Noah

April 2nd, 2014

***

It sucked!It'll be on cable.I liked it.It was good!It was awesome!! (Give us your rating!!)
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Noah

Knowing an apocalyptic event is coming, and all will be destroyed, could you still follow the word of God and do as he asks? In March 2014, we watched as Noah faced that very situation, and follow he did.

Directing this 138 minute action/adventure/drama is Darren Aronofsky.

Trying to keep their heads above water are: Russell Crowe as Noah, Jennifer Connelly as Nammeh, Logan Lerman as Ham, Douglas Booth as Shem, Leo McHugh Carroll as Japheth, Emma Wtson as Ila, Ray Winstone as Tubal-Cain and Anthony Hopkins as Methuselah.

God saw the earth was corrupt and violent, so God decided to cleanse the world with a great flood. Not wanting to wash everything away, God speaks to a man named Noah in a dream, showing him what will be and what he wants done. Noah is to build a boat, big enough to save the animals that God shall send to him. Following God’s wishes, Noah and his family start to prepare for the coming flood.

I have to say this is probably the hardest review I’ve had to write. Since I first saw the trailer I was stoked to see the movie. It was so big and powerful looking on the big screen, I was captivated by everything I saw. When the trailer was over, I no longer cared what I was originally in the theater to see, I wanted it to be Noah. Then, finally, all that time waiting… was over. I eagerly found my seat and wished for a fast forward button to magically appear to shuffle the trailers out of my way so I could finally witness the awe of Noah. Darkness engulfed me as I sat there in the theater, then… there was light. Pretty epic opening to the review huh? It only seemed fitting considering the subject matter, seeing as how Noah is a pretty epic story to be heard.

The first part of this review is for anyone that doesn’t care how accurate their biblical films are. With that being said, this film was so freaking good! The storyline starts off grabbing your attention and doesn’t let go. Before you know it, chaos fills the screen and you can’t look away. Yeah, I was entertained, not only did Crowe and Connely do amazing work here but Watson has shown she has the skills to make it past her Potter films and flourish in the industry.

The special effects were really cool and flowed smoothly, except out of nowhere amongst all this eye popping coolness you’re slapped in the face with crappy… stock footage? Really? Yeah but luckily it’s only a few spots, which made it stand out even worse. For me it was more of a “what the?” kind of spot in the film, but don’t fret because then the coolness is given back to your optical nerves. I really liked the play-through at first, because once it started it had a good pace and kept moving. Then it hits a lag that dragged it’s feet a little longer than it should and hurt the flow of the movie.

For those that are a little sensitive, there are times where you may have to look away, because it gets a little gritty. Giving the film a dark aspect, which come on, the earth is being flooded and lives are being lost. Kind of fitting for what it is. Also, Clint Mansell who did the music made something that was a perfect fit for the film.

Now as for the script, it’s a little preachy, but I’m sure you guested that it would be right? Which brings me to the part of my review for those viewers that want some biblical accuracy in their movies, or as much as can be done. I myself have enough bible study in me to be able to find a bible on the bookshelf. So, curiosity got the best of me and I sat down to read the story of Noah. When compared, well, the film did have a man named Noah that had a wife and three sons. He did build a huge boat that was filled with animals and there was a flood. Beyond that, I felt there was a lot of personal interpretation going on in the movie. Then again, when don’t you see personal interpretation in films. Isn’t that what movies are all about? While this is going on you have the push that vegetarians are good and meat eaters are bad. Mix it with the Humanism view it took, and the film might not settle well with some individuals.

So how do you grade something that as a film was really good, but as far as the subject matter goes… was questionable? Well I think Aronofsky said it best when he said “It’s a very very different movie. Anything you’re expecting, you’re wrong.” He was spot on with that comment because I expected… and I was wrong. Overall, amazing special effects and a great job by the cast. If accuracy isn’t a problem for you then it’s well worth the money, otherwise don’t worry about rushing right out to see it.

 

 

Sabotage

March 29th, 2014

**½

It sucked!It'll be on cable.I liked it.It was good!It was awesome!! (Give us your rating!!)
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“Who dropped ass?”

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****

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****

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Talion – the origin is Latin, tallio: (noun) the system or legal principle of making the punishment correspond to the crime; retaliation
T A L I O N, talion

Bad Words

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***

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Only a paid critic would say this was as good as The Muppets!

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*

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The year’s most hilarious drama.

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March 10th, 2014

Here’s your chance to work with one of the best!

Comfort

When:  Saturday, March 15th from 10:30am to 5pm

Where: Hilton Hotel, Dania Beach, Florida

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****

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***½

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