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Sacha Baron Cohen, back in the US and A…  Brace yourselves…

The H-Bomb:  Admiral General Aladeen (Sacha Baron Cohen) is the leader of Wadiya, a fictional country located somewhere in North Africa.  Sporting a signature beard that he was born with, and an immaculate white military uniform, he spends his days having his underlings killed for the slightest of reasons and his nights bedding Hollywood’s hottest celebrities.  Facing the threat of sanctions against his made-up nation over his nuclear program that he swears “is being developed for peaceful purposes,” Aladeen decides to travel to the United Nations in New York City to address the general assembly.

Soon after arriving in the Big Apple, Aladeen is kidnapped out of his hotel suite by John C. Reilly, who then proceeds to torture him in the most inhumane way imaginable…  by cutting off his signature sacred beard.  Aladeen manages to escape, and soon discovers that ranking members of his government have staged a coup, and that a double has taken his place at the U.N.  Aladeen attempts to tell the guards at the U.N. who he is, but to no avail.  He then listens in horror as his slow-witted double promises to reform and turn Wadiya into a democracy and will sign a treaty making it official in a few days time.

That gives our “beloved oppressor” a few days time to reclaim his identity and prevent his country from being stolen out from under him (that’s how he sees it, at least).  Eventually, he is aided by some new age hippie chick (Anna Faris) who owns a green, non-profit grocery store that will be catering the U.N. event, thus giving Aladeen a way to sneak into the building.  The only hiccup is, aside from this girl’s hairy armpits, is that she is an avid anti-Aladeen activist, and if she discovered his true identity, it could mean more trouble for our deposed tyrant on the lam.  Raunchy, audacious, gleefully politically incorrect hi-jinx, as well as cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious nation of Wadiya ensue.

The Dictator is pretty much exactly what you would expect from Sacha Baron Cohen and Larry Charles, the actor and director who graced the world with Borat and Bruno.  It’s filled with that same kind of “wrong” humor that can make us wince just as much as it can make us laugh.  It is an equal opportunity offender that sticks it to just about every culture in existence; Middle Eastern, America, Asian, it don’t matter.  If there’s one thing to be learned from watching these films, it’s that nothing is taboo for Cohen and Charles.

Unlike Borat and Bruno, this is a feature film, with a script and actors in every single role, as opposed to the quasi-documentaries that those earlier movies were.  And because of that, The Dictator has, unfortunately, substantially less bite.  In Borat and Bruno, we saw this ridiculous character going up to real people in the real world, and it was their honest reactions to this nut that helped make those movies as funny (and uncomfortable) as they were.  Now, I understand why they dropped that approach, as Cohen has just become too damn famous to be able to trick people anymore, but still, it has lost a certain something-something because of that.

That is, however, not to say that The Dictator is not a funny movie, because it is.  It’s often hysterical, with Cohen’s Aladeen making the sexist, racist, anti-Semitic statements that we’ve come to expect from one of his characters.  Aladeen is basically Borat, if Borat were the leader of a country.  For people with a taste for this kind of thing, there is a lot to make them split a gut over.  For me, the highlights included a scene that involved a woman giving birth and a cell phone, another in which Aladeen discovers the sacred art of self-gratification, and my personal favorite, one that’s shown partially in the trailers, Aladeen and one of his followers terrorizing a couple of tourists on a helicopter.

There are times, however, when the humor goes from being provocatively subversive to downright tasteless, such as when Aladeen is playing a first-person-shooter videogame called “The Munich Olympics”, in which, as you may have guessed, he controls a terrorist running around a dorm gunning down Israeli athletes.  At the screening I attended, that gag was met with an uncomfortable murmur instead of laughter.  Another bit that doesn’t work is a running joke in which Aladeen was constantly making up aliases for himself by reading them off of nearby signs.

But overall, the funny does outweigh the unfunny in The Dictator.  After all, how many movies are there where you get to see Ben Kingsley kiss another man’s armpits?  Or have Megan Fox spoof her own image in such a candid way?  In fact, there are a surprising number of celebrity cameos, including Edward Norton in what has to be the most demeaning role of his career.  To sum it up, if you’re the kind of person who was offended by Borat and Bruno, then you do not want to see The Dictator, because it is very crude, very rude, and goes places that other comedies would never ever dare (making jokes about African child soldiers and molesting 14 year-old boys), and what else would you expect from a film that starts off with the dedication “In loving memory of Kim Jong-Il?”

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“If a man can become a monster, then a monster can become a man.”

Swift shot:  Freaky, weird, romantic, it’s all Burton and Depp.  A tragic love story set across time, where all magical and maniacal things are possible.  Where I found it lacking was in the ensemble concept, a lot of the characters got dashed away, like storylines hurled from the craggy rocks to the terrible tides below.  But because this two hour film is based on a series that ran for five years in the 60′s  and 70′s, I was expecting a bit of the characters to be lost.  A full running series rarely, if ever, translates into a brilliant film.

The series was a kind of campy, melodrama, soap-opera with dark creatures.  I saw it playing on Sci-Fi (back when it was still called that) about twenty years ago, but it never really got more than a few minutes of my time.  So, I am no authority on Dark Shadows, but I did hear that the original Barnabas Collins actor, Jonathon Frid passed away last month, Friday the 13th – which that in itself is creepy.  I’ll be kind and not draw on any comparisons to Depp here.

It’s 1750, Liverpool, a few hundred years before a little rock band would grace our delicate shores.  The Collins family, fish mongers, decide to set up a whole town in America.  Barnabas is only a boy when they leave England behind forever on a great ship heading to Maine.  He is a decent lad, and he has already caught the eye of a little girl who is of lower class and also sets sail on the great ship to America.  His life is charmed, to say the least, he is essentially royalty, as his family’s glorious Collinwood is constructed as he becomes a young man.  Now a young woman, his admirer, Angelique (Eva Green) has developed into a beauty, but she has some dark thoughts when Barnabas (Depp) falls in love with the stunning Josette (Bella Heathcote).  In fact she decides to punish him in the worst way possible, reminding us there are fates worse than death . . . when you are in love, life itself can be a tragedy.

Angelique has trapped him in his own body, never to know the release of death and to endure the pain of losing the one he loves . . . endlessly.  After he is shut in a coffin, fate intervenes and in 1972, he is released in his name’s sake Collinsport, Maine.  Collinwood, the majestic domicile to the Collins clan that he watched his parents construct has been reduced to a veritable ruins.  But, after he makes himself known to the lady of the manor, Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer) and she discovers his secret, she decides to let him stay . . . provided he never harms anyone in the house, or in the family.

The family consists of Elizabeth’s half-witted brother, Roger Collins, played quite well by the full-witted Johnny Lee Miller.  Roger is a widower, and barely tolerates his son’s existence.  His son, David (Gulliver McGrath) keeps letting on that he sees his dead mother, and the family has hired (at this point) the live in psychiatrist Dr. Julia Hoffman (Helena Bonham Carter).  The wonderfully spoiled pup of the family, Carolyn (Chloe Grace Moretz) keeps us in a constant state of reminder that this is the 1970′s.  In her entrance, she even plays Season of the Witch, which is a prelude of dark things to come.  So, here is where I say everything gets lost, you also have the mysterious new addition, other than Barnabas, to the manor in Victoria Winters (Heathcote again).  On the music, it and Collinwood are characters of the film as well.

So, with all these characters running around, the story of each character gets underdone at best.  The focus, rightfully so, is on Barnabas and his adjusting to the modern world, and the hilarity ensues.  Sure, you will laugh at the antics and the odd choices Barnabas makes.  But, never forget, he is a monster, and Burton and screen-writer Seth Grahame-Smith make sure that isn’t lost on the audience several times.

Barnabas has hidden treasures that he uses to finance his fishing empire anew, and he employs some of his bag of tricks to ensure that the townsfolk are his willing staff.  This royally pisses off the rival fish tycoon, Angie who bears a striking resemblance to Angelique.  No spoiler here, it is her, she is a witch and she is still in love with Barnabas.  She allows him to play at fish monger again, but she always reminds him he is a monster and she really, really wants to get physical.  In one of the best scenes of the movie, there is a sure to be talked about “love” scene between the two.  Eventually the two fish figure out they can’t co-exist in the same pond, and the inevitable big showdown comes out.

If you loved 70′s music, like a little retro vampire action and are a huge fan of the quirky combo of Burton/Depp required staples, i.e. always wearing a ton of face makeup and with very deliberate physical acting, where Depp is really almost dancing in every scene . . . and of course steals every scene, this is your film.  It is part love story, part horror and all quirky fun.  I just wish I knew a lot more about the characters, other than Depp and Green, I very much felt like I wasn’t connecting to the other characters.  Gulliver, as David did have a few powerful scenes, but we learned so little about the boy that those parts felt tacked on ultimately.

To be sure, every actor brought their best work, and Green did this really creepy thing with her voice that sent a chill up my spine.  She was the best witch I have seen on screen in a long time.  And, yes, I am over sparkling vampires and bare-chested werewolves, it was refreshing to see a completely horrific and believable daughter-of-Lucifer on the silver screen again.

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“The entire universe is a symphony.”

Swift shot:  Another quirky little flight-of-fancy from Writer/Director Valerie Breiman, stacked with some life-lessons and philosophical questions on faith, love and all that lies in between.  I wasn’t laughing the whole flight, but there were certainly enough carefully crafted scenes that earned a chuckle or two and one scene, although I saw it coming from a mile, was still pretty dog-gone hilarious!

Our lead characters are both neurotic to the extreme; successful in their careers but incredibly insecure about love.  Jenny (Rachel Blanchard) is a copywriter whose latest claim to fame is a little jingle for a vegan kitty chow company.  Opposite Jenny is Tom (James D’Arcy) who is a highly-intelligent string-theory physicist professor that travels around giving lectures.  The two meet while grabbing the same self-help book at an LAX book store.  It’s always interesting to me that Breiman’s characters never struggle with other aspects of their lives but are always utter failures at love.

Tom is sitting in first-class when a, supposedly, super-famous rapper, TMJ (Gbenga Akinnagbe) reluctantly sits next to him . . . with a small white puppy in his lap in a carrier-cage.  See, it’s Valentine’s Day, and TMJ’s girl in New York is forcing him to fly commercial to reconnect with her and to join the real people.  Thing is, first-class is too good for her, TMJ needs to really slum and sit with the losers in coach.  As luck would have it, and because Jenny caught his eye, Tom offers that TMJ should trade seats with Jenny.  Of course, it wouldn’t be a comedy if Jenny weren’t sitting next to two very non-stereotypical Muslim men . . . who were randomly selected for enhanced pat-downs prior to boarding the plane.

Amir (Maz Jobrani) and Mohammed (Mousa Kraish) were such dastardly types they were playing Go-Fish when we first see them.  I must confess, I think that is the first time I have seen Go-Fish in a movie with an R-rating, so that alone deserves cool points, plus Breiman managed to show a game of Asteroids and used that device to abruptly shift the tone of the story.  I call that effective writing that closely mirrors reality – which is another thing I love about Breiman scripts.

While all the tom-foolery is happening in the cabin, some pretty serious shit is going down in the cockpit.  The atheist pilot, Captain Brody (Anthony LaPaglia) is forced to endure an Overnight flight with an incredibly naive, yet theologically zealous co-pilot, Derek.  Josh Braaten proved the old adage, there are no small parts, only small actors, as he really stole his scenes as the super good-natured co-pilot.  And while his character didn’t have much dialog, he used what he was given with professional aplomb.  For some reason, he was the character who, when the film ended, I wanted to know the most about.

Using the time-frame of one Overnight flight from LAX to JFK, Breiman covers the love-life arc of a full-length relationship between Tom and Jenny.  As they learn about one another, we learn a little about ourselves, our misconceptions and expectations.  But, overall we learn what love is and how it is defined at 33,000 feet.  You won’t know what I mean unless you get yourself a seat on-board and check this little rom-com out.  It is releasing April 20, 2012 in select theaters in South Florida, Seattle, and Kansas.

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“Sometimes in order to heal, a few people have to get hurt.”

The H-Bomb:  Mavis Gary (Charlize Theron) is the thirty seven year old author of a series of young adult books that have been falling out of popularity as of late.  In fact, she has been told that the next book will be the last of the series.  This, naturally, has put her life into a kind of tailspin.  Not only has she been having trouble writing anything, but she’s also been drinking like a fish and picking up random guys at bars on a regular basis.

But it‘s not just her alcoholism or her professional problems that have her so hot and bothered, there’s also the e-mail she received from her old high school boyfriend, Buddy (Patrick Wilson), containing a photograph of his newborn daughter.  After stewing over it for a bit, Mavis spontaneously grabs her little dog and a few bags, and hits the road back to her hometown… with the intention of reclaiming her old beau.

This is the first time she’s been back in town in years, and she’s a little alarmed at how the corporate chains have been taking the place over.  They have a Chili’s, a Staples, and even a “KenTacoHut” (those three-in-one places consisting of KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut).  Soon after her arrival, she seeks out a bar and it’s there where she runs into Matt (Patton Oswalt), a pudgy guy she went to high school with, who she remembers as being the “Hate Crime Guy.”  Matt is disabled, for reasons you‘ll have to see the movie to find out, with a rather sour outlook on life.  He and Mavis form a sort-of friendship which consists mainly of boozing and bitterly reminiscing.

Mavis lets slip that she’s in town to try and win Buddy back, and Matt, knowing that Buddy is a married man with a new child, is less than approving of her plan.  But Mavis sees the whole wife and kid thing as merely a minor obstacle that stands between her and Buddy.  When she finally does meet up with her old boyfriend, she finds that he does seem to be perfectly content in his new role as husband and father, but she convinces herself that he can’t possibly be, because he leads an utterly boring life in an utterly boring hick town that “stinks of fish shit.”  Mavis is oh-so-certain that Buddy would be much happier with her, but will she be able to convince him of that?

Young Adult re-unites director Jason Reitman and screenwriter Diablo Cody, the team behind the Academy Award winning Juno.  This time they’re telling a more grown up story about a woman who never really grew up.  It’s a more thematically sophisticated film than Juno, and the stylized, hipster dialogue has, for the most part, been set aside, so the characters speak more naturally and sound like actual human beings.  It’s also far more cynical than Juno, with a sense of humor that has a lot more bite and a lot less charm.

That leads me to my big hang up with Young Adult, the lead character.  Theron is fantastic in the role, make no mistake, this is probably her best performance since her Oscar winning turn in Monster.  My problem is with her character, Mavis, in that she is a complete and total bitch.  She is truly a horrible, reprehensible person.  I am tempted to use the C-word, though I won’t, at least not on the record.  Mavis is an extremely selfish, spiteful woman who truly does not give a good God-damn about anyone else.  She really could not care less if she breaks up Buddy’s family, or how her words and actions might affect the feelings and well being of others.  When she’s not wallowing in her own unwarranted self-pity, she is cruelly putting down and demeaning the people around her.  She is indeed a detestable human being.

Usually, in this kind of film, a character like Mavis would go back to her roots, realize what is wrong with her life, learn a lesson, and emerge a better person.  That doesn’t happen here.  Mavis never learns her lesson, nor does she ever redeem herself at all, and my problem with this is that I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about her.  Or rather, how Reitman and Cody want me to feel about her.  This nagged me the most during her pivotal “poor little me” monologue towards the end.  If Reitman and Cody want me to have nothing but contempt for Mavis, then they succeeded admirably.  If they; however, intended me to feel sympathy for her, in spite of her faults, then they failed miserably.

Another issue I had was that Cody was at times a little too on-the-nose in spelling out some of the themes of the film.  For example, there’s one scene where Matt straight up tells Mavis that she’s basically still just a child trapped in the body of a grown woman, as if Mavis’s actions and self-absorbed attitude, not to mention the fact that she dresses like a teenager, weren’t enough to get that across.  We the audience are capable of connecting the dots ourselves, Diablo, we don’t need you to do it for us.

Okay, so I’ve given Young Adult a pretty rough ride, so why the three and a half star rating?  Because despite all those things, it is still a damn good film.  Even if I don’t like Mavis as a person, she still has a scathing sense of humor, that was often very funny, that made me laugh throughout, and again, Theron just hit it right out of the park.  Oswalt is also excellent as the down-on-his-luck Matt, a guy who has been crapped on so many times throughout his life, that his negative attitude is understandable, and he, unlike Mavis, is sympathetic.  Wilson, meanwhile, plays the friendly, small town nice guy and manages to not make him bland, which is quite a feat in and of itself.

Some people who go into this might be slightly shocked that the sweetness of Juno has been stripped away and in it’s place is a kind of humor that’s mean and pessimistic, but that’s also wickedly funny, provided your sense of humor is the opposite of PC.  If you’re someone who must absolutely like the lead character in order to like a film, then you should probably just skip this one.  But if you have a taste for bitter comedies with a poisonous edge, then Young Adult may be right up your alley.

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The “Signs” are everywhere . . .

I had seen literally no previews for this film, which is the way I like it, so I had no idea what to expect.  There was a bit of a delay getting the movie started, so I was listening to other conversations in the press section, and someone said this film was done by the same team that did Cyrus.  I hated Cyrus, I didn’t even post a review, because I felt like I had wasted enough time and energy, just watching that crap.  Now, I was worried, but my expectations were low – just don’t suck as bad as Cyrus, I thought, and I will be happy.  I was happy, in fact, I felt this film was better than you think it is going to be, but not the best it could be, but still pretty damned good . . . plus, it has Rae Dawn Chong!

It begins with a character, Jeff (Jason Segal), who lives at home with his widowed mother, Sharon (Susan Sarandon) who wants one simple thing from her thirty-something louse of a son . . . go to Home Depot, buy some wood glue and fix the one broken slat on their closet door.  She is hard at work, and wants him to aspire to more than smoking pot and other unmentionable things down in her basement.  Her other son, Pat (Ed Helms) is the quintessential douche bag.  Oh, he has gone places, he is married, has a modest home and a good job, but he is a complete asshole . . . and here Ed Helms steps away from his comfort zone a bit to play a completely unsympathetic character.

His wife, Linda (Judy Greer) just wants their marriage to work, she wants him to communicate, but mostly she just wants the love back.  But, back to Jeff, he has seen Signs more than six times, and is convinced that everything happens for a reason.  I will spare you his synopsis, but Segal delivers the Jeff character in an odd throwback version of the deluded Joaquin Phoenix.  In short, Jeff just REALLY ‘gets’ Signs, he thinks even the film was meant to plot out his own personal destiny.  So, when he gets a wrong number, hang up call from someone looking for Kevin, he decides this is it, this is his moment for destiny.  Did I mention he smokes A LOT of pot?

Now you just get to sit back and watch this adult idiot follow all the signs that lead up to his destiny.  But, as the film progresses, is it really his destiny, or is it his brother’s, or his mother’s?  Or is he just completely stoned off his ass and winds up in Sri Lanka selling souvenir cups to tourists at the duty-free shop?  I’m not spoiling that bit.

Jeff, Who Lives at Home is a nice visit to the theater, it is highly interactive and an enjoyable journey, that actually has a great message whilst seemingly having no message at all.  On a side note, Cyrus was also about a single mother dealing with an odd son – are the brothers Duplass dealing with some angst here?  But, where Cyrus went wrong, was the oomph factor, I kept waiting for it to just get a little bit better, and it never really did.  On the other hand, Jeff, Who Lives at Home has the same pulse throughout, and I found myself constantly chuckling, never laughing so hard it hurt mind you, and when Jeff realizes his destiny at the end, I would have made that scene more intense, but it would have changed the whole feeling of the film.  Go see, this little nothing film, hanging out the week before The Hunger Games, it will get you thinking and the script has enough color to keep you  chuckling to the end.

Oh, and Jeff, don’t get me started on Signs, these aliens travel across the universe to invade a planet COVERED in the one substance that is lethal to them . . . water, I mean, come on alien dudes, do some damned research!

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Review by Alyn Darnay

Directed by: Stephane & David Foenkinos

Cast: Audrey Tautou, François Damiens, Pio Marmaï

So if I wanted to make a lightweight, semi-comic, romantic film and I lived in France, the only actress I’d use is Audrey Tautou. You should remember her as that sweet fey faced beauty from Amélie (2001), The Da Vinci Code (2006), and Coco Before Chanel (2009). That’s exactly what brothers Stephane and David Foenkinos did to turn David’s runaway best selling French novel La Delicatesse into a movie, and as always she makes the film work. Or at least she and French comic star Francois Damiens, Heartbreaker (2010). Without them, I think it would have been a dull trip through the standard romantic universe.

As I understand it, in France there’s a controversy going on about the film. I know, I know, that’s not so unusual, there’s always a controversy going on in France, but this one is over the way the filmmakers approached their conversion from the written page to the screen. They took this beloved novel and “Oh My God” added scenes. (How dare they, even when the screenwriter is the person who wrote the novel.) It got thousands of fans of the book incensed. Not that they hated the film, which they didn’t, they just didn’t want the material played with like that. Besides, this stuff is great for conversation over espresso and a napoleon.

The story goes like this. Ms. Tautou plays Nathalie, a beautiful, happy, and successful Parisian business executive who meets, falls in love with and marries her true soul mate. After several years of blissful marriage, an accident leaves her a widow locked in the depths of despair. She throws herself into her work and for years lives a very solitary life, locking away her emotions, and disregarding everyone’s attempts to change that. Then, one day, for no apparent reason, Nathalie, possessed of a moment of madness kisses her co-worker, the odd Swedish employee Markus (Damiens). He, being the strange creature that he is, immediately falls head over heels in love with her, and begins the first pursuit of a woman in his life. I should say inept pursuit, which against all odds, she begins to warm to. But nobody thinks this romance should happen. Not family, not friends, not co-workers, I suppose not even the homeless guy in the street.

Delicacy comes off as a sweet romantic story about two people who are too scared to let loose their inner demons and love each other. Their relationship runs the gamut from uncomfortable to genuinely loving. It’s different from the run of the mill romances we usually get these days and tugs at your emotions a bit as you watch it. I had some problems with the progression of the story, some things develop too fast while others progress way too slowly, but as I said before, the performances save the whole thing. You should enjoy the film.

Time: 1 Hour 48 Minutes

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Click here for our Trump Hotel sit-down with Jennifer Westfeldt

Friends with Kids is the latest film from Jennifer Westfeldt (Kissing Jessica Stein) which shows the lives of six close friends and how relationships change when children are introduced. Shot with an incredibly comedic cast that doesn’t disappoint – you get the expected laughs galore and more. While the laughs flow freely, there is underlying drama that comes to the surface which adds a new dimension making it more than a typical comedy. The cast does a great job in their roles, and credit deserves to be given to Ms. Westfeldt for writing, producing, starring, and directing Friends with Kids.

Two best friends, Jason (Adam Scott) and Julie (Jennifer Westfeldt), are chatting on the phone with each other late one night. They both live in the same building and have someone lying in bed next to them. This shows us the beginning of what is yet to come. Next we are introduced to their best friends Leslie (Maya Rudolph) and Alex (Chris O’Dowd). After some brief banter, the group is joined by their other best friends, Missy (Kristin Wiig) and Ben (Jon Hamm). The humorous banter comes fast and furious until the group hears a screaming child in the background of a fancy restaurant. Jason and Julie are quick with comments about how bad it is that people subject others to the shrieks, just as Leslie and Alex announce they are expecting.  With comedy and life, timing is everything.

Then we hit the fast forward button four years and now Julie and Jason are talking as they arrive at Leslie and Alex’s apartment. They quickly realize that the friends have changed and they longer share many things in common. Then Missy and Ben arrive with a baby of their own. Dinner is awkward as the friends talk and compares notes. The movie really captures how relationships evolve as singles become couples and then, the ultimate insanity . . . parents.  This leads us to the point where the movie really takes off; Julie and Jason decide to have a baby. When the friends find out about the decision, conversations unfold and it is agreed how this might not be the best decision for Julie and Jason.

Now nine more months pass, and we are in the delivery room as Julie is having the baby. Comedy ensues during the birth scene, and most may not think of child birth being funny, but the characters deliver pinpoint dialogue that brings a humorous note to the whole situation. Many questions arise, will Julie and Jason live to the expectations of failure that their friends have dreaded, or will they live as a happily unmarried couple with a baby? That question is quickly answered as Julie and Jason, much to the surprise of their friends, seem to have their lives together and great ideas of sharing responsibilities.

The friends compare notes again and question the reality of the situation; finally, everything seems to be working, but how long can it last?  We see Jason doing his fatherly duty of taking his son out for the day, when he comes upon an attractive young woman, Mary Jane (Megan Fox). Mary Jane quickly calls Jason out on using his son to garner her attention, and also as a cheap way to attempt to pick a girl up in the park; alas it does work.

Mary Jane and Jason quickly hit it off, but how does Julie feel about this? Julie starts to show, through expressions, that she has developed feelings for Jason. She can’t let him know how she feels, so she enlists Leslie to help her find a new man. Leslie introduces Julie to a man, Kurt (Edward Burns), that she knows from school functions for her oldest child. Julie quickly hits it off with Kurt, as the two share common interests and an attraction for each other as well. This is the beginning of the underlying tension and drama that has been set aside. The way Jason reacts to the news of Julie having a new relationship doesn’t come into question, yet.

It all changes in New Hampshire where the friends annually take a New Year’s Day ski trip. This is where all the drama that has been festering amongst other members begins to surface. Loyalty and love is quickly brought to the table in a scene that makes the viewer quickly forget the comedy that led to this part. Everyone holds their own in this dramatic scene and it really builds nicely with some great acting. In the live-free-or-die state, we see how relationships are built, but over time, relationships also falter.

More questions arise and NOTHING is left hidden amongst the group. As secrets are revealed, the whole group is taken aback, and it seems that they may have lost something they all once shared, a genuine camaraderie.

The movie progresses forward and there are a few twists that add more to the dramatic elements of the film. Really, this movie can be seen as two films in one, a comedy in the first half and drama in the second; but that doesn’t really do the movie justice. You get laughs galore, but there are introspective moments where the viewer has to look inside and question certain things as well. The fast pace and quick cuts in time take away from some of the overall feeling of the movie, just never knowing when something really is happening, and takes away from the fluidity of the story. This is a movie that pulls no punches with the language, but its rated R for a reason! The cast delivers on ALL levels, and it was an enjoyable experience. I suggest not going in expecting to laugh the WHOLE time; you won’t, but enjoy the laughs that the movie will surely give you.

(1 People gave this 1.00 out of 5)

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“Something elusive”

Click here to jump to the Swift’s Notes (AKA Cliff’s Notes) Review!

Swift shot:  In 1977, I was three years old, so there is no way I could have possibly seen Star Wars in theaters . . . but, I did.  I was probably four when my dad took me in his yellow MG convertible, the kind you had to snap shut, and (perish the thought) I sat in the front seat . . . with only a seat-belt to protect me, well, that and my dad.  Funny how we overlook the most important part of child safety, the parent!  Still, we went, and the roads were wet, and the air was kind of musty outside, like after a dog shakes and there is a light fog in the air.  I was really small, and the world was still new and exciting to me, I believed that anything was possible.  After I saw Star Wars, there is no denying this, I wanted to know what made Darth Vader so evil. Even before I saw Empire Strikes Back, I can remember being secretly happy that Vader didn’t die in the final battle in A New Hope.  He was . . . interesting, and I was compelled to know more about him.  Twenty-two years later, I would finally have a third of his legacy revealed.

Stavanger, Norway – the year was 1999; I had just gotten back from Albania, where I was doing Counter-Intel work for NATO where I saw more than I care to admit.  I saw humanity’s inhumanity.  With that backdrop, I was well ready for something to take my mind off of reality and to just be child-like again.

The film was released already in the states, it released in May, and it hit the can in August in Norway.  I had given strict instructions to every single American that I knew to reveal nothing to me . . . on pain of death!  Maybe the tone I took was sufficient, because no one revealed anything.  But, now we have all seen the film, and we are now thirteen years later, where all the questions have been answered . . . and then some.  So, I won’t pretend you haven’t all seen the film, and I will violate my rule of making spoilers verboten.

Let me start my defense of the film thusly.  When I was in high school, it wasn’t cool to like Bon Jovi, or Bon BlowMe as my friends and I all called them, because we were so damned cool.  But, years later I found out that we were all closeted fans, would go home and jam out to them, all while faking the funk back in school.  And, I think, that is what has happened with Phantom Menace.  I think it has become derivative to say you don’t like it, because of one stupid freakin’ Gungan! Ask yourself, honestly, when you saw it in 1999, was it so incredibly bad then?  Or were you sucking at the Lucas teat and waiting for whatever he would squeeze out, teasing you in anticipation of Episode III?  If nothing else, did not the film get your butt into the theater for Attack of the Clones?  I thought as much.

This first film holds a special place in my heart for being the first piece of a greater puzzle to make up arguably the most hated villain in Hollywood . . . Darth Vader.  When we first meet him, Anakin Skywalker is a slave boy who has dreams of grandeur and adventure . . . but he also is incredibly protective of his mother.  Is this fear of loss the thing that will finally make him the sinister lord of the Sith?  Well, you already know the answer, but I didn’t in 1999 – and neither did you!

Starring the incredible [Academy Award Winning] Natalie Portman as Padme/Queen Amidala and casting Ewan McGregor as the legendary Obi-Wan Kenobi was a master-stroke for Lucas.  Liam Neeson, no stranger to audiences now, and back in 1999 had a fair film resume and lots of hungry fans, plays Master Qui-Gon Jinn with Ahmed Best providing some exceptional voice-over work as the oft-derided Gungan Jar Jar Binks.  The pivotal character though, had to be a boy, had to be believable, and had to be someone you cared for in the end.  Jake Lloyd, all of ten years old had to step into some of the biggest, darkest boots Hollywood has ever created.

Could you have done better . . . at ten?  Hell, could you now for that matter?  There was one scene he had to get right . . . and he did!  When Yoda says there is much fear in Anakin, and Lloyd is looking at him with pure malice, that is one of the finer scenes of any young actor.  If he blew that moment, however subtle, it would have ruined the film for me.  That is the essence of Vader, he is an egoist, but he protects those he loves . . . anyone else is just in the way.  In that moment, Lloyd nailed it . . . at ten.  So, put that in your pretentious pipes and suck deep, cynics.

There has a been a lot of talk about Portman not doing a good job, bull, I think the scenes where she was being a queen, she was directed to be regal-sounding or something, and given that a lot of the work was done with a blue-screen, I think she did enough with what she had to work with.  Also, she had to alter her voice etc. to not make it obvious that she was Padme.  I must admit, in 1999, I didn’t know it for sure until she was washing R2-D2, after being (comically) ordered to clean the heroic droid by the “queen.”

Which brings us to the synchronicity quips of so many “critics” – it was “childish” to have C-3PO created by Anakin and to have R2-D2 already introduced in the series.  It was lame to have the force described in an organic, scientific fashion, and why did Lucas feel the need to force racial stereotypes in this film?  Because it is a film . . . it is a series driven by fan admiration, he was going to the candy store, maybe he did it one time too many with making C-3PO’s maker Darth Vader, but I actually thought that was a nice touch.  When he was a ” child” he created a toy, a “childish thing”, but when he becomes a man, that childish thing leads to his destruction.  Impressive.  Good mythology there, don’t ya think?  Or, did you not catch that, because you were too busy hating a certain Gungan?

Also, on to the Gungans . . . did you hate them all, Boss Nass, Captain Tarpals, every last floppy-eared “primitive life form?”  Or was Jar Jar the only Gungan you wanted to kill?  Newsflash, he was supposed to be annoying, he was the comedy-relief, buffoon, hell, even Obi Wan wants to leave him and can’t wait for him to shut up half the time.

All this is why I didn’t hate the film, because this is how I was already dissecting it in 1999, I was intrigued with the story-line, the epic battles, the droids, and then there was this new guy . . . Darth Maul.  When he makes his first appearance, it is one of those great movie moments, and when he engages the second blade on his light-saber, tell me you weren’t four years old again and thinking, “That’s cool!”

What I really liked about his character though, and the fight scenes in particular with him, he doesn’t say anything.  There is no, I am your father, I hate you, I am Sith, your mother is so fat . . . none of that trash-talking.  He just goes right for the kill.  I LOVED THAT, even though the dialogue is what fascinated me about Vader in 1977, in 1999 the lack of dialog had me thinking, woah, that Darth Maul is one bad mutha!

Episode I – The Phantom Menace had rich characters, a compelling plot that sets up the motions to create the Galactic Empire, and a few strikes which can mostly be over-looked to make for an enjoyable time at the theater.  The cinematography, albeit mostly CGI, was state-of-the-art for its time.  The ILM team may have used a softer stroke on the special-effects to create a more raw feel to the film, like they had to do in 1977.  In effect, they got too good, and they show-cased their work to the nth degree.  Still, the overall immersive feeling to transport myself outside of my theater seat was still there.  A few stilted lines delivered by a less than spectacular Samuel Jackson, and one overtly annoying Gungan, weren’t enough to ruin the film.  Telling the first part of the Anakin Skywalker trilogy, where he is but a small boy, the film does a fine job laying out all the pieces that will ultimately lead to his betrayal and his transformation to vile Sith Lord, Darth Vader.

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When married couple Paige (Rachel McAdams) and Leo (Channing Tatum) are in a terrible car accident, Leo is fine except for a few bumps and bruises, but Paige ends up in a coma (she had taken her seat belt off and she went flying through the windshield.  That’s why it’s important to always keep your seat belt fastened!!).  When Paige wakes up from her coma, she has brain injuries that cause amnesia, but she’s forgotten only the past few years of her life.  To put it another way, she’s lost all her memories involving her husband, who is now a stranger to her.

Paige is the love of Leo’s life, and in flashbacks, we get to see the little things that Leo does for Paige that make her fall in love with him.  For example, when she was at work with a cold, he left her a box filled with medicine, tissues, etc, and every object in the box had a Post-It on it with something he had written on it, all to make her feel better.  Or when he wanted Paige to move in with him, he didn’t just ask her, he spelled it out for her, in blueberries!!  What a guy!!  While Paige is recovering, we are taken on a journey through Paige and Leo’s relationship, from when they first met to their rather unconventional wedding (it looked like it was in a museum and they definitely weren’t supposed to be there, since the security guards chased them out).

One day, during Paige’s recovery, Paige’s parents Rita and Bill Thornton (Jessica Lange and Sam Neill) show up.  Leo has never met them, and it turns out that Paige had a falling-out with her family several years ago and hasn’t spoken to them since.  But, her parents see Paige’s memory loss as a way to have their daughter back.  Perfect timing, too, as Paige’s sister Gwen (Jessica McNamee) is about to be married.  Paige ends up moving back in with her family so they can take care of her.  This is not good for Leo and his plan, which is to get Paige to fall in love with him again (since her memory shows no signs of returning).

Unfortunately for Leo, Paige does remember her ex-fiancé Jeremy (Scott Speedman) who’s kind of a jerk (he makes a comment at Gwen’s wedding and Leo punches him in the face for it).  Now, Leo is NOT a violent guy, not at all, but between the stress of his wife’s losing her memories, his trying over and over to win her affection again, and his failing business, who wouldn’t deck a guy who pretty much vowed that he would sleep with your wife??

Will Leo succeed in his mission??  Will Paige regain her memories??  I’m not telling here because that would be spoilers!!   Overall, “The Vow” was definitely a chick flick.  I don’t know of any guys who even want to see this movie, which is fine, because it is totally geared towards women.  I liked it because while it wasn’t totally depressing, it was a little sad but had the right amount of light-heartedness to balance it out.   I wasn’t disappointed with the acting or the story; I thought it flowed well and didn’t drag or have anything unnecessary going on.

Interestingly (to me at least,) “The Vow” was quite similar to the plot of the final episodes of a certain spy-related TV series that just ended last month.  It was similar in that the main female characters had their memories wiped, but only the past few years’ worth, and their husbands had to try to make them fall in love with them all over again.   There have also been comparisons to another Rachel McAdams movie, “The Notebook”, which is a great movie, but “The Vow” is not as sad as that one.

A bit of trivia:  “The Vow” is based on a true story.  At the end of the movie, we get an update on the couple the movie is based on, but I won’t let on if they are a couple . . . or not.  I guess you will just have to find out for yourself.