Finale

Swift shot: Waste of money, time, and celluloid!  Avoid at all costs, disjointed, uninteresting, sapping story.

Count yourself among the lucky if you never see this nonsense.   There was a lot of raw talent sporadically peppered into the overall package, but the editing and plot are so uncoordinated the film is confusing at best and annoying at worst.

Why I even allowed this to enter my DVD list is beyond me, the plot description sounded decent on Netflix “Refusing to believe that her occultist son died by his own hand, Helen (Carolyn Hauck) follows a twisted trail to an old Victorian swathed in black paint, a booby-trapped bedroom and demonic encounters that ravage her sense of reality in this lushly filmed slasher. Consumed by paranoid visions, and with her daughter, Kathryn (Suthi Picotte), in mortal jeopardy, Helen descends headlong into the shrieking abyss that swallowed her son.”

See, it SOUNDS intriguing, right?  It wasn’t; sitting through the whole thing is a chore and the payoff is non-existent.  As the description states, the above does take place, the film begins with the death of Helen’s son in a confused opening sequence that makes zero sense.  The characters were poorly directed and had the feeling of being told to “wing it”.

Helen sleep-walks a lot, apparently.  She is having a hard time accepting her son’s death by his own hands.  Of course, everyone who kills themselves pines for the hanging by barbed wire method.  The reality factor was nowhere in this film.  Characters react in ridiculous terms with one another, some actually smirk and break character, yes, I am looking at you Suthi Picotte.  Granted, you have that poor man’s Kari Wuhrer thing going for you, and if there was ever a film to phone in – this is it.

The scoring and cinematography were the only bright spots in the film, but the editing was so all over the place that the cool effects only serve to annoy.  The director of photography incorporated some unique angles, which I applaud.  But, the rest of the film was terrible.  It was poorly constructed and the special effects were not scary, not even in the same neighborhood as scary.  You know the first time I saw that rapidly moving head trick in Jacob’s Ladder, it was creepy.  This film uses that trick so many times it dilutes the impact completely.

Some things I noted that make this film suck more.  The dad character, complete waste – cut him out.  The drama teacher having an affair or something, cut that crap out.  The story is chopped up like I threw it in my Magic Bullet, only the end result wasn’t a delicious sauce, it was a bloody awful mess.  If this woman were really this bat-shit crazy, she’d be committed, she wouldn’t be released – clearly a harm to herself or others.  And when she “escapes” from the hospital, her husband, the dad, delivers a line “We’re over here” indicating, hey, I know you are totally shit-the-bed insane, but the car is over here and by the way, we are out of milk and eggs – and I just love how you decorated the house with black paint while I ate my scalloped potatoes.

Seriously, what in the hell was the director and editor thinking with these ridiculous characters and complete unbelievable bullshit plot?  If you watch this one, you are either IN the film, contributed money to it, or you judged this film by its cover – like me.  Having watched the whole thing, I feel entitled to some kind of reward for staying awake from Netflix or the producers.  Send donations to swift@iratefilms.com, thanks.


Comments are closed.