“Perfection isn’t attainable, it is right in front of you.”

SOME REALLY GOOD TRON IMAGES HERE!!!

Swift Shot:  Romantic nostalgia.  Digital intercourse for your brain.  The little kid in you will secretly catalog all the cool new toys, and you’ll be wanting a few under the tree this year – I know I am.  Tron: Legacy is worth the wait! Hard to believe the original was released in 1982, but twenty-eight years later and Disney is still setting the bar for creative excellence.

Tron: Legacy is a sci-fi film on the surface and an endearing father-son story at its core.  In 1989, we see Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) having a heart to heart with his son, Sam (Owen Best) about a miracle he discovered at his company.  Flynn tells his son that soon they will change the world, together.  But, his father leaves that night and is never seen again – the world says the pressure was too much and Flynn just checked out. (We all know better, immediately, or at least those who saw the original know).

Jaded and daring, the adult Sam (Garrett Hedlund) thrives on danger and showmanship as he pays a yearly visit to the firm that he inherited, Encom.  His little stunts serve to annoy the current board of Encom but serve no purpose beyond a metaphorical “up yours” to the people he perceives as his father’s past tormentors.

Oh, you were wondering about Lora/Yori (Cindy Morgan)?  Me too, but it is explained early on, she died when Sam was just a small child.  So, Sam has some isolation issues, but adrenaline keeps him company, that and his little dog.  Not to mention he is a freaking genius millionaire with a Ducati and a nice little abode right on the water.  Still, the empathy for his character is there.  Remember, his father was a cocky SOB too . . . maybe a little too cocky.

Following one of these little stunts, Sam is visited by his new father figure, Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxlightner) who lets him know about a page he received, a page from his dad’s old office at the arcade, Flynn’s.  Immediately, the adventure seeking Sam is intrigued and decides to check it out.  He finds a secret room in Flynn’s which leads to (if you can’t see this coming you must be a Senator) the Grid.  The Grid, in Flynn’s words is a digital frontier, with clusters of information traveling through the computer, with ships and motorcycles and circuits like freeways.  But, oh gentle viewer, the Grid has undergone major reconstruction since 1982 – just wait til you “get in”.

There was a strange disclaimer before the 3D version began letting you know to keep your glasses on the whole time as some of the scenes were shot in 2D and 3D and essentially “there is nothing wrong with your set (or eyes) the diffusion you are about to experience is part of the show”.  About half way into the movie, you will understand why they released that disclaimer.  But, once you get into the Grid, things go from great to amazing.

Screenwriters Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis know this is what we all came to see and why we are willing to wear gaudy 3D glasses for over two hours, risking headaches and epilepsy.  Once you see the light-cycle match, you won’t even care if you are throwing up on the poor family in front of you.  And, thank you to whoever decided to slow down the best digital action sequences throughout the film.  There was not an iota of laziness in this film’s execution.  Every freakin’ pixel was painstakingly molly-coddled until it was perfect and flawless.

As Sam encounters the Grid, he doesn’t have a lot of time to let things sink in or even be amazed; immediately he realizes his dad is an uber-genius who actually managed to create the Grid which he is now a part of, whether by accident or design.  The thrill-seeker in him is adept at one thing, survival.  Which is good as he follows the first piece of advice he receives after the “selection officer” gives him his next destination “Games”.  Immediately he is thrust into an arena, it’s Tron’s Deadly Disks with a modern upgrade like you won’t believe – complete with something missing from the last film, a crowd to cheer and jeer the players, in the Grid referred to as “programs”.  Sam is a user, and he realizes his odds of surviving the arena are nil, as he faces off against the Boba-Fett like Rinzler.

Yes, Boba-Fett like, I said that on purpose, there are many nods to several other films, not just sci-fi.  Some are blatant and some will require you to use your imagination a bit.  I found these little nods wonderful and playful, you may call them rip-offs, I choose to call them homages.

Sam’s escape gets the attention of the master of the games, a yellow-highlighted, masked figure who shows him limited mercy by assigning him to game-on and try his luck at light cycles.  Before Sam can complete his task, another masked figure appears in some bad-ass vehicle (that hopefully will be sitting under my tree this year) and breaks him out into the badlands of the Grid.  His masked savior is revealed as Quorra (Olivia Wilde) who reminded me a little of Leeloo in her initial scenes but manages to self-develop as the film progressed. I can’t say too much more about what happens, suffice to say it is an emotional adventure, as Sam finds his father and learns about the miracle and the dangers of seeking perfection.

The characters of the Grid are engaged in a veritable fashion show as they enter the stage pea-cocking to the audience their individual personalities, but hidden secrets lie behind the masks of at least three of the characters.  Again, I am not saying anymore on this.Kudos to Costume Designer Michael Wilkinson, he had me nodding in approval right up to when we got to meet Castor (Michael Sheen), then I wanted to pluck out my eyes (or at least remove the 3D glasses), Castor’s appearance was cheesy right down to the light up cane, thrown in to pay homage to Charlie Chaplin, apparently.

The F/X in this film are ground-breaking, again, the director didn’t hide imperfections in fast-paced shots, he slowed things down so you get the full digital effect, and in 3D no less!  The cinematography, epic is the only word that comes close, the scenes in Center City were just as immersing as the streets in the Grid.  The transitions from scene to scene and location to location are well delivered.  What can I say about Daft Punk’s musical styling?  I haven’t wanted to buy a soundtrack this badly since I saw Top Gun, the first soundtrack album I ever got.  The way the film-makers incorporate the sound is stellar and nothing short of brilliant.  Nods to the classic again come in auditory form, with little hints to the 80s as even Flynn’s jargon and slang resonate from that era.

What didn’t I like?  At times I felt the movie didn’t have enough action, but this was more an adventure film, so I let it pass.  And, brother when the action happens, it is blistering and fierce.  One thing I found the nerd in me nitpicking on, was the fact that these programs had mundane lives outside of their schematics – I mean, a drunk program on the street, how could that happen?  I wanted more out of the tanks, yes, they aren’t as cool as some of the new toys in Tron, but they were my favorite as a kid and I missed seeing them in action, and 28 years have passed – sad to say, you don’t get any action from the old tanks.  The uber-nerds out there will feel my pain.

I was un-impressed with Michael Sheen as Castor, even though he did a fine job; I just felt his character and the Gem character pointless (granted she was sizzling to look at, played by the drop-dead gorgeous Beau Garrett).

Fans of the original have been waiting 28 years – most of the people that will see it this weekend probably never even saw the original and even fewer in theaters.  For my part, I saw Tron with my dad when I was 8 and I never looked at the world the same again; every time I played an arcade game, I worried about the little pixelated warriors doing my bidding.  This will entice the old guard fans to see how much technology has played a part in their lives – and how much further we have come in less than three decades.

This is fore-most a story about reconciliation, but what bothered me personally was Disney excluding Cindy Morgan from this new film as she desperately wanted to be a part of it.  I understand why they did it, because her part just didn’t fit anywhere with this new adventure.  And, adventure it was, as I mentioned it has slow parts that kids may find themselves mentally fast-forwarding through.  There is a lot of intrigue going on and perhaps not enough action, but the overall package is served up to this action fan’s satisfaction.

This was a legendary, exotic, sensual, important, digital delight, Walt would be immensely proud of his people on this project!  Checking this out in theaters is a must!!

+++More Tangled pics here+++

Once upon a time, there was a magical flower that had healing powers.  An evil witch discovered the flower, and she kept it hidden so she could use it to keep herself young.  Then, the queen of a nearby kingdom became gravely ill, and the king sent all his men out to search for the magical healing flower.  To the evil witch’s disappointment, the king’s men found the magical healing flower, and they plucked it from the ground to deliver it to the queen.  The queen drank tea made with the flower, and she became well again.  However, the queen was pregnant, and the magical properties of the flower were transferred to her baby.  The evil witch was not happy about this turn of events, and when she discovered that the baby princess had acquired the magic, she kidnapped the princess.  But the king and queen never give up hope that the lost princess would be returned.  Every year, on the princess’s birthday, the people of the kingdom release hundreds of floating candles into the sky in memory of their missing princess.

Fast forward seventeen years….Rapunzel (Mandy Moore) has been locked in a tower for seventeen long, lonely years.  She spends her time painting, reading, and dreaming, with a cute little chameleon named Pascal as her only friend.  Sure, she gets visits from the evil witch Mother Gothel (Donna Murphy), who tells her all about the scary things out in the world.  Rapunzel is too terrified to even want to leave the safety of her tower!!  But Mother Gothel knows she has to keep Rapunzel in the tower, because she uses her for her own personal fountain of youth.  You see, when they sing a special song, the magic happens, Mother Gothel reverse-ages, and Rapunzel’s hair grows.  Oh yeah, and her hair is about 70 feet long now.

Rapunzel is no damsel in distress though.  When it comes down to it, Rapunzel discovers that a frying pan makes a handy weapon.  When Flynn Rider (Zachary Levi), thief, discovers Rapunzel’s tower while fleeing from castle guards, Rapunzel takes him hostage (she ties him up with her hair!!) and then forces him to help her escape.  Rapunzel has been keeping track, and she knows that in a few days, the floating lights will appear and she wants to see them up close and personal.  Rapunzel has no idea that the floating lights are in memory of the lost princess, who is actually her!!  What happens next is a fun adventure involving some thugs in a pub, a mean horse named Maximus (he was really funny) and a little romance thrown in for good measure (this IS a Disney movie, after all!!).

What I liked:  There was more humor in this movie than a lot of other Disney animated films.  Since this is the 50th animated feature by Walt Disney Pictures, I was glad to see that it still had all the charm and wonder of the first animated feature, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs”, and it will leave you with that feel-good, happy feeling.  The visuals were amazing, very rich and colorful.  There were no talking animals in this one, but the chameleon and the horse were very expressive and humorous.  The songs were catchy, and I especially enjoyed hearing Zachary Levi (TV’s Chuck Bartowski) sing.  I thought the main characters reminded me of Aladdin (a thief with no family) and Jasmine (a rebellious princess).  I also noticed a spinning wheel (like the one from “Sleeping Beauty”) up in Rapunzel’s tower.  I’m sure there were more nods to other Disney films that I missed.  Mandy Moore and Zachary Levi were awesome in this movie.

What I didn’t like:  Rapunzel spent the whole movie barefoot.  I would think her feet would be killing her, what with all the running around she was doing.  I’m sure she could have found shoes somewhere (or a pair of scissors?)

Don’t believe when people say this is a rip-off of “Shrek”.  I like the “Shrek” movies, but they are never as good as Disney films.  Disney animated pictures have that certain something that other animated movies lack.  This is a perfect addition to your holiday festivities, add Tangled to your must see list.

[Need more POTTER?!?!!, Click here!!!]

As an avid, uber, borderline insane fan of the Harry Potter franchise (books), I always pick apart each Potter film release once I finish watching and immediately begin to dismiss  scenes that were not in the book or that were completely altered to almost unrecognizable proportions  (see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban). Though the movies have not followed the book, they do incorporate a lot of the events skipping what some fans call the “padding” within the books giving us purely relevant scenes.

Needless to say, my knees were shaking and I could barely contain myself walking into the theatre. The line outside was discouraging but, thankfully, I had a job to do, literally…and thankfully that job was watching Harry Potter. I skipped the line since we already had our seats, grabbed a nifty mini-poster from SOL 95, a local Spanish radio station and galloped up to my seat, which was perfect because I got the golden spot right in the center of the theater.

I am just going to try and pretend that I haven’t read the books, but for those who have grown with ‘Book’ Harry, this film was ON POINT! So, the movie starts just like the others, on 4 Privet Drive except things are definitely leaning towards the dark side. The Dursleys, pale with fear, have all their things smashed into their tiny car. I am not sure where they are going but it is one hundred percent away from Harry Potter. Right now, he is public enemy number one to everyone but his closer friends and acquaintances…even the Ministry in all their “justness”  becomes corrupt and begins a campaign, with propaganda and all not unlike the Nazi’s, against him. The Nazi factor comes to play when you see legions of people creating anti-mudblood (muggle/wizard mixes) flyers and posters and news headlines. It actually seems a lot more horrible than it was in the book, but it was a great scene nonetheless.

There was a very huge amount of adrenaline injected into some of this film. Like the other Potter movies, this one had action scenes but they seemed extra exhilarating. I am not sure if it was the fresh Harry Potter anxiety or the extreme amount of soda I drank before I sat that got me so wound up. These scenes were noticeably not consistent in the movie. Not to say the movie was ever boring; but they could have done a slightly better job of transitioning from one main scene to another.  The trio (Harry, Ron, and Hermione) have as much chemistry on screen as ever…and then some. Everyone’s acting was perfect and reflected their characters’ behaviors very accurately.

The road to Hogwarts takes a leap of faith into what some anal parents would dub “mature content”. Straight from imdb.com it tells us that the movie is “rated PG-13 for some sequences of intense action violence, frightening images and brief sensuality.” Let me elaborate on this. The intense action would come from the two chase scenes, a few “jinx to the death” battles, and in the form of a neat little animated short. The short, for those who have read the book, tells the story of the three brothers in complete details in an animation style that I fell in love with.

I don’t want to spoil it, but this tale refers to the main legend backing this installment of Potter’s adventures. The jinx battles occur like your common gun fight except with flying broomsticks, wands, and multi-colored and fatal electricity…oh and oddly named magic spells. The brief sensuality comes in the form of a “horcrux” (Evil Voldemort life piece) defense mechanism. If you are with children, this will be a very uncomfortable moment for you that much I will disclaim. Harry and Ginny also share their moment of lust for an odd length in the earlier part of the film, creating lesser of a reaction because this time Harry and his “kiss-partner” were not naked. Adding to the maturity is the actual fear the movie brings. There are sudden loud noises that startle you and pretty frightening images for our younger folks. Think of dark empty alleys, filled with giant snakes and the limp bodies of those tortured muggles and wizards that could not withstand the pain and you’ll get the overall feel of the film.

With that said, I guarantee you that book readers will not have complaints about the film in relation to accuracy. (Of course someone is going to say otherwise eventually however, I disagree with them ahead of time) This is also a film where the prequels do not have to be seen to understand what exactly is happening in the main story because they go back and make several references to the past. Sadly, they don’t elaborate much, leaving the viewer knowing only as much as they could gather from the different items and characters that they flashed back to. Kids younger than eight, I suggest you take them at your own discretion as it can result with a noisy brat forcing you to leave early which in this case, you will not want to do. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1 was a heart-stopping broom ride that definitely belongs among the great Harry Potter collection.

[Editor's note: Sergio wanted six stars for this one, but you know my rule, no six stars til I have seen it too.]

Genius

[Behind the scenes images, here]

Swift shot:  Of all the adjectives I could use to describe this film, the only one that works is MANDATORY.  It is mandatory for you to see this film if you are between the ages of 15 – 40 – it’s your story, your digital birth.  The Social Network delivers sharp, fast and exacting dialog.  The story is told brilliantly through the testimony of two lawsuits, as the lawyers and witnesses give testimony. Facebook’s story comes to life – the good – the bad – and especially the ugly.  But, what is fact and what is poetry is not as important in how well the story is told.

Jesse Eisenberg plays genius, Mark Zuckerberg – the creator of facebook.com.  He is an “asshole”, he hates the elite, because he thinks he will never be one of them . . . despite his ability to make butt-loads of money.  He suffers from an affliction a lot of geniuses have to contend with – he is surrounded by idiots.  We learn this about him in the opening scene, he is not the kind of person you ask an opinion from, unless you really want his opinion.

In one drunken night, after he is dumped, he creates facemash.com and crashes Harvard’s system at 4 am.  He was coding, blogging and creating/designing all while on a beer binge.  I can’t even write code to make the iRATEfilms Th®illometer go vroom, and this whiz kid could probably write a DNA code to create me!  Shit, we are probably all just code anyway, which might make God the ultimate nerd, wired in to keep us online.

Like most geniuses, Mark has few, if any, friends – because tolerating friends isn’t something most geniuses enjoy.  But his closest friend, maybe only true friend, Eduardo Saverin (Andrew Garfield) knows that while he is eccentric, Mark is still a good person worth enduring. Mark also grabs the attention of the Winklevoss twins, played solely by Armie Hammer (Second-generation progeny to Armand Hammer).  I had no idea the twins were done by one actor, it was an incredibly seamless effect, in a film I thought was devoid of any real FX work.  Bravo!

The twins propose Mark make amends for facemash.com by helping code their new site, “Harvard Connection”, where only the harvard.edu suffix bearers are allowed to tread online.  Essentially, these elite a-holes want to make a Harvard only club . . . online . . . how original.  I enjoyed watching them taken down several pegs in this film, and you will too, unless you are a cold, blue-blooded SOB – in which case, stay home, this isn’t your film.  It’s a story about the “little guy” sticking it to the man, but ah, the troubles that come with power and money come to the surface eventually.

Enter Sean Parker (Timberlake) who serves as the none too literal fly in the ointment of thefacebook.  Parker gave us all Napster, but he comes to thefacebook with considerable baggage – all lies, he assures his newest desciple, Mark.  Eduardo isn’t drawn in to the bullshit from Parker, and eventually lines are drawn in the proverbial sand – and where the bodies end up, you have to see for yourself how everything turns out.  To Parker’s credit, he does (according to the film, at least) tell Mark to drop the from thefacebook and just call it Facebook.

Almost no special effects were used in this, they could have taken a page from Hackers to show a virtual world, but I am glad Fincher steered clear of that idea.  While it was cool in Hackers, it wasn’t reality.  There is a scene that shows a real hack session that I loved, and it had zero special effects.  There was one stunt I can think of in the whole film.  It isn’t an action flick, the pace was perfect though, using one  sequence juxtaposing hacking nerds vs. elite pricks partying.  I would almost say this film is a good tool for class-warfare, but I won’t go there.

I know people who HATE facebook, people who LOVE it, and people who can’t live without it!  But, everyone has something to say about it.  Which, as you learn in the film, is all Mark ever really wanted – to be heard, really heard.  It wasn’t about the money to him, it was about the “Yes, I did this, suck it!”  I matter, I am a someone.   I wanted to give this film six stars, but I wanted a little more background set-up on the characters.  The characters are defined in The Social Network by their actions, and that is fine, we all are for the most part.  I just wanted to know more about WHY Mark is the way he is.

This film was begging to be made by someone, I am glad it was done by such a professional crew.  When something as powerful and important as facebook comes along, the exposition of how it became so amazing is essential.  If this had been a straight-laced documentary, it wouldn’t be real life.  The creative license used in The Social Network was perfect, the hurt and betrayal were genuine, the smugness, the apathy, all a credit to Fincher’s fine directing and getting the best from his team.

Whether you loathe, love or are apathetic towards Facebook, this is still a story about your generation, the digital generation, not being online and not being connected now is like saying you don’t believe in phones.  Sure, you can live in a cabin in the woods and use a wooden type-writer to pen a manifesto  about the evils of the digital age, but no one is gonna hear you roar – cuz you aren’t wired in – you don’t exist anymore!

Social media has redefined a generation, how we live, work, play, hell even our history is being cataloged every digital day.  To miss this one would be a tremendous mistake!

Incidentally, if you haven’t yet – go ahead and check out OUR Facebook fan page by clicking the image below and “Liking” it – probably the only dumb thing Mark ever did was changing “Become a Fan” to “Like”.  Asking someone to facebook you sounds cool, asking someone to “Like” you makes you freakin’ Teddy Ruxpin!

What happens when a little white lie about losing your virginity spirals completely out of control?

When Olive Penderghast (Emma Stone) lies to her best friend Rhiannon (Aly Michalka) about her recent weekend activities, she tells her that she lost her virginity to a boy from the local community college. Unfortunately, you should always check the bathroom stalls before revealing any personal information, because they are overheard by Marianne (Amanda Bynes, who may or may not be retired from acting), a Jesus-loving goody-two-shoes who tells everyone in school that Olive is a slut. Suddenly, Olive goes from being the invisible girl to the girl that everyone wants to talk to…and hire. That’s right, the boys want Olive to lie and tell everyone about the relations she supposedly had with them, to boost their popularity, in exchange for gift cards to various stores and restaurants.

Now that the whole school thinks Olive is an uber-slut, she decides to go with it. She begins dressing WAY inappropriately and wears a red “A” on her top, just like Hester Prynne in “The Scarlet Letter” (which her English class is studying). It’s fun for a while, but soon everything goes haywire. She keeps having to visit the principal’s office for her behavior, the Jesus-loving kids keep trying to “save” her, the school counselor keeps trying to give her handfuls of prophylactics, and then Olive is blamed for giving a student an STD. Things take a turn for the worse when Olive finds out who is really responsible, and she reveals to the person’s spouse that their partner is unfaithful.

While all of the actors in the movie were fantastic, there were a few that really shined. Stanley Tucci and Patricia Clarkson, as Olive’s quirky parents, were awesome. They were the hit of every scene they were in. Emma Stone was extraordinary as well. She had perfect comedic timing throughout the whole movie.

“Easy A” was a teen high school movie like “Mean Girls” but I thought it was even better than that. It’s narrated by Olive as she speaks into her webcam, dividing the movie into different parts, such as “Not with a fizzle, but with a bang”, to explain the sequence of events. Slightly raunchy, extremely funny, “Easy A” is A+!!!

<<<<More images>>>>

Easy A, would have been your average “teenager movie” however, it stood out to be anything but! Well, no let me correct myself.  It technically is a teenager’s movie but every human being can get something fantastic out of this movie. Whether it is cheap laughs or the deep ethical issues Olive works through, I can pretty much guarantee you will enjoy this movie. I know I might get a lot of heat for saying this, but I see this movie being a classic in the future.  Throughout, Olive  mentions classics from different mediums the older crowd could appreciate. (i.e. sixteen candles, breakfast club, and a few other Eighties references.) The mirroring of Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter” gives the movie a unique feeling especially if you have read the novel.

From the first minutes you will be giggling like a high school girl.  What starts off as a white lie to her friend, Rhi (Aly Michalka), leads sarcastic Olive Penderghast (Emma Stone) on an emotional roller-coaster involving everything from gay men, assumed prostitution, and even a musical number (for no reason) – if you include the beginning montage where Olive jams to her grandmother’s corny music card and progressively gets into the song . . . which, incidentally, makes two delicious musical numbers. While on that subject, this was the first movie soundtrack I have left the theatre planning on buying. It includes a few great cover songs plus some refreshing music by new artists. (I have confirmed that it is available on itunes with special “album only” tracks.)  All the songs fit in well with poor Olive’s rumor fiasco and it’s accelerated velocity of “terminological inexactitude.”

The characters were all VERY lovable and/or “hateable”.  The Penderghast family was literally a family that is pretty much perfect. Mom (Patricia Clarkson) and Dad (personal fave Stanley Tucci) get along perfectly well and have raised relatively fine children. The two siblings, Olive and adopted Chip (Bryce Clyde Jenkins) get along well also. Through the entire film, the family experiences no turmoil what-so-ever. I am glad that “common family problems” and “issues regarding adoption” are absent. Amanda Bynes plays Marianne, a church-obsessed student hell-bent on getting the self-admitted whore, Olive expelled from school. Her character is hilarious, if only for the fact  I haven’t seen Amanda Bynes as an antagonist before. She was great! I really wish she was in the movie just a bit more.  There are some fantastic familiar faces also, with Lisa Kudrow and Thomas Haden Church playing Mr. and Mrs. Griffith. Mr. Griffith is Olive’s favorite teacher/English teacher and Mrs. Griffith is his wife and guidance counselor of Ojai High school in California. (Ojai as in ‘Oh-jay’). The plot brought all these characters together in ways even a psychic would have trouble guessing.

There are some notable scenes that I think landed this movie a guaranteed place in the pre-order “Buy on Blu-ray” list.  It is worth it on all accounts to catch the movie in the theater, because it is a treat to watch with your friends. If possible, and you are still in high school, I suggest you watch this with your posse and see what they get out of it, maybe see how they would react if in Olive’s situation.  True, it is an average coming of age movie with an unlikely progression. However, there are fresh jokes, witty writing, and a mountain of sarcasm that makes the movie so enjoyable, albeit it feels a bit short. I have zero percent negative feelings of the movie and I see this going down next to Ferris Bueller, in the coveted coming of age movie classics aisle.

[Editor's note:  SergD wanted to give this baby the six-star treatment, but I will have to see it first - Swift]

The Best “Toy Story”, hands down.

***Need more toys?, click here or on the image above.***

The gang returns with the classic favorites, Woody (voiced by Tom Hanks), Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen), the Potato Heads, Jessie, Bullseye, Rex, Hamm, and we meet a few new toys as well. We FINALLY get to see Barbie and Ken (sorry, but Little Bo Peep, while Woody’s romantic interest, just didn’t cut it for me!), and a few other classics, like the chatter telephone on a string and an over sized baby doll named Big Baby, who was a little more than creepy…more on that later.

Its been 15 years since the first Toy Story adventure and Andy has grown up and is heading off to college. As he packs his room up, he needs to decide what to do with all of his toys, which he has not played with in years. His mom gives him several boxes, some to be taken to college, others for the attic, and a trash bag. She also suggests that his younger sister should start cleaning up her room, but her toys are destined for Sunnyside, the local day care center.

Andy selects Woody as the only toy to accompany him to college and puts all of the others in a bag to be stored in the attic.The bag of toys is mistakenly taken out to the trash and after being rescued by Woody, the toys decide that it would be better to go to the day care center where they’ll be played with by other children instead of collecting dust in the attic. Woody inadvertently ends up in the box with them and they all find themselves being donated to Sunnyside.

Sunnyside appears to be a toy’s paradise for the gang. They are greeted by the day care’s leader, Lots-o-Huggin’ Bear (voice of Ned Beatty), an over sized purple bear who smells like strawberries.  (I was reminded of my Strawberry Shortcake doll who also smelled of strawberries – of course I couldn’t smell Lots-o-Huggin).  But there is more to the fragrant bear than first impressions would have you believe, he is a tyrant, dictator of the center who has created a pyramid of control over Sunnyside.

The toys prepare for a great escape with Woody leading the caper. The purple bear finds out about the plot and sentences the toys to the “Catepillar” room  – with children too young to appreciate the gang’s playing ability. Jessie is used as a paintbrush, Rex is pulled apart, and the toys are tossed about like sand in the sandbox. Buzz requests a transfer to the “Butterfly” room with Lots-O and the other, more tenured toys, only to find out that the gang must “pay their dues.”  Lots-O allows Buzz into the fold, but there is a terrible price to pay, and even Barbie is kicked out of Ken’s Dream House.

Meanwhile, on the way to Andy’s house to arrange for the escape, Woody is swooped up by a little girl who brings him home with her.  She has toys of her own, Trixie, a vivacious triceratops, Buttercup, a friendly unicorn, and Mr. Pricklepants, a thespian hedgehog (voice of Timothy Dalton). But when Woody’s new friends find out that Woody escaped from Sunnyside, they are shocked…no one escapes from Sunnyside! Woody realizes his friends are in trouble and sneaks in the little girl’s backpack to get back to Sunnyside. Plans for the great escape get underway and the gang pulls together to outsmart Lots-O and his gang of toy thugs.

The comedy in this movie is inventive and balances out the mischievous action. Buzz expands his role as a Latin lover, speaking Spanish and dancing around while trying to woo Barbie, and the ascot sporting Ken (voiced by Michael Keaton) stole the show with his “Ken Dream House” and large collection of authentic vintage clothing. (As the daughter of an avid Barbie collector, I actually remembered some of the outfits that are worth a pretty penny in the collector’s arena, and it was fun to see some of the real life outfits on Ken in the fashion show scene!)

However there is a darker side to the film, as expected. Instead of Zorg, or an evil Toy Collector, there is Lots-O. We learn that the once friendly and cuddly bear turned sour after being forgotten, along with Big Baby and a clown, at a picnic by his former owner. Hungry for power and control of Sunnyside, he has created a prison for all of the toys inside, complete with a high tech security system, guards, and an all seeing monkey who monitors the security cameras. All of which create the challenges to the great escape for our gang of toys.

And then there is Big Baby. Big Baby is an over sized damaged infant doll with a droopy eye who is the muscle of the gang. While the film did a decent job of trying to keep this toy as a fairly Disney-friendly villain…it border-lined something you’d see in Chucky or some kind of horror film. Even the clown wasn’t as scary looking as Big Baby.

The 3D film surpassed its 2D counterparts and I would highly recommend it to the kid inside of everyone. Directed by Lee Unkrich (co-director of “Toy Story 2” and “Finding Nemo”), produced by Pixar, and written by Academy-Award winning screenwriter Michael Arndt, Toy Story 3 is hysterical adventure the whole family will enjoy (preferably in 3D).

Why not share some wonderful toys?

Monday, June 14th-June 30th from 9:30AM-6:30PM at
Miami Seaquarium
4400 Rickenbacker Causeway
Miami, Fl 33149

Cheech and Chong are BACK, and Hey Watch This is their first movie together in 25 years. Hey Watch This uses footage of one of their shows on the 2009 tour – showing  Cheech and Chong at their absolute finest. The time apart has not taken away from the chemistry they’ve always had when working together. Opening with a crowd of people outside the theater waiting to get inside chanting “CHEECH & CHONG” over and over again.The stage is set . . .

We meet other characters as well, Doug and Dougie the gay movie critics, and “Fake” Cheech and Chong are sitting up in a balcony smoking and watching the show as well.

The show opens with Shelby Chong (Tommy Chong’s wife) on stage doing a stand up bit about Tommy going to jail for 9 months and other random facts. Up in the balcony “Fake” Tommy says she’s a little small for him, but she is HOT! “Fake” Cheech just looks at Chong and goes, yeah right. Meanwhile Cheech and Chong are going outside to “light up” before they go out on stage. They end up getting locked out and have to find a way to get back inside. The two do some running around, try to get past security (who doesn’t believe it is them) and finally get let back in by the stage director as Shelby is finishing up her set.

Cheech is the first one out on stage, and the hilarity ensues as soon as Cheech starts up his “car” and starts singing “Love Machine” much like in the beginning of “Up in Smoke”.  We meet Doug/Cheech and Dougie/Chong (gay movie critics) ripping into the real act with brute one-liners . . . boy he got FAT! Chong comes out and gets in the “car” and Doug/Cheech says, WOW he got OLD! We soon find out the duo is doing a fresher version of the opening when they meet each other for the first time. This has added some new elements, and is even funnier now then it was when the movie first came out in 1978! And, no, they don’t light a real joint, but “Fake” Tommy throws a joint out towards the stage for them. When the skit is done Tommy goes up to the stage director and tells him there are two dicks in the balcony throwing shit, “. . . it’s joints but still get them out!”

Next up it’s everyone’s FAVORITE game show “Let’s Make a Dope Deal!” If you know Cheech and Chong, you know that this is one of their funniest comedy skits, and it has gotten BETTER!!! Cheech is your host, and Chong is the contestant. Watching them in this bit rocked, even though Chong keeps getting the answers correct, Cheech keeps lowering the amount of weed Chong wins. I Love this skit!  To see them do it again is great.

Cheech and Chong go through an array of skits for the rest of the show, and stoned or sober this movie is a classic, from the classic comedy duo. I found myself laughing hysterically through the whole movie, and I was sober myself! This movie is a good time for all, and as Tommy Chong said in our interview, there are no inside jokes. I agree with what Doug said at the end of this movie and give it one thumb WAY UP!!!!! This movie shows that no matter how much time passes, if it’s funny the first time, it will ALWAYS be funny. I suggest you listen to the interview, because it really is a great companion piece to this movie without spoiling all of the elements that make this movie great!

Rick Swift

“Wolverines”

Swift shot: Classic Milius! If you read my bio, you know this was one of my favorite films growing up, it put things at the time into a perspective I appreciated.  Today I have heard it described as silly and frivolous story-telling, bullshit, it was a great film and I will tell you why below…

Teddy Roosevelt 1899 – “Far better it is to dare mighty things . . . than to take rank with those poor timid spirits who know neither victory nor defeat.”

To explain why this film resonated with me is to reveal inner darkness, and perhaps why I have so hesitated to review this film.  As we dissect that which we love, we learn much about ourselves – and sometimes the truth is not pretty, but it is honest.

To say I have an intimate relationship with this film would be the understatement of the eighties, it would be like saying Gary Hart made some poor choices, who?  Yes, I see I need to set the tone here – go back with me to 1984, when we invaded Nicaragua and the Russians were occupying Afghanistan, boycotting the Olympics and CIA station-chief, William Buckley was kidnapped and eventually died at the hand’s of his captors in Iran. . . to a time when “Just Say No” was focused on the war on drugs and not trans-fats.

I was ten, and just starting to understand what it was to be an “American”.  Red Dawn wasn’t only socially relevant, it was a warning of what to expect if things didn’t change! As a re-hash of Red Dawn is now in the works, I hear people on blogs saying, how can they make that movie now?  Maybe we need to look at the last decade and the new Sino-Russian threat which may seem far-fetched to you.  But, I digress, that is the new film, let’s focus on the original.

Red Dawn centers around the fictional small-town of Calumet, Colorado, where one small skirmish of World War III takes place.  Russian-Cuban military units paratroop into the town and quickly seize it, rounding up people like me and seeing to it we don’t become partisans and insurgents.  Sounds like an easy plan, right?  WRONG COMMIE!  You don’t just drop into small-town America and expect to walk around unscathed, not if the Wolverines have anything to say about it.

Comprised of a few teenagers who manage to flee the initial assault and hide out successfully in the mountainous woods of “Colorado”, these Wolverines (their high school mascot) put up a tenacious resistance and become a ravenous nuisance for the occupying armies.  They are mostly naive, yet strong-willed youths who only want to survive and return to normalcy, but they soon realize that normal is a dream.  They stand up, willing to die, willing to kill, fighting for their homeland . . . til the death.

What so inspires me about Red Dawn is the way I seem to identify with all the characters – now more than ever even.  All of the characters deserve that scrutiny in Red Dawn, because Milius shows us the dramatic impact of violence, whether it be from the allies or the invaders perspective, death comes to everyone – and death is personal and painful in Red Dawn.

Characters are shot, tortured, humiliated, betrayed, and all manner of angst is printed on their hearts.  Some are led to a firing squad, some are forced to dig their own grave, put yourself in that guy’s shoes.  It’s easy to watch as a spectator, this work of fiction, but I know from my service (in Albania), people who were forced to do just that . . . and worse.   What would you do, tough guy?

We all want to believe we would be fighting the occupiers and holding our own – destroying as much enemy materiel and morale as possible – but, could you, if the shit hit the fan, right now, today, would you be ready?  Go on, laugh, pretend there isn’t evil in the world, pull your covers over your head and bury your fears in the sweet fiction of Hollywood.  It wasn’t too long ago that a man had explosives stitched into his underwear to kill Americans, that sounded pretty damned far-fetched to me . . . until it actually happened.  Think of the level of dedication for that “character” – starting to get my point now?

This film had a cast of relatively unknowns that went on to become somebodies.  The late Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Gray, Lea Thompson, and Charlie Sheen and my favorite character in the film, C. Thomas Howell, as Robert.  At the beginning, Robert dons a Star Wars cap with the bill turned up – until he learns of his father’s death and he drinks the blood of his first deer, after that, he is a different character altogether.

Robert embodies the uber-realist in war, and metes out justice without emotion.  His lust for revenge is never sated.  These characters always interest me the most, because their transformation is so immersing.  Robert has lost everything, and his hate keeps him warm at night, it is why he wakes up every morning and what he dreams about before closing his eyes – and I always wondered, what would Robert have been like if not for the war?

Red Dawn is easy to over-look as “just a cheesy, red-scare movie from the eighties” . . . until it becomes reality.  I lived in Norway, in a house that was seized by a Gestapo officer in World War II, a resistance fighter was killed down the street by having his mouth shoved on a tailpipe, tanks used to roll down the E39, fear and despair was everywhere.  To this day, Norwegians decorate their Christmas trees with little Norwegian flags, and I asked my friend why, he looked at me with no emotion and said matter-of-factly, “because the Germans wouldn’t let us fly our flags – you got killed for that”.  Tell a Norwegian that Red Dawn is just a scare-film, I dare you.

VERSUS

H-Man

“America! Fuck Yeah!”

The H-Bomb: I was checking out the DVD section of my local Wal-Mart when I chanced upon a DVD Double Pack of “Navy Seals” & “Red Dawn” for five bucks.  Knowing that “Red Dawn” is an old favorite of our esteemed editor Rick Swift, I decided “what the hell” and tossed it into the shopping cart. So, how does this personal fave of Mr. Swift’s rate with the H? Read and find out.

It’s the early mid-eighties in America, and the worst thing imaginable has just happened to us, we’ve been invaded by the Ruskies (With the help of Cuba and Mexico. If this movie were made today, you could throw in Iran and Venezuela as well)! The Soviets parachute into our country, and all but completely take it over in what seems to be the span of a day. However, there’s one thing those rat commie bastards didn’t count on… a pack of High Schoolers hiding in the mountains, armed to the teeth and determined to take their country back, guerrilla style! Yeah, take that you freedom hating Pinko fucks!

On the surface, this film seems to tell a purely patriotic, flag waving, nobody fucks with the U. S. of A. type story. However, to look into it a little more deeply, you could argue that the film’s real message is that occupation of one country by another will never work because the natives will always resist. And that could be applied to us in our adventures into Vietnam and Iraq just as much as it could to the Soviets invading Afghanistan. But seriously, who wants to look at it from that angle? I mean, this flick was co-written and directed by all American gun nut John Milius, one of the most macho, bad ass filmmakers in Hollyweird. He had a hand in writing the first two Dirty Harry movies and directed “Conan the Barbarian”. He makes movies for guys who like movies! He ain’t no candy ass!

As for the film itself, I enjoyed it and can definitely see why it’s achieved its cult status among action buffs. The action scenes were well-staged (if a bit redundant) and the film is surprisingly violent for PG-13 (yes, I’m aware this is the first PG-13 movie). Something that caught me off guard is how serious the tone of “Red Dawn” is. Not that I was expecting anything campy, but I was expecting it to be more… rousing, for lack of a better word, but it’s actually quite dark and a little bleak.

Another part where the movie falters is with the characterizations of teen rebels (led by Patrick Swayze. Why? Because he’s Patrick fuckin’ Swayze, bitch!). They all felt underdeveloped and therefore I never quite felt attached to them the way I should have. The young cast of now familiar faces, including Charlie Sheen, Lea Thompson (the Mom from “Back to the Future”), and Jennifer Grey (who went on to star with Swayze in “Dirty Dancing”), all do fine, but sadly the script doesn’t give them much to work with. Powers Booth drops in as a shot down fighter pilot and completely owns for about twenty minutes or so. He really brings a sense of gravitas to the cast, and I almost wish he was the star.

Also, there were moments of what I think were unintentional silliness, like when Harry Dean Stanton shouts “AVENGE ME!!!” to his sons. That part just made me laugh out loud.

But why am I even complaining, it’s “Red Dawn”, for Christ’s sakes. Odds are your minds are already made up on this one. If you’re nostalgic for the 80′s, or enjoy good, old fashioned 80′s shoot em ups (80′s action movies… nothing quite like them), then you probably have a special place for it right in your cinematic carnage loving heart. I know boss man Swift does.

As for what I thought of the other half of this DVD Double Header, “Navy Seals”, I think Kevin Smith was spot on in referring to it as one of the most “intellectually devoid movies on the rack”. But I kind of had fun with that one, too.