For a film set in a world where organs and body parts can be replaced with cheap-looking metal and plastic substitutes, Repo Men is itself devoid of a brain and a heart. This hodgepodge of a film is made up of the rotten parts of Repo! The Genetic Opera, some Guy Ritchie film, and all the bad chase scenes you never wanted to remember. Even Alice Braga and her ambrosial smirk can’t help pull this bloody thriller out of cinematic obscurity.

The screenplay was scribed by Garret Lerner and Eric Garcia, who also wrote the novel, The Repossession Mambo, which Repo Men was both based on and plugged shamelessly at the end of the film. The story is light on plot and relishes more in the intense removal of body parts throughout the film. Forest Whitaker and Jude Law star as Remy and Jake, repossession men that are sent to collect artificial organs from anyone who can’t make payments. The only way to do this, of course, is to brutally execute on the spot surgeries using tazer guns, butcher knives, chest clamps, and really whatever is handy at the moment.

The two rack up organs like it’s what they were born to do, and according to Jake, that’s just the case. Of course, things take a turn for the predictable when Remy is forced to receive his own artificial heart. The cost is too much for a working man, though, and soon he finds himself running from the very jerks he used to swap stories with by the water cooler. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, and it doesn’t even reflect the ambitious statement the film could have made about bill collectors, the health care system, or surgical-sexual fetishes.

Violence and gore in this film are both over the top and underdone. They seem to straddle the uncomfortable line between showing what these repo men might do in the actual near future, and offering an outlandish, crazy-violent romp through a dystopian future city. I would have opted for the latter and left out all the family drama that seemed to be slipped into the plot in the hopes of grounding it…somewhere.

There are very few redeemable features in Repo Men, but the scenes with Liev Schreiber, who plays Remy and Jake’s by-the-book boss, were fun to watch. It’s not thanks to a stellar performance, though, but for the mere fact that he seems about to crack up in every scene. It’s always nice to see an actor who knows the kind of role he really shouldn’t take seriously.

There isn’t much more to say about this unfortunate film, except that I did feel like taking a cue from my lady friend to take a very long bathroom break a quarter of the way through. If you feel the need to see Repo Men, just wait to get it out of a Redbox, because you’re not going to want to waste much on it. Save your money, don’t see Repo Men, and you’ll be better for it in the end.

Let’s make a short list of all the brooding, macho, occasional male sex symbols that worked for a moment. Marlon Brando; James Dean; Holden freaking Caulfield. The star of the new film Remember Me, Robert Pattinson, tries to find a place among them, but ultimately falls short. He’s more than able to make an audience of tween Twilight fans coo, though, so he’s sure to help this film make some cash at the box office.

The film itself is flat on many levels, which is a disappointment considering the high hopes I had for director Allen Coulter (The Sopranos, Hollywoodland). Instead of making an introspective film on young love and broken homes, he makes an angsty teen romp that could be confused with one of a hundred like productions.

Pattinson’s broody bookworm, Tyler Hawkins, gets his face cut up in a skirmish with a cop (Chris Cooper) early in the film. This leads his sidekick and not-so-funnyman, Aidan (Tate Ellington), to concoct a half-assed plan to set Tyler up with the cop’s daughter, fellow NYU student Ally (Emilie de Ravin). The goal is wine her, dine her, dump her and embarrass her to revenge against The Man. All goes according to plan, until the two beautiful young people fall in love. I didn’t see that one coming.

Newbie script scribbler Will Fetters doesn’t strike any new ground here. The story has been played out time and time again in different guises, and there are too many stock characters to count. The hard, uncaring father is there (Pierce Brosnan), the mother who wants to see her family be a family (Lena Olin), and the artistic little sister (the refreshingly adorable Ruby Jerins) who Tyler loves to death. You won’t find a single compelling character in the bunch.

All of this probably sounds like some harsh criticism, and to be fair Coulter worked as best as he could with what he had. There are some tender moments, and brief flares of chemistry between the lead characters, but the moments are few and far between. They’re almost teases that, I suppose, can at least carry someone through the dull parts of the film. One shout-out I’ll give is to the set designer, who created a young male’s bachelor pad that I could personally relate to.

That’s about it, though. The rest of the film fails to deliver where we can see that someone has, at least, tried to do something memorable. The cinematography and editing are confined by Hollywood standards, but there is at least one moment where some creative juices were at work. The cast, which seems to be a Frankenstein ensemble on paper, actually works well together. If it weren’t for all the bad or hilarious Brooklyn accents, you might even say there’s a sort of rhythm between them all.

With all the good and the bad, Remember Me would likely be forgotten, if it weren’t for the surprise ending. I won’t mention it here, because it really does sneak up on you. That doesn’t make it worthwhile, though. In fact, the end does nothing more than cheapen the whole film. I wouldn’t be surprised if some, if not many, people even find it offensive. Nonetheless, there were good intentions behind it, as with the rest of the film. You know what they say about good intentions, though.

If you’re a fan of Robert Pattinson, you will probably enjoy watching him again on the big screen. If your date likes Robert Pattinson, you should take her. If you don’t fit either of these criteria, save yourself 113 minutes and steer clear of Remember Me.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox is the newest film by the quirky director of hipster dramadies, Wes Anderson (The Royal Tenenbaums, Bottle Rocket). Not only is it one of his best to date, the film re-imagines what we have come to think of as a modern children’s animated movie.  Without an ounce of computer-generated imagery, Anderson is able to paint a portrait that is artistic, meticulously crafted and highly entertaining.

The story, which is co-authored by both Anderson and Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale), is a take on a popular Roald Dahl children’s book. It centers on the antics of Mr. Fox, voiced by the ever charming George Clooney, and his zany clan of family and friends. They aim to take on a trio of agriculture businessmen in a theft that rivals anything Clooney pulled off in the three “Ocean” films. Well, almost.

If any of Dahl’s stories were to be Wes Anderson’s animated opus, it would have to be Fantastic Mr. Fox. Anderson is known for his portrayal of dysfunctional and odd-ball families and can peg their interactions spot on. Such a character-driven film is perfect in his hands.

There is also something to be said about the great voice work done on the film. Clooney is joined by an all-star cast that includes Meryl Streep as Mrs. Fox as well as Anderson staples Jason Shwartzman, Bill Murray, and Owen Wilson. The dialogue suits both the actors and the characters, combining to bring the furry creatures to life.

With all of that being said, the film would never have the impact it does without the animation technique used in it. Stop motion hasn’t been seen in a while, but it always seems to work. Remember A Nightmare before Christmas or the other Roald Dahl story, James and the Giant Peach? Fantastic Mr. Fox joins these films and even surpasses them in many ways to become what I consider to be one of the better animated films of the past decade.

Every movement of the characters has been crafted delicately and purposefully. While certain CGI films found movement and realism purely by accident, Anderson makes sure nothing has happened by chance. Even the gentle movement of facial fur in the wind is created shot by shot, moving the characters slightly in each frame. This love and care has clearly paid off.

As the film progresses, we learn more and more about Mr. Fox and his family until a fairly rich tableau of characters are presented. These include Ash, Mr. Fox’s son, the badger who fixes Mr. Fox’s plumbing, and Ash’s cousin, who happens to be a martial arts expert. They all come together to pull off one incredible heist.

If you have kids, take them to see this film. Drag them if you have to, because they’ll really appreciate it. It might also make you seem less creepy than if you were to go alone. If you don’t have kids, but revel in the nostalgia of the story and the buzz that comes along with any new Wes Anderson flick, then you should go too. Seeing it on the big screen is a great experience where you can really appreciate the details, so don’t wait for this one to come out on DVD.

A war movie titled The Men Who Stare at Goats may lead some to the theaters searching for an allegory about our modern day military occupancy in the Middle East. Others are likely to just say “What the hell?” and expect 90 minutes of something at least a little strange. Neither of these groups is likely to leave the theater entirely disappointed, but there may be an air of unfulfilled dreams around them. Grant Heslov (writer, Good Night and Good Luck) seems to want to blend the two together, but falls short on delivering something lasting.

In this film we follow the exploits of Bob Wilton, played by the flat, yet ever charming, Ewan McGregor. He’s an American journalist who heads to Kuwait to prove to his ex-wife that he’s more man than she may believe, despite her utter lack of interest in it all. Along the way he meets Lyn Cassidy, a retired soldier. This is the kind of role George Clooney shines in and he took and ran with it as far as he could go. It’s an excellent performance of a soldier who’s both beautifully insane and inspiring.

Not long into the film, it’s exposed that he was once part of a military psychic operation unit known as “The New Earth Army.” It’s based on the real-life project known as “The First Earth Battalion.” Bill Django, played by the scene-stealing Jeff Bridges, runs the group of rag-tag young men and turns them all into “super” soldiers who dance around like they’re at Woodstock. He’s the hippie soldier who teaches peace, love, and the way of the Jedi. And, yes, this film is based on true events.

That being said, the director obviously has something to say about the many insane ideas and the almost adolescent desire of the United States Army to the best of the best. “The U.S. Army has no alternative but to be wonderful,” is one of Bridges many quirky one-liners in the film, and history has shown us that this idea has led to some pretty insane projects. The psychic operations programs are just one example.

While this is a fairly profound concept, the film simply doesn’t give off the vibe it’s going for. There is too much going on for the director to handle.  But, luckily it doesn’t fall apart. The film is funny and there isn’t really a scene that disappoints completely. However, the characters aren’t given the amount of flesh and history that’s going to take over the audience. There aren’t any moments of really wanting to know what’s going to happen next.

If you’re looking for a funny film that’s going to try its best to make you think a bit, The Men Who Stare at Goats is for you. With a great cast of guys that includes Kevin Spacey in a role that was far too small, there’s plenty of charismatic faces moving around on screen to keep most people happy. Could it be funnier? Yes. Could it be smarter. Absolutely. Does it deliver what you would expect? Well, there are certainly goats and they do get stared at, so when it comes down to it, it does. This is definitely worth the price of admission, but don’t expect to go back for seconds.

Whenever I receive an invitation to view a screening of a film I have never heard of I get a familiar thrill of being thrust into the unknown. I do no research and go in with no expectations. Typically, that means I at least won’t walk away disappointed. A few times, however, as is the case with my recent encounter with “An Education,” I discover a little gem of a film that I can’t get out of my head.

Lone Scherfig (“Italian for Beginners”) brings to life a story we’ve all heard before: a young girl falls for a charming older gentlemen and, in the process, goes through a coming-of-age trial. She does this in way that leaves no sentiments for the characters involved and has no problems showing all of their flaws, no matter how minuscule. Guided by a sharp screenplay scribed by Nick Hornby (“About a Boy,” “High Fidelity”), the story is as smart and charming as it is simple.

From the moment the film begins we are introduced to Carey Mulligan’s 16-year old “Jenny” character, who wears the weight of the film on her tiny shoulders and holds it like a seasoned pro. She is the perfect student with best the grades and the prettiest face. She is the perfect daughter. She is everything her parents and teachers could have asked for. For all of her perfection, though, she is still a child and shows this in the rash decisions she makes throughout the film. Sometimes you just want to scream at her naivete, but then Mulligan will just flash her girlish smile and warm your heart. This young reminiscence of Audrey Hepburn will catapult her stunning career with this film.

At home, Jenny is presided over by her parents Jack and Marjorie, played by Alfred Molina and Cara Seymour. They have decided that Jenny is bound for Oxford, where she is to read English, and they’ll do anything at their disposal to get her there. Her English teacher, Miss Stubbs (Olivia Williams) would also have her heart broken if Jenny strayed from her path. This is the perfect setup for the film. Like the whole story, it’s nothing new, but the setting of 1961 Britain and the spot on performances are spellbinding.

Just as we get to know Jenny and her world, David (Peter Sarsgaard) comes onto the screen. He is an affable and mysterious older man who takes an instant liking to Jenny. There’s instant chemistry on the screen and as youthful flirting slowly becomes something more, there’s no doubt that these two people could very well have come together naturally in the real world.

David has an air of mystery about him and at many points in the film the mood might even be described as dark or malignant. This polite man is obviously wearing some kind of mask, and it’s enjoyable to watch that mask get pulled off, again slowly, to reveal his true face.

We’re not to worry too much about Jenny, though. There are plenty of reminders about just how sharp she is, but also just how much of a child she can be. We end up wanting to see Jenny make a mistake so that she can learn from it and be the woman she should be. It might be a strange way to root for the lead in a film, but it’s the way of a concerned parent or older sibling and it’s a way that feels right.

Lessons are learned all around in the film. Jenny isn’t the only one who has to constantly re-evaluate her world (to the dismay of her teachers, in particular). Her parents, the headmistress at her school, David all face truths about themselves and others that they never did before. It should be stressed, though, that sentimentality doesn’t really come across, even if the lesson learned is a harsh one. It simply feels good to see everyone coming to a level-headed understanding. A rare feat in any film.

Having debuted in Sundance this year, “An Education” has already built a great fan base. It won the Audience Award as well as the award for Best Cinematography. When it hits theaters on Friday, it’s sure to get a sneak attack among filmgoers. With romance, intrigue, stylish socialite parties, and a crisp story,  “An Education” is sure to delight most people who see it.