“Death is only the beginning.”

Swift shot:  Modern movie magic brings a classic, enduring character back to life.  With a sturdy understanding of Sherlock Holmes, Director Guy Ritchie and cast-members alike create an enjoyable moving picture for all audiences to enjoy.  With just the right amount of action peppered in, Sherlock Holmes doesn’t disappoint on any level.

Guy Ritchie is not my favorite director, perish the thought.  I know a lot of people like his style, not me.  But he turned in a great piece of work with Sherlock Holmes.  Credit the casting department for using Robert Downey Jr. as the cursed-genius resident of 221B Baker Street, London.   Without him, or using a real Londoner, the overall international appeal would have been nil.  Robert Downey is a freakin super-star right now, and his accolades are well deserved.  He brings to the Holmes role a kind of gruff attitude akin to the most recent Holmes incarnation, Gregory House (unless you are a buffoon, you know House is an allusion to Holmes).

Whom better to portray the wise, yet caustic Holmes than Downey in our era, Brad “Button” Pitt? Matt Daaamon? Ashton “The Twit” Kutcher? Christian “Batman” Bale?  Not hardly.  And, what of his being an action hero, clearly, Holmes was an action hero of his day, having used bartitsu and bare-knuckled brawling to subdue the fiercest of enemies.  So, why not Ironman?  In fact, I absolutely loved the way they explained how the mind of Holmes directing his martial-arts could be a very lethal combination.  Furthermore, Ritchie slows down the pace a bit so us poor saps can capture in a few seconds what must pass through Holmes’ mind in a nanosecond.  Excellent and a novel way to transpose print to silver-screen.

According to the Internet Movie Database, there are no less than 223 portrayals of the Holmes facade in movies and television.  My exposure to the character happened when I was really young; I watched Tom Baker (Dr. Who) don the deerstalker and solve the mystery of The Hound of the Baskervilles in a TV miniseries.  After that, I would catch the occasional Sherlock Holmes movie, some classics with Rathbone, the real Sherlock Holmes (according to my father).  But, dear old, departed dad, there were almost thirty-five other actors portraying Holmes before Rathbone.  So, let’s assume there will be at least thirty-five more following Downey.  This character is too interesting to fade away into obscurity; they even have a museum for him in London – a fictional character, mind you.

I was always intrigued by Sherlock Holmes, especially Dr. John Watson (Jude Law), whom I always wanted to know more about – then came along this highly controversial depiction of Holmes and Watson, Young Sherlock Holmes (Nicholas Rowe) which captivated me for its supernatural qualities and novel special effects.  It was controversial primarily because it apparently had Holmes and Watson meeting too soon, and it was rated PG-13 for strong sexual themes and violence – probably another reason I enjoyed it so much.  That, and the bad guy, Anthony Higgins, was amazing.  Oddly enough, he even portrayed Holmes later on, with Rowe now doing voice-overs in the new Dr. Who – trippy!

This latest, and perhaps final, Holmes and Watson adventure focuses on Watson’s engagement and planned exodus from flat 221B.  Their final capture was of the diabolical Lord Blackwood, played by the ever-sinister Mark Strong.  Strong is the kind of guy who could set off Lucifer’s flight or fight response. Blackwood promises his captors that “Death is only the beginning” as he prepares to hang for his crimes against the crown and several murders.  After that, the game is afoot!

Secret societies, magical cults, with powerful and prestigious pieces adorn this theatrical chess board – all set as the “Colonies” fight a civil war across the pond.  While Holmes and Watson find themselves wrapped up in the game, Holmes’ attention is diverted by the American, Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams).  Adler spins a masterful ruse, and while Holmes is no fool to her wiles, he is also no match for her wits.  McAdams powerfully annoys, as intended, and serves as the perfect bee in the ointment – but, there is more to her character – she has more depth than I was expecting.

As with all great mysteries, I would be remiss to give anything away, so I will just conclude by saying this one may surprise you, several little red-herrings will be tossed at you – whether you take the bait is up to you.  And once the devious master’s plot is revealed, the real story begins.

On a side note, I would love to know what the Holmes character means to you, who do you think is the REAL Sherlock Holmes?  What was your favorite movie, series etc. and why do you think that?  If you’ve seen the film, do you feel these modern story-tellers did justice to the Doyle characters – or should they be run out of town on a rail?

“Is it safe?”

Swift shot: Marathon Man will have you wondering where the grit went over thirty years of film-making.  This film bleeds angst and delivers drama and real suspense.  Several times throughout the film I had to take a breather and say, Holy Shit that was awesome!  I can’t believe I never bothered to watch this one before.  John Schlesinger directed, Robert Evans produced and starred three legends of the small screen, need I say more?

I was two when this film came out, and I just never got around to seeing it, and man, was I missing out!  This film is amazing, with an all-star cast and a great screenplay that keeps you actively involved throughout.  Marathon Man’s true claim to fame would have to be the immersion factor, everything feels so damned real – and while it was released in 1976, it could easily apply today.  Concept is simple, Nazi war-criminal Szell (Sir Laurence Olivier) has to come out of hiding to retrieve ill-gotten diamonds, graduate student, Babe (Dustin Hoffman) and his brother, Doc (Roy Scheider) get caught up in the affair and the rest is just buckle up and enjoy.  What else do you need to know about the plot anyway?  It has Nazis, treasure and spies, oh my!!

The FBI likes to say crime doesn’t happen in a vacuum - people bleed, people leave trails of their lives everywhere.  Marathon Man leaves trails of blood, sweat and tears throughout this battlefield of cinematic gold.  You will feel everything the characters do, the pain is visceral and translates well for any era’s audience - incredibly well done!  I’d call this the Old Boy of its time, complete with a disturbing torture scene that original audience members fled the theater because it was too intense for its time.  I’ll grant you the scene wasn’t as graphic as Old Boy, not by any stretch of the imagination, but incredibly effective!

While there may have been some obvious spy thriller cliches tucked in a few scenes, the whole film doesn’t suffer as one big cliche and even leaves some loose ends flapping in the wind – but for some reason it won’t bother you.  Hard to explain without giving away things, but, suffice to say . . . our hero has some family issues that never get resolved to my liking.

Marathon Man never appealed to me, on the surface, because of the title.  There was another 1970s film about an actual marathon runner that I saw when I was a kid that bored me to tears.  So, please, don’t let the title of this one sway you from seeing it.  It is a suspense thriller and had NOTHING to do with running. 

When everything is finally revealed, you will have a new understanding of the levels of human indecency, greed and corruption.  Excellent cinematography throughout, layered angles, very few cheesy effects - which I hated about some 1970s films, and is why I typically avoid them like the black death.  The only thing that didn’t work right was the dubbing, the audio wasn’t synching right and it will be painfully obvious in certain scenes, which of course has that detraction of immersion effect to it.    

All in all, I am pissed at myself for not catching this one sooner.  You gotta watch this one if you want to see some of the best acting on the small screen, ever and some amazing camera play.

A delicious catastrophe!

Swift shot: Zombie flicks and me usually don’t get along well, when they are seriously driven, but Zland doesn’t take itself too seriously – it is just a sweet ass ride, one that you will want to experience again and again.  You’ll want to bring different people with you to gauge their reactions, see if they are savvy enough to catch on and find out if they could keep up with the rules of Zombieland.  And I know this film is layered, so seeing it two or three times couldn’t hurt.

Right out of the gate this friggin movie has you by the nuts!  From the very beginning, you are introduced to chaos and mayhem.  But, fret not, even the meek can survive in Zombieland, if you remember to follow the rules.  Rule #1 – Cardio!  If you are out of shape in Zland, start adding some Mrs. Dash to your ass, because you are about to be zombie chow.

Zombieland has many rules, and if you pay attention you will see them strewn about this amazing film, using that interactive caption technique (you’ve seen it on a cheesy VW commercial).  The rules will be forced down your throat over and over again, but each time is more clever and creative than the next.  If you are like me, some douche-bag will be sitting behind you reading them out loud and guffawing as the butter and snot drip out of his mouth, because he is a douche-bag – so it stands to reason that the concession people hocked a luggie in his popcorn.  And if they didn’t, they should be fired . . . immediately.

Just when you think you have this film completely figured out, director Ruben Fleischer throws in a great surprise which I am sworn to keep quiet about on pain of death.  Let’s just say, you won’t see it coming, and while there are quite a few predictable moments in Zombieland, the few times things aren’t always as they seem will challenge your experience.

Apparently Mike Cera was not in this film, and I really gotta stop getting actors mixed up, it was Jesse (Columbus) Eisenberg, who was in Adventureland earlier this year.   I think I can figure out which one he had more fun shooting – at least from what I saw onscreen anyway.  Woody (Tallahassee) Harrelson found his niche with his redneck rendition of Rambo meets Rowdy Roddy Piper.  Tallahassee relishes squashing zombies, thrives at it, and teaches Columbus some new rules . . . and when to break those rules.

Delicious, delectable, devious Emma Stone plays Wichita, who is trying to navigate with her own set of rules as she desperately tries to lead her sister, Little Rock (Abigail Breslin) out of Zombieland and to the Pacific Playland theme park – or, Disneyland to us r-tards.  I think the set they used was straight outta Adventureland or wherever they shot National Lampoon’s Vacation . . . Wally World.    In fact, it would have been somewhat apropos to use Wally World.

You will enjoy Zombieland; as my dad used to say, “it’s an E-Ticket ride!”  My review can’t do justice to the experience that is Zombieland – go see it, then run right back out, grab some non-luggie popcorn, and see it again!  And if you dare wait to “rent” this, please mail your testicles to some Swiss lab, because you got a rotten pair!!

I honestly didn’t know how Pixar could top their first 9 films (including Cars & Wall E) until seeing “Up.” As the first animated film to premier at Cannes, “Up” exceeded my expectations. Once again Pete Docter (Pixar’s “Monsters, Inc.”) and co-director and writer Bob Peterson deliver characters with depth who inspire imagination, and take us on a journey which ultimately stresses the importance of friendship and values.

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Director J.J. Abrams (Cloverfiled, Lost) has created a masterful symphony of sound of picture. Star Trek grabs you instantaneously and never let’s go.

I have to make a confession right off the bat so people know exactly where I stand in the whole Trek universe. I have never seen any of the previous films nor have I ever seen even one episode of the series. So I’m definitely not a Star Trek fan, but that really speaks to the power of this film.  However, unless you’ve been living under a rock your whole life you’ve heard the phrase, “live long and prosper.” So, it almost goes without saying that this film is absolutely accessible to the mainstream audience, but it also serves the fanbase probably in more ways than I’m aware of.

The only way to review this film is to just let you in on the highlights and not go into any summary; because if you do decide to see the film you’ll definitely want to experience everything on your own. (more…)

What if . . . the American dream came true? 

To begin with, I have never read Watchmen, barely knew it existed to be honest – I heard the writing was excellent, but that was the extent of my Watchmen knowledge.  This film was brutal and unapologetic, giving us a glimpse into a past much different than our current version of history, to start with Nixon is elected for over three terms, we won the Vietnam war and made it our 51st state – to the victors go the spoils, and let those who oppose be damned.  In an eerie montage we are shown the immediate differences in writer Alan Moore’s version of an America seemingly without boundaries, as we possess the first “Superman” – in a direct homage to Nietzsche’s raw uber-being, Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup).  

From the opening scene, the hostile nature of Watchmen is exposed with lethal effect.  Pathos and empathy are immediately injected into your soul as you watch a once proud hero broken and shattered into the void of an ever hostile and morally decaying New York city.  It is 1985,  as the ghostly visages of the World Trade Center towers constantly remind you that times are much different, the Soviets still exist and are poised to annihilate the much feared, expanding United States of America and we are on the brink of a world war for a burgeoning conflict for oil in Afghanistan.  

While I didn’t quite agree with the message of Watchmen, the film was amazing, the graphic nature of the graphic novel lends credence to that label.   Moore shines a dismal light on a violent, chaotic, and power-hungry America – set to rule the world once the Russians are finally dealt with.  The message is a little preachy and a bit anti-American at times, but the story-telling is superb.  Each character is given a decent amount of origin time, and while the film is quite long – you won’t really notice that, in fact if you were like me, you won’t want it to ever end.  

So many comic book movies have been made that try too hard to be something they are not, films, this was a comic book that just happened to be framed on a movie screen.  With fight sequences directed by 300 fight coordinator, Richard Cetrone, the stop-action violence will surely ring a bell and is rigidly efficient. Like a comic book page, violence and action are difficult to pull off without being forced, director Zack Snyder does an excellent job with balance and gritty power.  

The only less than awesome component of Watchmen was how little time was spent wrapping up the underlying conflict; a little too much was left to the imagination.  The special effects were covered in a murky cloud of grit that is hard to explain without experiencing it first-hand, like the false-future 1985 NYC streets, stained and ugly.  And the soundtrack will probably quickly be downloaded by all children of the 80s.  

There were certain elements in Watchmen you will not see in mainstream Hollywood; it has an almost indie film confidence, which is why I say the director is unapologetic –  sure to draw the most criticism is the attire of Dr. Manhattan, but when you notice it, you realize that Dr. Manhattan is beyond the need for material possessions and has become so ethereal that to add vanity to his character is simply catering to Hollywood modesty that is becoming obsolete anyway. 

Rorschach will no doubt be everyone’s favorite “hero” as he is the narrator.  Brilliantly acted by a familiar character actor from the 70s Jackie Earle Haley  - who incidentally recently co-starred with Nite-Owl (Patrick Wilson) in Little Children.  Rorschach is uncompromising and unapologetic, releasing the dark thoughts haunting writer Alan Moore.   Rorschach’s  narration is dealt with superbly, nothing is left to mere comic book convention as all things are revealed eventually.  

Some of the characters were less compelling or interesting, Silk Spectres I and II, played by Carla Gugino and Malin Akerman respectively, lacked something that approached real pathos.  There is some brilliant dialog for some characters and trite, meaningless dialog for others that tends to get a little too repetitive, you will see one scene over and over again to the point where you roll your eyes and think, ok, I get it already.  The action never suffers though, as our heroes struggle to piece together the riddle of their lives –  Who Watches the Watchmen?   

This film will be a legend in Hollywood, not only raising the bar, but reinventing the bar for comic book films to come.  This was a wonderfully told, dark drama set in an alternate reality, a political message movie, a little preachy, but entertaining enough that you won’t care – you will be laughing and cringing at all the right parts, so what if the message is touchy feely, the action and violence in this film sure weren’t.

These heroes were anything but; you won’t find yourself rooting for many of the Watchmen as the stereotypical good guys.  The Watchmen are true anti-heroes.  I have a feeling our newer heroes will start to become something darker and more pragmatic, as the Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) reminds us in the film – man is a savage creature that only plays at being civilized – to deal with man, you must be savage as well.  While the Comedian openly uses this logic without apology, the other Watchmen fall in line but don’t seem to revel in their tasks – where the Comedian relishes the primal nature of his character in every sense of the word.

If you have a choice of feeding the baby or seeing this film, I am sure you can find some spam or vienna sausages you have stored up for Armageddon – I think babies can eat that stuff nowadays.  So, get your priorities straight!  It’s a joke.

BEYAWESOME!

Disney animation has come a long way from Steamboat Willy, and it’s definately taken another bold step since Toy Story. 3-D animated features have been attempted before, but Bolt in 3-D leaves those red and blue lense days in the dust. The last animated movie I watched in 3-D was Beowulf, and it reminded me of the one thing I hate in 3-D movie…the animator’s desire – no – unquenchable NEED to remind you that the film you are watching isn’t a normal animated movie. It’s as if there’s an unwritten rule in the studio that pleads for them to take the viewer out of the story by making the characters point and jab things at the audience incessantly. Newsflash: We get it. Except for a minor and unintrusive faux pas involving a packing peanut, and one good-natured-tongue-in-cheek jab at the end, Disney gets it too.

Speaking of 3-D animation, Bolt was nothing short of fantastic. The depth of field was shown beautifully. At times, I felt that if I could just squint a little bit harder, I would be able to see deeper into the horizon than what was shown.

The voice acting was well casted. John Travolta voices Bolt who, much like Truman from the Truman Show, is unaware that the life he leads is all part of a hit television series. He lives his life to protect his person, Penny (Miley Cyrus), from the evil Dr. Calico (Malcolm McDowell) and his evil cat (Diedrich Bader) . The difference between Bolt and The Truman Show, however, is that the story happens when he escapes and has to save Penny from the clutches of his arch enemies. Susie Essman lends her voice beautifully as Mittens to help pepper a healthy dose of cynicism throughout as she tries to make Bolt realize he’s just a normal dog, and then there’s Rhino. Mark Walton voices Rhino the hamster, Bolt’s biggest and most excitable fan. Without question, he exuberantly steals each and every scene he is in.

If you only see one animated film this year, skip Madagascar 2 and see Bolt. In 3-D if you can.