful depiction of how a mother and son can interact, as we watch Max (Max Records) play with his mother’s toes until he innocently spits out an incredibly imaginative short story. Max’s stability is shattered when he sees his mom flirting and drinking with another man before dinner; his anger and depression turns into an intriguing parallel world filled with big monsters and never-ending forests. Jonze does an excellent job in creating dialog and a story that doesn’t really exist in the original novel. Two monsters in particular, Carol and KW, have problems of their own stemming from Max’s abandonment issues.

Jonze continues to explore Max’s issues as a perfect world filled with mud fights and sleeping together in a huge pile turns to jealousy between friends and betrayal. The art direction and set design (real forests coupled with CGI) make this movie unforgettable. Jonze’s shaky camera work lends to the viewers immersion into writer Maurice Sendak’s unforgettable artwork. Max quickly becomes the King of his own fantasy world, but soon realizes how much harder being happy all the time really is. Each monster in the wild world has their own specialty they lend to building a new world or town where everyone can be happy all the time. Max has taken personalities and characteristics from every part of his life and thrown them into this pseudo-Utopian world. King Max quickly realizes that nothing can be flawless and even in his own dreams he can’t control other people’s emotions or decisions.

Unfortunately we never really get any kind of resolution when it comes to Max and his exaggerated temper tantrums. Where the Wild Things Are comes to an unsatisfying conclusion at only 94 minutes of run time, and leaves us thinking about what Max will do to cope with his father’s absence. Will he continue to run away and get lost in his own fantasy world, or will he stick around and deal with them now that he’s had such an eye-opening experience?