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“Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.” It’s been nine years since Smash Mouth heralded the arrival of the irreverent Shrek, voiced by Mike Meyers (not to be confused with the lovable white-masked, axe-wielding fright from the Halloween series of films). What made the first Shrek great to me was that it was more adult oriented, but easily shared with the younger crowd. Unfortunately, this magic gets lost with each successive sequel, as the stories and characters get watered down slightly almost in an effort to pander to the youngins better. By the time Shrek 3 came out, I had lost interest in the characters and the world they lived in, but was happy my kids could continue to enjoy them nonetheless.

Shrek Forever After takes place about 1 year (I’m assuming) from the birth of his children. Fatherhood wasn’t agreeing with him; no one fears the Ogre any longer; his once solitary lifestyle is now flooded with friends; and to top it off he has to put up with them all at his children’s birthday party. The happiness and good feelings are nigh unbearable. He sorely misses his former life…a life without chaos–alone and happy in his swamp. Enter Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn), a crazed midget with a penchant for too good to be true contracts and a lust for the kingdom of Far, Far Away…and wigs. After some commiseration and a few eyeball martinis, Shrek decides it’s a good idea to do business with Rumpy, and signs a contract to exchange one day of his life for one where he can be a mean, feared Ogre once again. Little did he know Rumpelstiltskin was about to take the most important day of his life…

In be-careful-what-you-wish-for fashion, Shrek realizes that while he gets exactly what he wanted, life isn’t exactly normal. Shortly, he finds himself in a race against time to set things right again by recreating “true love’s kiss”-–a  far more challenging prospect with an embittered, battle hardened Fiona (Cameron Diaz).

Shrek 4 was a little darker in story than the last two and reminded me in parts of what I liked about the first one. Unfortunately, the story felt rushed, and even at 93 minutes, I didn’t think they gave the story a chance to breathe. The story itself was not very complicated, and the familiar cast of characters didn’t bring much of anything new in terms of “funny” to the table. I really liked Rumpelstiltskin, but pampered Puss in Boots was my favorite this go round. So grab your kids and go to the next 3D showing, and watch them get immersed.

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If Iron Man 2′s AC/DC injected soundtrack is any indication, one could expect their socks to be effectively rocked off on May 7th. Jon Favreau reprises his dual roles as director and affable chauffeur, Harold “Happy” Hogan, bringing with him almost the entire main cast from the first film, keeping hopes up that this sequel will stand up to the first incarnation of our favorite red and gold tin man.

I don’t think it disappoints . . .

Right off the bat, Iron Man 2 gets the story going the minute the previews are over, barely giving you a chance to settle in to enjoy the title sequence. The opening montage both introduces you to our (almost) sympathetic villain, Whiplash, a.k.a. Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) and shows what has transpired since Iron Man’s big reveal in the first film. Who said the cold war was over? Vanko, armed with a family grudge and a little elbow grease, is able to modify the plans of Tony Stark’s chest piece to suit his own diabolical needs, leading to my favorite scene in the movie – the carnage at Monaco.

The opening scene after the montage gave me 2 pauses. In this scene, the United States wanted to get Tony Stark (Robert Downey JR.) to turn over the Iron Man “weapon” to be utilized by the military. The first pause came when we’re introduced to James “Rhodey” Rhodes (Don Cheadle). The first thing I noticed was that he got a tan and lost some weight since the last movie. Somehow he shrunk a little as well. The second pause came when I recognized Garry Shandling as the lead senator. The reason it took me a second to realize it was actually Shandling was because whoever administered the botox was a little over zealous. I don’t think there was a spot that missed on his face. It was almost as if someone whacked it with a wooden plank before each scene. How he was able to move that mouth to form words was beyond me.

All kidding aside, Cheadle did very well reprising the role set forth by Terence Howard. In fact, I didn’t even notice Howard was missing. Shandling, on the other hand. Dude…get some ice on that thing.

Iron Man 2 succeeded where Spiderman 3 failed. It was able to weave multiple villains into a relatively simple story without killing it. First villain, the palladium in the chest piece, was killing Stark slowly by making his blood toxic. Second villain, Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell), a sleazy used car salesman type of guy and former competitor to Stark Enterprises, is dying to get his hands on Stark tech to win back the favor of the military. And the third villain, Vanko, who peaked early and fizzled as he played computer nerd for the last half of the movie. You could probably add Tony Stark to that list, since his daddy issues and reckless/eccentric behavior always drives his handlers crazy. All these were masterfully intertwined to make a solid, if not fantastic, story. Sony should take notes.

Now, after all that, I have to say, there are some places that left me a little flat. Rourke’s portrayal of Vanko was pretty well done. I’m no language expert, but I think his Russian accent was spot on. Unfortunately, Vanko was too calm for me. For someone with such a deep rooted hatred for all that is Stark, the final fight scene with Whiplash was very emotionless on Rourke’s part. Leading up to that, the action was done pretty well and the CGI was great, but I never really felt Iron Man was in mortal danger. Even Michael Knight had to get out of K.I.T.T. every once in awhile to keep up the drama.

And what kind of review would this be without a little nod to the red-headed bombshell that is Natalia Romanov a.k.a. Natalie Rushman a.k.a The Black Widow (Scarlett Johannson)? At first, I questioned the reason for this operative to even be in this film, but it was revealed in due time. In the meantime, guys can get some new visuals to play out their office fantasies. Johannson doesn’t really have to do much to get attention on the screen, but Black Widow’s high-octane fight scene reminded me of Hit Girl from Kick-Ass fame (go see it) – just a little older.

Her action was just as fast, just as awesome, if a little too short in duration and quantity also lacking on the musical accompaniment side. I bet Widow gets her own spin-off.

Iron Man 2 satisfied my action needs. It had humor, a little sexual tension, tons of explosions, nasty robot on robot action and an eye pleasing Black Widow performance. The only thing missing was ample unshackled boobage. Maybe Favreau will think about it in the next installment.

And if you like to wait ten minutes to see a two minute clip, you may want to stay after the credits. It was showered with thunderous applause from the audience I was with. For those with the quick eyes, I defy you to pick out Stan Lee’s cameo. It’s there, trust me. Excelsior!

Two business partners and lifelong best friends, Dan (Robin Williams) & Charlie (John Travolta), are in the middle of the biggest business deal of their lives. When Dan finds out he’s the father of seven year old fraternal twins (Ella Bleu Travolta & Conner Rayburn) – conceived during an eventful week after his divorce that included lots of booze and a one day marriage – he impulsively takes responsibility for them after finding out their mother, Vicki (Kelly Preston), has to serve a two week stint in jail.

After seeing previews of Old Dogs, I felt it had a “Wild Hogs”-like feel, which was why it didn’t surprise me to see Walt Becker’s name attached to the directing credits of this one. Hell, Travolta basically played his same regurgitated character from Hogs in Old Dogs with the only difference being Charlie didn’t have the money problems that Woody (in Hogs) did. It didn’t detract from the homogenized comedy he and Williams brought.

The children were just barely more than props. They were just a plot device to set the stage for Williams and Travolta to showcase their comedic chops. Ella Bleu Travolta couldn’t have had an easier lay-up for her first movie. Not only were both her parents there for support and advice, the role she lined up was as easy as they come…she could have played Jack Black’s character in Tropic Thunder for the amount of impact she and her male cohort had in this film. As far as movie children go, these two were the best behaved kids in the world. The Department of Child Induced Mischief was apparently closed for this shooting.

The opening sequence was done very cleverly in my opinion. I can’t think of a movie that did it similarly or with the same seamless effect of not having to use a caption or blurb to marry a seven year gap to the present. The supporting characters were great in Old Dogs, specifically Justin Long as the crazed camp counselor with a vendetta against Charlie. I think I’m starting to love Long’s bit characters more and more when I see ‘em. The camping sequence was probably my favorite, though Old Dogs has plenty of laughs throughout. And the special effects team apparently just learned how to use Photoshop, going to the well with the warp and smudge tools one too many times for my taste.

The Slanted View: I made the mistake of looking forward to Ella Bleu’s performance, not that I expected a whole lot from her, or even Old Dogs for that matter. It was disappointing to find that a story about a father and his seven year old children he just met centered more around him and his friend instead. While it didn’t stop the laughs from coming, it did bother me that the writers were afraid to explore the relationship the premise was set on. If you want to watch a kids flick, check out Planet 51. If you want to see a buddy movie, check out Hear No Evil, See No Evil. Watch this one on TBS in a year when you’re bored.

I hate Sharkboy and Lavagirl. I harbor a general dislike for the Spy Kids. If it’s family fare with Double R at the helm, I’m the dad using redirect tactics on my ADHD children at the theater…”Hey, look! There’s a bum! Let’s roll his ass!” This typically works, until the DVD’s are released, then I’m the dad praying for the DVD player to break after the 10th successive viewing in one day…which is repeated every day…for months on end. Thank God for my crappy day job (and the extra scratch I get from bum-rolling), my tie and I would reverse roles.

Shorts centers on Toby “Toe” Thompson (Jimmy Bennet), an eleven year old with the unfortunate luck in finding himself at odds with the town ruffians. Their ring leader? Helvetica Black (possibly one of my favorite names for a villainess AND she comes with her own beautifully simplistic theme song), played by Jolie Vanier. Her dad? Carbon Black (James Spader), the head of Black Box Industries and owner of Black Falls, where everyone who works for B.B.I. lives, including Toe’s family, led by Jon Cryer and Leslie Mann. Toby’s first run in with the rainbow rock is after he gets pelted in the noggin with it, though you’ll quickly see that he isn’t the first kid, nor the last person, to have a turn with the wishing rock. Of course, everyone is reckless with their wishes, but thankfully the audience is spared from the final everything-back-to-status-quo wish, though this ending isn’t that much better, or all that different. If only one of them wished for a gun, so that I could be put out of my misery…

It took awhile, or maybe I haven’t been paying close enough attention, but Rodriguez’s association with Quentin Tarantino finally has him giving that out-of-sequence-story telling technique a shot. He does it rather well, weaving several short stories together neatly, utilizing his narrator very effectively to keep it coherent for the slower children in the audience. This approach helped keep my interest up despite the overall dull storyline. The actors were neither great nor horrible, but I think the blame lies on the characters being poorly developed. Giving every character one trait that defines them (along with a name to match-most notably “Nose,” who likes to pick boogers) does not make a character necessarily good or interesting. That’s probably my biggest beef with double R’s films; they’re all style, no substance – and Shorts couldn’t even show, let alone place, in style. Judging by the successes of his other family films, he obviously is doing SOMETHING right as far as milking parents by way of their children are concerned, but I’ll be damned if I know what it is.

Exercise your parental rights and practice your anti-drug techniques by just saying “No” to your children’s heartfelt desire to tug your purse strings on this one. Make them watch Goonies instead – kid’s need direction.

Read Iratefilms.com’s interview with Writer/Director Greg Mottola here.

It’s the summer of 1987, and James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg) is looking forward to spending it touring Europe. His dreams are quickly dashed when he finds out his parents (Wendie Malick and Jack Gilpin) can no longer help him afford his trip or assist him in his future plans for grad school at Columbia. Sadly, this translates into James getting the only job he’s qualified for…at Adventureland.

I really expected more from this film. The credit for that goes to the guy editing the trailer. From the trailer, the film looks like it’s full of the funny, however, Adventureland does not deliver. All the hilarity is already represented in the two minute clip.

This is director Greg Mottola’s next effort after Superbad, except he decided to write it as well. Maybe he hoped Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg left some humor in the tank for him. Unfortunately, the tank was empty. All that was left inside was a contrived love triangle and boring characters – and he ran with it. The acting in Adventureland wasn’t bad, but the chemistry between all the actors were horrible except for Bill Hader (Manager Bobby) and Kristen Wiig (Paulette). They worked very well on screen together.

Do yourself a favor, if you’ve watched the trailer, leave it at that. Spend your money on better flicks, like Fast and Furious or Monsters vs. Aliens.

Paul Rudd (Role Models, Monsters Vs. Aliens) plays Peter Klaven, a successful real estate agent who is newly engaged to his wife to be, Zooey (Rashida Jones). It isn’t long before he realizes that there’s a slight dilemma – he has no real male friends to flesh out his half of the wedding party. To make matters worse, he doesn’t even know where to begin cultivating a male friendship. Lacking that, finding a best man in less than a year would be troublesome. This leaves him with no choice but to seek the help from his gay brother Robbie (Andy Samberg), who is more than willing to share his experiences with men and help land that whale called “Best Friend” Peter needs in his life.

I Love You, Man draws a lot of parallels to the normal dating scene, where casual drink offers have the potential to lead to something more substantial. Rudd plays the role of eager suitor to a tee. He stammers in all the right places, makes up nonsensical words in moments of excitement, and kicks himself for every misstep along the way. Finally, after many “man dates,” Peter runs into Sidney Fife (Jason Segel) and the two hit it off so well that Peter finds himself waiting by the phone for the call that never comes.

I couldn’t help but enjoy this bromantic comedy. While I wasn’t bursting at the seams with laughter, the nonstop ride to funny kept me chuckling and grimacing with Peter throughout his dates. I Love You, Man gives us an eventual intimate peak at the secret ritual known as male bonding, which is one of those things that are hard to describe. How does the transition from acquaintance to friend to best friend happen anyway? Looking at the friends I’m surrounded with, I can honestly say I don’t know.  I must have blocked out the horrible experience. 

Do yourself a favor and watch this one. If you liked Forgetting Sarah Marshall, you should enjoy this one as well.

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Jump.

Yes, you read correctly – Phoebe in Wonderland. Not to be confused with another girl named Alice. From the beginning, I was expecting it to be some twisted bastardization or re-imagining of Charles Lutwidge Dodgson’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, but was delighted it was not. Instead, we are introduced to a young girl named Phoebe Lichten (Elle Fanning – yes, Dakota’s sister) who has no compunction about questioning school rules about proper question asking etiquette every year she attends. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Soon enough you find that Phoebe is very different from most of the other children in her school – a trait her mother Hillary Lichten (Felicity Huffman) finds endearing enough to nurture and fight tooth and nail for. Phoebe’s behavioral differences, however, soon become problems for teachers and students alike and when there doesn’t seem to be any answer for it, enter the new, if not a bit eccentric, drama teacher, Ms. Dodger (Patricia Clarkson), who is recruiting for the school’s production of Alice in Wonderland. Phoebe’s behavior problems all but disappear while rehearsing for the play as the lead, Alice.

I found myself rather enjoying this film. Elle Fanning was stellar as Phoebe and made me think that there’s something in the Fanning gene pool that produces solid acting talent. Felicity Huffman made me believe that Mrs. Lichten’s love for her daughter was pure and unconditional. The way Mrs. Lichten deals with the shrink’s assessment is probably not much different from many parents today, and I felt in total agreement throughout. When you find out what’s at the root of  Phoebe’s behavioral problems, it’s easier to understand why she’s the way she is, and why she’s able to control herself in the confines of Miss Dodger’s tutelage. I want to mention Bill Pullman, who played Peter Lichten, but his role in the story was unremarkable, though his acting was solid enough as the slightly detached and busy father. Don’t be fooled, Phoebe in Wonderland was about the dynamic between the mother, teacher and child and the trio of Huffman, Clarkson, and Fanning pulled it off beautifully.

Catch this one if you can. It’s limited in its showing and only Cocowalk in Miami is hosting it down in the tip of Florida. Also, catch Rick Swift interviewing Miss Dodger herself, Patricia Clarkson!
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This ain’t NBC’s Heroes

“Movers.” “Pushers.” “Watchers.” These code names are but a few on a list of many assigned to people gifted with extraordinary powers. Powers like moving objects with their minds, or influencing people’s thoughts, these are powers I’d covet, though there are plenty more that make me second guess my wish list. Governments around the world have investigated the use of paranormal abilities against their enemies, as the Nazis did with varied results around 1945. But what if a government found a way to harness these abilities to create paranormal operatives? This is where Push takes you as a clandestine agency called The Division has done just that.

Chris Evans (Fantastic Four) is Nick Gant, a “mover,” who’s been on the run from Division almost all his life. Unfortunately for him, staying in hiding is not in his future thanks to Cassie Holmes (Dakota Fanning), a thirteen year old “watcher” who sees him helping her find a briefcase Division wants very badly. Djimon Hounsou (Blood Diamond, The Island) plays Henry Carver a Division agent, who is also a powerful “pusher,”  to spearhead the recovery of the briefcase. 

The story starts off a little cliche with the whole “clandestine agency building special soldiers” schtick, but really, how many angles can you use for a story like this? Thankfully, the cliches end there as Push takes you on an enjoyable action ride as Evans and company have to stay ahead of Division and their “watchers” – who can see into the future. Fanning brings her A-game to Push while managing not to steal the scenes she shares with Evans.  Her and Hounsou are quickly landing themselves on my list of favorite actors.

Push will definately find itself into my blu-ray collection. I’d advise running to see it before it stops showing in theatres.

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The Wrestler focuses on Randy “The Ram” Robinson (Mickey Rourke) at the end of his 20 year wrestling career. Hampered by a heart attack and told he shouldn’t wrestle unless he wants to die from his weakened heart, he retires and attempts to reconnect with his estranged daughter, Stephanie (Evan Rachel Wood) and live a normal life. Unfortunately, it’s never as easy as it seems.

From the outset, you can feel The Ram’s oppressive lonliness and isolation. The feeling is so strong and so well portrayed by Rourke that I felt the need to share his burden throughout the film. It’ll come as no surprise that living a normal life becomes difficult for him to bear. Wrestling is all that he knows–the only place where he can feel accepted. So when the opportunity comes for him to participate in a rematch to capitalize on a legendary match held 20 years ago at the height of his popularity, it’s tempting to go back.

The pacing of the story was slow, which enhanced the melancholy mood of the film. Marissa Tomei plays The Ram’s love interest, Cassidy, who happens to be an aging stripper and a single mother of one. Age seemingly hasn’t messed with Tomei’s body, which is on display throughout the film. Tomei fans, who’ve been waiting a long time, will not be disappointed; except that it took so long. Rourke’s acting was superb, as stated before, I couldn’t help but empathize with the old man, especially when he reconnects with his hostile daughter. Evan Rachel Wood Across the Universe was excellent in her short role and is an important catalyst to The Ram’s decision to return to the ring.

The Wrestler as a whole is relatively average. The story plods in places, no doubt to heighten the gravity of the film. I was actually suprised I liked it as much as I did – I’m normally not big into plodding storylines. The Wrestler is definitely not for everyone, so unless you feel like paying nine bucks to look at Tomei’s double piercing, I’d advise staying home for this one.