(2 People gave this 4.00 out of 5)

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Originally released in 1991, “Beauty and the Beast” was the 30th Disney animated film.  It may be over 20 years old now but, like most Disney animated films, it’s timeless.  And hey, this one is a tale as old as time, right??

Belle (Paige O’Hara) lives with her father Maurice (Rex Everhart) in a village in France.  Everyone in their village thinks they are both crazy:  Maurice because he is a crackpot inventor (he’s just a little eccentric!) and Belle because she’s a little odd, and she also enjoys to read.  Gaston (Richard White) is the town brute.  Everyone thinks he’s awesome while in reality he’s really boorish and brainless (as Belle tells him).  Gaston is dead set on marrying Belle, but she wants nothing to do with him.  Belle dreams of adventures and getting away from her village.  She soon gets her wish when her father gets lost on his way to an inventors function and his horse Philippe finds his way back home.  Concerned for her father’s safety, Belle hops on Philippe and he leads her to a castle in the woods.

But this is no normal castle, this castle is magical.  Its residents include a Beast (Robby Benson) and his servants who have been transformed into enchanted objects.  When he was a human prince, the Beast was mean and selfish and he made the wrong person mad, because she happened to be an enchantress who cast a spell upon the prince and his servants, turning the prince into a hideous Beast and his servants into objects such as a candelabra, Lumiere (Jerry Orbach), a clock, Cogsworth (David Ogden Stiers), a teapot, Mrs. Potts (Angela Lansbury), and a teacup, Chip (Bradley Pierce), to name a few.  The prince and his crew were doomed to remain in their new appearances forever, unless someone falls in love with the Beast.

Easier said than done, as the Beast has a bit of a temper problem.  He pretty much kidnapped Maurice and said he would keep him forever (because he trespassed in his castle, but only to escape a pack of wolves and rain), until Belle offers to take his place as the Beast’s prisoner.   The enchanted objects are hopeful that Belle may be the one to break the spell, but to get Belle to fall in love with the Beast is a near impossible task.

The soundtrack to “Beauty and the Beast” features the fantastic songs “Belle”, “Gaston”, “Be Our Guest”, “Something There”, “Beauty and the Beast”, and “The Mob Song”.  Each number is exciting and fun and definitely makes you want to sing along!!

While I’m not a huge fan of 3D in movie theaters (I feel that it belongs in theme parks), I have to mention that the 3D version of “Beauty and the Beast” looked amazing.  It added depth and richness to the scenes in the forest.  It made an already fantastic movie even better.  Also of note, this version of the movie does not include the song “Human Again” which was featured on the Platinum Edition DVD release that came out in 2002.

Trivia:  I did some research and although it’s never mentioned in the movie, according to imdb, it was revealed on a Disney CD-Rom game that the price’s human name is Adam.  So now you know!!

One thing that always puzzled me:  In the prologue, it states that the enchantress cast the spell and gave him a rose that would bloom until his 21st year.  However in the song “Be Our Guest”, the enchanted objects state that they’ve been in their current non-human state for ten years.  So was the prince 11 when the enchantress cast the spell on him?  If so, he looked awful grown for 11 years old!!  And, where were his parents??  Is this an error or am I missing something??

Before the movie, there is a short called “Tangled Ever After”, which continues the story of Rapunzel and Flynn Rider (Mandy Moore and the totally awesome Zachary Levi).   I won’t spoil the plot but I will say that Maximus the horse and Pascal the chameleon totally steal the show!!  It was a nice continuation of the “Tangled” story.  Unfortunately, I did not notice if Rapunzel was wearing shoes this time.

It’s a two for one special you just can’t miss!!

(Give us your rating!!)

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“The secret is always in the clockwork.”

The H-Bomb:  After his father’s untimely death, 12 year-old Hugo Cabret (Asa Butterfield) is taken in by his uncle (Ray Winstone), who maintains the clocks at a train station in post-World War I Paris.  The uncle is a notorious drunk and disappears before long, leaving Hugo alone to take care of the clocks himself.  Although, Hugo is not entirely alone, as he has a child-sized mechanical automaton that his father found to keep him company.  It appears as though the automaton was designed to write, but since its heart shaped key is missing, Hugo has never been able to turn it on.

Since Hugo lives and works behind the walls of the station, nobody actually knows that he’s the one running the clocks, so he is forced to steal food from the station vendors in order to survive.  He has also been taking mechanical toys from a toy booth and using their parts to try and repair the automaton.  One day, he is caught by the owner of the toy booth, Georges (Ben Kingsley).  When Georges makes Hugo turn out his pockets, he finds a notebook with schematic drawings of the automaton inside it.  He confiscates the notebook and tells Hugo that he’s going to burn it, but not simply out of punishment, as the drawings of the automaton seem to actually mean something to Georges.

Shortly after, Hugo follows Georges home and meets his goddaughter, Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz).  They become fast friends and she agrees to help him get the notebook back.  In doing so, they learn something incredible about Georges.  Something about his past…  before he was a toy booth vendor.  And that’s about all I can say about the plot, since discovering the story with our young heroes is the best way to experience it.

“Hugo” is a Martin Scorsese picture.  But, it is a different kind of Martin Scorsese picture.  There’s no Joe Pesci popping some guy’s eye out with a vice, no Mohawked Robert DeNiro blowing a dude’s hand to pieces with a .44 Magnum.  This is a Martin Scorsese family picture.  I had no idea such a thing existed, but alas, here it is, and it is an absolute fucking masterpiece.  Sorry for dropping the F-bomb in a family film review, but it’s the only way to get my feelings fully across– this review’s for the parents, anyway, not the kiddies.

Normally, I hate family films.  I truly despise them.  They bore me with their blandness and insult me with their stupidity.  But this is one family film that is neither bland nor stupid.  Instead, it’s gorgeous, thematically rich, and just absolutely fantastic in every way imaginable.  As we come to find, it’s a movie about movies, Scorsese’s love letter to the films of the past, and he made it using all the technology of today to deliver an experience that’s both moving and wholly cinematic.  He’s considered one of the greatest directors to have ever lived for a reason, and here, he pulls out all the stops.

As one character puts it, movies are the place where dreams are made, and with a heightened visual style that’s reminiscent of Tim Burton, except with more heart and charm, Scorsese turns all of Paris into a giant dream place. The 3D visuals really pop off the screen and hit like a rocket to the eye socket.  The dazzling opening shot, starting on the cityscape of Paris and going into the grimy bowels of the train station, is a stunning blend of CG and live action melded together seamlessly.  Scorsese shows us the Lumiere Brothers’ “Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat”, the film that made the audience think the train was going to come off the screen and run them over (those poor, dumb primates), and then later on puts his own incredible twist on it.

Scorsese has never made a 3D movie before, but you sure could’ve fooled me, because he uses it in a way that’s not distracting, or a gimmick, but in a way that really immerses us in the story and makes us feel like we’re right there with the characters.  The actors really shine in their close ups, and there were so many times when I felt like I could’ve reached out and touched them.

Speaking of the actors, they are yet another major reason this film works as well as it does.  The entire cast is on top of their game and they each play their roles, large and small, to perfection.  Butterfield, who looked to me like a child version of Cillian Murphy, I’ve never seen before, but he sure made me into a fan with his performance here.  He’s equal parts mischievous, vulnerable, and endearing.  Carrying a film of this size is a lot to ask of a child actor, but he makes it look so damn easy.  He’s matched by Moretz, who is absolutely kick-ass as the girl who holds the key to one of the film’s main secrets.  She’s got a big career ahead of her, no doubt about it.

Among the veterans in the cast, Kingsley is first rate as the proud-yet-heartbroken Georges.  He has the look of a man with a painful past, who has given up on dreaming, and I see some award nods in his future.  Winstone, unfortunately, is in and out of the picture before you really get a chance to notice him, which is too bad, since his colorful lush of a character had potential.  Sacha Baron Cohen, who plays the train station cop with a mean Doberman, a gimp leg, and a child-sized jail cell, provides the expected comic relief with his bumbling antics.  I expected to truly dislike him, but honestly, I didn’t.  He manages to be funny without being too over-the-top or out of place.

In fact, I can’t think of anything to really gripe about.  I could whine about the length, as it does go over two hours, but it doesn’t feel too long.  The 3D glasses did give me a bit of a headache, but that’s my problem.  All things considered, “Hugo” is wonderful on every level; the terrific script, the superb performances, the amazing cinematography (by the great Robert Richardson), and, of course, Scorsese’s masterful direction.  I would rate this up there alongside “Goodfellas” and “Raging Bull” as being one of his finest.

It’s a film for young and old, and everyone in between.  For film buffs, especially those with an affinity for the dawn of cinema, “Hugo” will be a huge treat.  Never mind the lame vampire soap operas, the dancing penguins, the talking animal puppets (as much as I love them), and all that other nonsense, “Hugo” is true cinematic magic and pretty much perfect.  It’s certainly my favorite film of the year, I even put it over “Super 8″.  If you only get out to see one film this Holiday Season, do make it this one.

(1 People gave this 5.00 out of 5)

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I had heard of Live Action Role Play or LARPing before, and I even had a little experience playing table games; but when I heard the whole film was essentially constructed around LARP, I was somewhat intrigued. . . but also a tad skeptical. I figured I should give anything a try once, especially an independent film, and I had the opportunity to screen this movie at Wizard World Chicago Comic Con this year; I was NOT disappointed!

“Unicorn City” starts off with a group of people who get together to play a table game, think Dungeons and Dragons, and the film-makers do a great job showing how tedious these games can be. The main character is Voss (Devin McGinn), and he has trouble following the rules laid forth by Shadow Hawk (Jon “Kick Him in the Nards” Gries). Shadow Hawk likes to constantly control the outcome of the table games, and he keeps people in check with outlandish rules he puts in place. Voss, in an attempt to help his brother Clancy (Matt Mattson), loses his cool and brings some rather unwanted tension to the table group. This is the first of many humorous parts in the film, and come on, who hasn’t felt like unloading on someone in public? Though Voss has his faults, he still has an admirer in a certain lady, Marsha (Jaclyn Hales). Voss seems to have interest in Marsha, but soon she’s taking things with a fellow, on-line, gamer to a new level.

Voss needs to figure out a new plan in life, an upcoming job interview seems to be the best way; but when a person is down it seems that is when decides to deliver more troubles. At the next gathering of the group, Voss takes it upon himself to challenge the leadership of Shadow Hawk. Comedy ensues as Voss attempts to take over the group from the clutches of his nemesis. Voss’ future with the group hinges on a roll of the dice; I will just say the reaction of Shadow Hawk was pure comedy. Voss being upset about losing his dream job and his swift exile from the table group is bad enough, right? But, this is when we meet Voss’ older brother Jeff (Kevin Weisman). Jeff is training in MMA and works at a taco stand. Jeff seemingly enjoys picking on Voss and Clancy, and it is rather enjoyable for the audience as well.

Voss has his hopes up when Marsha invites him over for some breakfast. The breakfast scene has some VERY enjoyable sight gags, and also builds the story to the next level. Voss has a plan to land his dream job; Marsha calls Pat (Steve Berg) and his girlfriend Angie (Missy Hill) to meet at a remote location. Voss calls on his pal Rhubarb (Clint Vanderlinden) to join them all. The conversation between Voss and Rhubarb is a classic play on words, and the laughs become so loud that you might miss out on some more humor. This is where the humor really takes over, and let the LARPing BEGIN!!!

Voss declares an edict, that henceforth their table characters will now become flesh and bone, they will each portray their characters in real life.  The momentum picks up, as do the laughs to a complete boiling point when the music starts to swell and we see in the distance a man dressed as a centaur, it is Rhubarb! The theater absolutely EXPLODED with applause and laughter. This is something you don’t get to really see in a movie anymore; people so excited that emotion takes over and applause sets in, and I LOVED it too!  Rhubarb isn’t your standard centaur though, you’ll have to see what I mean in theaters.

Our characters are now set, and the plot is being developed, but what could stop this merry band of LARPers from enjoying their time together? Well, Shadow Hawk found out about what Voss has created and is determined to foil his plans of segregating the group and usurping his hold on them. This is where the story moves into overdrive and time flies because we were all having so much fun. We have the set up and the premise, but what happens in the end? You’ll need to go to Unicorn City and request the movie come to your area for release to find out sooner than later!

Now some of our readers may be wondering why I gave “Unicorn City” 5 stars, or what makes this film worthy of such high marks? I have found that Independent Film offers something missing from “Blockbusters” that we are generally drawn to see, and “Unicorn City” is a movie that delivers on all levels. It has a genuine spirit and heart that translates well to the audience, regardless of their background or personal experiences – it unified the audience in a way I haven’t seen in a long time. “Unicorn City” has great character development, humor through both sight gags and comedic timing and delivery, acting that delivers on all fronts, and also leaves the audience wanting MORE . . . MUCH MORE!  This film brought me back to my childhood when going to the movies was a treat and an escape; it’s a movie that leaves an impression on everyone who views it. I wish more films could bring audiences closer together and take people back to the days where going to the movies was fun and offered something for all audiences; fortunately, “Unicorn City” does just that.  So, at least there will be one out there soon – if you are lucky enough to demand it in your area.

Again, I had my reservations about this movie when I first heard about it, but those were quickly dashed after the first few minutes. “Unicorn City” has something for everyone, and even if you don’t know what LARP or table games are, you will still enjoy the story and the characters.  I LOVED the whole package, especially the heart the movie offered the audience. If you want an escape from the doldrums of everyday life, “Unicorn City” is your destination!

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2 (screen-play written by Steve Kloves, novel by JK Rowling) Directed by David Yates, had to be one of the most…awaited experiences for me of all time.  I started with the “Pottah” franchise way back in my high school years. At that point, at around 17 years of age, I was way late to jumping in on the franchise. I got involved when the fifth book, The Order of the Phoenix, was released.

Ever since the moment that my eyes made contact with the first curve in the “c” of “chapter 1” I was wrapped up in a magical wizarding world where the most complex things were just…simplified. It snatched my consciousness from the first book through the last.  I literally read the first five in one sitting. Not because I was on a time limit of any sort but because the author’s story telling is simplistic yet so immersive.

Unfortunately, some of the previous films, purely in my opinion, did not live up to their written counter parts.  Well I am not here to discuss any kind of novel written by JK Rowling. I screened the FINAL installment in a franchise that consumed my younger years, and that I have followed closely since the beginning…The Harry Potter films.

We are quickly brought to the final moments of the previous films. Voldemort is anxiously approaching Dumbledore’s grave, a strange lust sewed onto his face. He grabs the fragile wand from Dumbledore’s stiff hands, raising it in the air forming an immense blast of a blinding white light. It seems Voldemort has finally got his hand on one of the deathly hallows, though I don’t think he is interested in the other two.

After that little glimpse we are taken to the safety zone Dobby took Harry and other prisoners of Malfoy Manor; Bill and Fleur’s Seaside Cottage. This Seaside cottage, in the books, was actually a place often visited by Lord Voldemort in the past but that is literally, just history locked within the books. Also, just in case you feel you get the whole experience from just watching the films, please understand that there is a giant history of both Voldemort and Dumbledore that they very much avoid elaborating on in the films.

The relationship between Grindelwald and Dumbledore is one idea they had not enough focus on. Also, the books dive deeper into Voldemort’s past. We get introduced to his magical mother and charmed/charming father. We see his growth from a muggle orphanage after he is forced from his family, to the evil entity he is now. Not to mention we learn how he obtains the knowledge of horcruxes and why he chose specific items to be horcruxes. Not to mention that each horcrux was made through a separate murder. For more information on the history and background of your favorite harry potter characters, check out harrypotter.wikia.com.

The transition between part one and two is seamless, creating the effect that you just forgot to finish part one.   I would say about 10 minutes into the film, business starts being handled by both the protagonist and antagonist. You see our hero and villain both slowly, but steadily, climb their respective ladders of power to gain an advantage over the other. Anything beyond that leaking from my mouth will be considered a spoiler, and I don’t want to be silenced by You-Know-Who (Swift in this case ;]).

The chemistry between our three heroes still resonates the same with the audience as it did during The Philosophers Stone, except now, they are older and have more advanced thoughts, relationships, and social ideas.   There is not much different in terms of acting or actors. You meet a few new people but no story changers or anything of the sort.

I noticed almost instantly the “air” of the film has changed, we no longer hear whimsical melodies with high pitched notes conveying youth and intrigue and that sense of awe the harry Potter series originally delivered. Now it has all been washed out to resemble the grim future. The music is a slow drone, and any bright colors were replaced with deep blues, greens, and browns. The production crew used color and music to set the tone in an otherwise familiar, common world.

We have been inhabiting the world of Harry Potter for years, so having that sort of veil being pasted on everything nearly blows your mind after experiencing the afore mentioned feelings of joy and naivety.  If you are going in expecting to see the book play to life, you will be pleasantly surprised at the outcome; so much so that I will go as far as saying that if you have read the book, it is physically impossible for you to have this movie spoiled for you. Everything happens as it should and even in the right chronological order.  

You see the growth of these characters as they are faced with the most difficult decisions in their lives really polishing what has been a stretch of time, realistically these seventeen year old we see on screen are well into their twenties by now so, the movie could not have been made at a more perfect time.

Visually, The Deathly Hallows was an electric masterpiece. Not sure how to say so otherwise. The Dementors look stunning, and hovering eerily in the third dimension, they are almost too close for comfort. The dry worn texture of their cloaks waving in the wind and other tiny details made it apparent this film held nothing back what so ever.

Forget anything like Aloha Mora or Wingardium Leviosa.   Spells have moved on from being just handy to being necessary tools and weapons of destruction.

We see several different spells, obviously reserved for extreme situations due to their sheer magnitude. I mean, they literally fucking huge.  Just as one example, IN THE TRAILERS they show the Hogwarts “Army” enveloping the school with a giant bubble of a barrier, in an attempt to slow down the coming onslaught by Voldemort’s dark army.  The battle is extremely epic taking up most of the movie. Seeing the hexes fly back and forth in the masses of bodies fighting was an interesting sight to see.

There was an awe of a firework show happening, seeing colors fly and zip through the air in such a  fantastic fashion is exhilarating, especially with the end of a long ass saga looming in the near distance.

With that said, I just have a special message for my fellow Book fanatics. It ends the same way as it does in the book. Yes, that entire scene is shown and you do see everyone as it should be shown. EXCITING RIGHT!? For those who haven’t read the book, be prepared for the perfect ending of a saga that has engraved itself into your hearts over the ages.  Please don’t confuse this as some kind of kid’s movie pushing the boundaries of maturity. The body count rises and it does so very fast so be aware of that before you go traumatizing your younger ones! Any age though, with the right mindset and timing would definitely enjoy this movie. Everyone better be at the midnight showing, they are giving out limited edition POTTER 3D glasses!!

What can I say? It was… SUPER!!!

The H-Bomb: A group of small town kids in the late 70’s are filming a scene for a movie late one night, when they witness a pick-up truck collide head on with a train, resulting in, as I’m sure you can imagine, one massive, nasty ass wreck. Upon inspecting the carnage, they discover hundreds of white, metallic rubix cube looking things that were amongst the train’s cargo. They also find that the driver of the pick-up is their middle school biology teacher, who improbably survived the crash (this movie has many virtues, realism is not one of them). He ominously warns them to leave and to not discuss what they saw that night, even to their parents.

The kids then make a hasty split from the crash site just as the military descends upon it, but not before grabbing the Super 8 camera which had been filming the entire time. The military, as sinister and secretive as they always are, lock down the crash site and arouse suspicions amongst the townsfolk. In the following days, some really strange shit starts to happen around town; the power goes out, pets disappear, people disappear, car engines and electric appliances of all varieties have gone missing, encrypted broadcasts are heard over the airwaves, and a strange creature has been causing damage… the kind of damage that no one could sensibly blame on some wild dog.

Please excuse my giddiness. I’ll try my best to contain it, but… wow! Just fucking wow! What we have here is the kind of movie that‘s as rare these days as a funny episode of “The Simpsons“, an event picture that has a helluva lot more to offer than action and effects. Yeah, there’s plenty of both to be found, but on top of all that there’s also intelligence, humor, credible, endearing characters, genuine emotion, and heart. “Super 8” is much more than a movie, it’s an experience. And as Swift put it, it’s one that really must be seen in a theater to get that full experience. By trying to experience it in any other way, you would only be doing yourself a grave, disgusting, unforgivable disservice.

I don’t think the words exist to adequately describe how watching this made me feel, or how much I absolutely fucking loved it. I mean, damn, I went into this with moderate expectations, and was therefore totally unprepared for what this movie did to me. Watching it, I felt like a kid again, like I was on one of those great Universal theme park rides… and I mean that in the best way possible. I was zapped back to a kind of magical space and time… yeah.

Now I’m gonna steer away from plot specifics here, because this is a film that is best experienced knowing as little about it as possible. In fact, don’t read any reviews (except the ones found here) before seeing it. By design, we the audience are meant to go through the story the way the characters do, as a great big mystery where things are gradually revealed, and each revelation is a big deal. What’s happening in this town? What is this creature that we only get brief, blurry glimpses of? What does it want? What is the purpose of the white, Rubik’s Cube things?

“Super 8” is a movie that’s more or less cobbled together from many, many movies of the past, including, most noticeably, a number of movies made by the producer of this film, Steven Spielberg. There are echoes of “The Goonies”, “E.T.”, “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”, to name a few. This is the kind of movie Spielberg would have made before he went all serious on us in the mid-90’s, with the boyish camaraderie and the sense of wonder and adventure. The film also includes elements from more recent Sci-Fi monster movies like “Cloverfield” and “District 9”, though this one is far superior to both of those.

Normally, this is something I would hold against a film, but writer/director J.J. Abrams makes it work so wonderfully, so absolutely pitch perfectly, that not only do I not hold it against him, I fucking applaud him for it. It’s another way in which the film took me back to my childhood. Some people may take pause over the fact that there’s so much Spielberg homaging in this thing, but I assure you, it takes the very best elements of Spielberg’s work and leaves out the weaker aspects associated with him, such as over-sentimentally and over-length.

With a title like “Super 8”, I was afraid that this was gonna go that bullshit faux-documentary route that’s really getting fuckin’ old by now, but it doesn’t. Abrams directs the film, even the action, in a smooth, composed, non-shaky cam way that again harkens back to the pre-”Private Ryan” Spielberg. The action itself is especially impressive, where we practically feel the bangs, and booms, and crunches, as if we were actually there. That’s what I meant when I said it reminded me of the Universal rides, it made me feel like I was right smack in the middle of it all. The fact that this flick was only made for $45 million, peanuts by summer blockbuster standards, makes it all the more astonishing.

But this film is not all about bangs and booms. In fact, Abrams has the pyrotechnics completely take a back seat to the characters and their story. Our protagonist is Joe (Joel Courtney), a kid of about 13 or 14, who has been going through a lot of shit. He’s coping with the recent death of his mother. His Deputy Sheriff father (Kyle Chandler) wants to send him to baseball camp for the summer, while Joe really wants to stay and help his best friend finish his movie. He’s developed feelings for local girl Alice (Elle Fanning), while both of their fathers want to keep them apart, for reasons later revealed. All the while, Joe has taken it upon himself to get to the bottom of all the weird shit that’s happening in town. There, that is all I will say about the plot, I promise.

All the young actors were very impressive in their roles, especially Courtney and Fanning. I got a real sense of the characters’ relationships with each other; the believable bond between the boys, the interactions between the kids and parents, it all rang very true and I think is an even stronger asset to the film than the many moments of spectacle. Abrams struck just the right balance between character development and the overall Sci-Fi mystery plot, which is quite a compliment as I can’t really say that about too many other movies. As a director, he showed considerable improvement between “Mission: Impossible III” and “Star Trek”, and now, after seeing… no, experiencing this movie, I am a full blown fan of his. Whatever he does next, I will be there.

Unlike my only other 5 star rated film, “Black Swan”, this is one that I can comfortably recommend to everyone. Man, woman, boy, girl, young, old… everyone. In fact, I demand people see it. For anyone who loves science fiction, this is a must see. For anyone who loves disaster movies, this is a must see. For anyone who grew up on Spielberg films, this is a must see. For fans of film in general, this is a definite, undeniable must see.  There is no waiting for DVD allowed with this one. “Super 8” demands to be seen on the big fuckin’ screen. Period.

P.S.- This is not the first time Abrams tipped his hat to Spielberg. Way back in the day, he co-wrote a little flick called “Joy Ride”, which pretty much owes its existence to “Duel”.

It’s in Rio, but there aint no dancing parrots! – Swift

Oh great….another installment in the “Fast and the Furious” series.  More street racing, more scantily-clad women, more fast cars and more meat-head guys right??  Wrong!!  This is number five and probably the second best film in the series (after the original).  I thought the franchise was tired and done, but I was pleasantly surprised with “Fast Five”.

At the end of “Fast and Furious” (part four), Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) is headed to jail.  Suddenly, cars zoom up to the prison bus and the film ends.  Fast forward to the beginning of part five.  Here comes former cop Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker, who has come a long, long way from 1998′s “Meet the Deedles”) and Mia Toretto (Jordana Brewster) to break him out of custody.  Once Dom is free, they head to Rio de Janeiro, where they meet up with their old friend Vinnie (Matt Schulze – “The Fast and the Furious”).  Vinnie convinces them to help him with a job – stealing fancy, fast cars from a corrupt businessman Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida)  (who also pretty much rules Rio de Janeiro).  Needless to say, the job goes terribly wrong and Dom, Brian, and Mia are now really, really wanted criminals. Enter federal agent Luke Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) who always finds who he is looking for.  He enlists the assistance of local cop Elena (Elsa Pataky) to track down the fugitives.

With nowhere to go, and wanted by both the feds and Reyes, they decide to pull one last job to guarantee their freedom – steal $100 million dollars from Reyes.  But they can’t do it alone, so they assemble a team of experts, comprised of characters from the previous installments, including Roman (Tyrese Gibson – “2 Fast 2 Furious”), Tej (Chris “Ludacris” Bridges – “2 Fast 2 Furious”, Han (Sung Kang – “The Fast and the Furious:  Tokyo Drift” and “Fast and Furious”), and Gisele (Gal Gadot – “Fast and Furious).

“Fast Five” was like “Ocean’s Eleven” on speed.  The theatre was packed, and everyone was really into the movie.  And who wouldn’t be, with nonstop action, fast cars, high-speed thrills, crazy stunts, and…wait for it…a fantastic fight scene between Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson (I’ve waited so long for this one!!) . Don’t leave when the credits begin because there is an interesting scene that may possibly be a lead-in to a sixth installment.  As for what is revealed, it’s a doozy!!  If you’re a fan of the series you will not be disappointed with “Fast Five”!

“Retreat, Hell!”

Swift shot: What can I say, I was once an active duty member of the Few and the Proud, and make no mistake, this movie was a Hard Core Hallmark Card to the United States Marine Corps!  If you don’t enjoy it, tell it to Chesty Puller!  This sci-fi-action-thriller, scratch that, this war movie is all about the unit-level experience on the ground fighting off an invading force.  The fact there are aliens is an after thought, this could be just about any invading force we may find ourselves contending with . . . so, take notes young Teufelhunden, learn from the mistakes, admire the fight in the heart of all the Marines and TSgt Elena Santos (USAF) as they battle from block to block, struggling to save the City of Angels and perhaps the entire planet.

[Adjust your windage here to check out my interview with a few of the actors in South Beach]

This film was all about action, very little exposition, by design (which you can hear Michelle Rodriguez explain in the interview) and delivery was intense, street to street fighting with a superior enemy – yet, the Marines of the 2/5 adapted and overcame to locate, close with, and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver . . . and some damned fine ingenuity albeit with dramatic sacrifices.  But, do they manage to do enough?

The film opens with Aaron Eckhart, in PT gear, running on the beach, getting the dreaded “Good Morning, Staff Sergeant,” as his young bucks repeatedly lap him, which being a former young buck was the best revenge for an SNCO that really pissed you off the day before.  Granted, he could always play “games” later, but I am getting ahead of myself – you folks aren’t all Marines, so let me adjust a few clicks to the left.

Eckhart plays a twenty-year Staff Sergeant, which immediately triggered the, uh oh, he’s been in trouble, response in my mind, because very few Marines get out at 20 years as a Staff Sergeant unless they got themselves into some sort of trouble (usually political).  It isn’t immediately clear that his character, Staff Sergeant Nance is a bad Marine, in fact, on the day of the invasion, he has already signed his paper work and is officially out of the Corps when the shit really hits the beach.  But, we soon find out why he isn’t the most admired leader.

Leadership in the Marines is key, and while a combat hardened veteran, like Nance, would be the logical choice to lead, rank is there for a reason.  Enter Second Lieutenant William Martinez (Ramon Rodriguez), fresh out of Officer Candidate School (OCS) and determined to make an impression on his new Marines.  His normal Staff Non-Commissioned Officer (SNCO) is out of commission, so he is stuck with SSgt Nance once the invasion of Earth is on.  Remember, Nance is officially a civilian at this point.

I really want to write pages and pages about each character, because to me, they were all important, but there were a few stand-out players, namely Corporal Lee Imlay (Will Rothhaar), who was the essence of a hard-charging Marine bad-ass, delivering all manner of high explosives and rounds down range for the enemy to contend with.  To him, and to the other Marines of the 2/5, this new enemy is just some other thing to kill, figure out how to kill them and get it done.  There is one incredibly graphic and gut-wrenching scene where an alien is vivisected for this very reason.

I can’t recall many moments of the overall doom and dread that was befalling the planet, each Soldier, Airman, Sailor, and Marine was focused on one thing throughout, accomplish the mission.  And, here is where I had to suspend disbelief quite a bit.  Los Angeles is essentially completely evacuated in less than 24 hours, save for a few stragglers here and there.  I call B.S., because as anyone knows who has to run evacuations . . . no one wants to leave.  Still, I went with it.  The Marines are in a small fire-team, essentially a squad sized unit (if memory serves) and are ordered to retrieve a few known civilians who are holed up in one of the LA police stations.

It is there we meet Joe Rincon (Michael Pena) and Michelle (Bridget Moynahan) who both have children with them, Joe has his son, and poor Michelle has her niece who she only sees occasionally, visiting Los Angeles.  Talk about lousy timing, kid!  The battles that take place just to get to the police station are amazingly intense, and while you may find yourself frustrated with only catching glimpses of the enemy, mere flashes really, that too was by design.  You are mired in the unknown, just like the fire-team, essentially, perpetually in a “what the hell was that?” agitated state of alertness.

The film has a video-game feel to it, where you are immersed in phases of battles gaining in intensity, weaponry, and difficulty.  I hate to say this, but it is what it is, the Marines are increasingly faced with new intellectual and tactical challenges.  Once they meet up with TSgt Elena Santos (Michelle Rodriguez) they even gain more intel as she has been tracking what she believes to be a Command and Control asset.  The Marines have one mission really, get the civilians from the police station to their Forward Operating Base (FOB), and they have less than three hours, because heavy air ordinance is going to be delivered to level the city.

There is some really great behind the scenes stuff in my interview, again, link provided above.  Ultimately, I agree with each of the actors, the aliens were well done, they weren’t corny, they weren’t too soft and they, more importantly, were not over the top.  In a movie laden with CGI, it is tempting to go all out, but this film was impeccable in the authentic feel of the action.  To quote Michelle Rodriguez, “you can tag the experience or you can tell a story.”  Battle: Los Angeles tags the experience and puts you on the ground with the grunts.

I only have one criticism, and that was at the very end of the film, which obviously I am not going to give away here.  If you want a bad-ass, first-person style war-shooter, you can’t go wrong, but in the end, this film was meant for Marines, if you find yourself enjoying it too, great, if not . . . pound sand, because we don’t care!  And to my Marine friends, if you don’t add this to your must own Blu Ray collection, maybe you need to report to Captain Lloyd W. Williams!

Limacher Low Down: The King’s Speech has been garnishing critical acclaim and harvested the most Oscar Nominations this year, and I understand why. I went into the theater with no prior knowledge of the story outside of what I had seen in the previews. The movie does a great job of telling a short history of King George VI and the importance of his fateful speech for which the film is named.  The acting was some of the finest I have seen in quite some time, and the story was conveyed well. Everything combined made “The King’s Speech” more than just a typical movie, it made it something which needed to be seen.

“The King’s Speech” starts off with the largest public address (at the time) being presided over by the Duke of York- Albert Fredrick Arthur George (Collin Firth). The speech is rather forgettable as Albert stammers throughout. Soon after the address is given Albert’s wife, Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter), seeks someone best suited to help her husband’s specific need. Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) is the man whose rather unorthodox practices are recommended to Elizabeth.  After a brief meeting, Elizabeth agrees to have him meet her husband, the Duke of York, but Lionel insists the meeting be on his terms, not the Duke’s.

Albert and Lionel’s initial meeting, put in modern perspective, was about as cordial as Beck and Pelosi sharing a Chardonnay. Albert storms out not believing in Lionel and is content in the knowledge he will be stammering the rest of his life. Albert soon comes to terms with Lionel’s methods and decides to return in an attempt to correct his problem. Lionel uses his unorthodox methods to better correct the speech problems that have hindered Albert most of his life. Albert tells of family and history with his stammer which really comes across well to the audience.

King George V (Michael Gambon) attempts to help Albert after delivering his Christmas Day speech – much to no avail. Albert’s brother, Edward (Guy Pearce), is the Prince of Wales and heir apparent to the crown. King George and Albert briefly talk of Edward and his relationship and the troubles it may cause. Quickly the King has fallen ill and unfortunately meets his demise, thus King Edward VIII is announced.  Albert takes the news rather well, and is happy to know that he will not have to speak for the people as long as his brother wears the Crown.

Albert continues his work with Lionel in his attempt to correct his stammer as a way of being taken seriously. Around this point in the movie I was wondering to myself, “Why the Eff-Yu-Sea-Kay was this movie rated R?” Shortly after this thought entered my head, the question was quickly answered in a scene that would make our loyal readers proud! This leads us to problems that King George V and Albert had alluded to earlier. King Edward VIII can no longer be King – so Albert has to bear this news and also has to deal with the heavy pressure of the People of Germany dealing with a little Austrian pain in the ass, named Adolf.

Albert continues to seek the services of Lionel to best prepare for his future speaking engagements. Albert, now King George VI and his family, in the midst of watching their coronation ceremony on film, have a moment of clarity as this media also opens them to the growing power that Adolf Hitler now has in Germany. Shortly after it is announced that England has attempted to resolve a compromise with Germany to stop the invasion of Poland, the British demands are not met. England declares War on Germany, and it is now  up to the King to address his people to prepare them for a dark decade with much anticipated agony.  This leads to the speech that will forever be ingrained in the History of Great Britain.

The film moves quickly, and it feels less like a period piece than most would expect. The acting was excellent, and the piece deserves the praise it has been receiving. There are no weak moments – Collin Firth gives a very memorable performance. The King’s Speech  blends comedy, drama, and history in a way that deserves to be commended. If you enjoy history, good acting, or just want to see what everyone seems to be raving about; it is worth the two hours of your time and ticket price to see “The King’s Speech”.

More disturbing images and behind the scenes stuff, here.

The H-Bomb: For New York ballet dancer Nina Sayers (Natalie Portman), it seemed like a dream come true. The Company’s aging star (Winona Ryder) is being pushed into retirement, and the director Thomas Leroy (Vincent Cassel) has just cast her in the lead for his production of “Swan Lake”. It’s everything that Nina has worked and trained and lived for. It’s everything she could ever wish for… but everything comes at a price.

Soon, the pressures of being “the star” start to take their toll on Nina. She’s bitterly envied by the other dancers in the company (back stage cattiness, never gets old). Her half-crazed, over bearing stage mother (Barbara Hershey) is constantly breathing down her neck to succeed where she failed. The director Thomas, while he believes she’s perfect as the White Swan, he has his doubts that Nina can pull off the role of the treacherous Black Swan. He keeps telling her that she’s too frigid and reserved, that she needs to loosen up and “let go” (he suggests that masturbation would help).

With all this, Nina starts to crack, both physically and (especially) mentally. She sees and hears things that aren’t necessarily there. She practices her dance moves so hard she starts to injure herself. A strange rash appears on her back shoulder blade. Her skin seems to break easily. And then along comes Lily (Mila Kunis). Freshly arrived from San Francisco, Lily is everything that Nina is not; brash, assertive, self confident, and sexually aggressive. Lily also looks a lot like Nina, so much so that they could be sisters… even twins. Two sides, same coin.

Even though Lily approaches her as a friend, Nina senses that she’s really out to undermine her and take Nina’s spot in the ballet. Could this rivalry (that may or may not be real) be what finally pushes Nina over the edge into madness?

Dear readers of iRATEfilms, you are witnessing a crucial, truly historic moment in this site’s history… not really, but… well, not really. For the first time since I’ve started writing for this site, I am rating a film a perfect five out of five stars. Why haven’t I done this before? Because, for me, a perfect rating should NEVER be handed out lightly. Even if I really, really like a film (“The Hurt Locker”, “Inception”), if it has any glaring flaws that I can mark it down for, I will.

So, is “Black Swan”, a psychological-drama/kinda-sorta horror movie from director Darren Aronofsky, a flawless film? Probably not. I’m sure there are flaws to be found, but nothing glaring. Nothing that I could remember afterwards that really nagged on me. That’s because this had the same effect on me that Aronofsky’s previous films had: it left me feeling like I had been run through a true emotional ringer. By the end I was both exhausted yet exhilarated, depressed yet riveted, and overall, it left me wanting to see it again.

Aronofsky is that rare breed of filmmaker who understands the potential power that film can have, and who knows how to harness it in a way to make a true impact on the audience. Like in his earlier work, he combines music, sound effects, and striking imagery to capture the lead character’s obsession with perfection and her insecurities. This is especially true in the film’s frantic final act as we see Nina’s free fall descent into insanity, which captures the same kind of manic energy found in the last acts of “Pi“ and “Requiem for a Dream“.

Aronofsky literally puts us into her shoes (or dancing slippers) in the final third when we, like Nina, can’t tell if what we’re seeing is real, or only inside her head. The climax here isn’t quite as punch-to-the-gut powerful as the one in “Requiem for a Dream”, but alas, “Requiem” is a 6 star film, whereas “Black Swan” is merely a 5.

This film’s success or failure really depended on who was cast as Nina, since it’s entirely her show, and I don’t think Aronofsky could have found a better fit than Natalie Portman. She’s played it dark before in films like “Leon: The Professional” and “Closer”, but she really goes all out here and gives what is far and away the best performance I‘ve ever seen from her. And being that she just happens to be one of the best actresses in her age group (if not the best), that‘s really saying a lot. She holds absolutely nothing back, and her Nina ultimately becomes both a scary and pitiful figure in the end. If the Academy overlooks her this year, then I will personally picket outside the fucking Kodak Theater on Oscar night myself… okay, I probably won’t, but you get the idea.

However, as great as Portman is, her performance isn’t the only one deserving of my praises. There’s also Vincent Cassel as the somewhat slimy, manipulative ballet director, Thomas. Like with Portman, Cassel fits his role like a glove. The character isn’t a complete douchebag, in fact, he knows that deep down Nina has what it takes to play the Black Swan as well as the White, he just goes to extremes to get that performance out of her, without realizing the psychological damage he’s causing her. Cassel really brings the perfect mix of charm and sleaze to the part.

Mila Kunis, who I had only seen in that steaming, ass fucking pile of pig shit “American Psycho 2”, totally took me by surprise here. Playing the flipside of the coin to Nina, she’s dark, seductive and appropriately difficult to read. I was never fully sure if she was sincere in her attempts to befriend Nina, or if her real agenda was to screw her over. Before this, Kunis wasn’t on my radar at all, but she certainly is now.

Barbara Hershey is frighteningly freakish as that kind of overprotective mother who lives vicariously through her daughter. The kind we just want to grab by the throat and throttle until they’re room temperature, “Get your own fucking life, lady, and leave your daughter alone to live hers!” It’s obvious in Hershey and Portman’s interactions that the roots of all of Nina’s mental issues start with dear mother. I smell possible Best Supporting Actress Nod for Ms. Hershey, and a well deserved one. Her very appearance made my skin crawl.

As for criticisms, after viewing this film from beginning to end, and mulling it over in my mind, I can only think of one single complaint. It comes in the form of a visual metaphor late in the game that is both insultingly obvious and completely unnecessary to those of us who have been paying attention (you‘ll know it when you see it). That aside, I have no gripes. This is about as close to a flawless show as my tired eyes have seen in a good long time.

Though I personally loved “Black Swan”, there are those out there who I am sure will not. This is a true love it or hate it affair with no third option on the table. Those that hate it will probably do so for the same reasons that the lovers will love it. Whenever a film goes as far as this one does at times, it’s never certain how people will react to it on a individual basis. Aronofsky has never been one to hold back or take it easy on his characters or audiences with any of his films. And while some have reacted to his work with hatred, I think he would find that preferable to audiences reacting with indifference, which truly is worse. While I can’t guarantee you’ll like “Black Swan”, I highly recommend you see it.