Cheri
“What happens in Paris, stays in Paris . . . as the champagne cork takes out my left eye.
Storyline: A romantic drama set in the ‘20s, Paris, where the son of a courtesan retreats into a fantasy world after being forced to end his relationship with the older woman who educated him in the ways of love.
The Cast: Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathy Bates, Rupert Friend (and he’s no friend I tell ya!) Poor, poor Michelle. She should have waited for another comeback role. This one bit the big one, chewed it up, poo’d out the goods and up grew a twig tree from the seed. The story was weak. The scenes were drab. The dialogue was forgettable. Kathy Bates was also not a good choice. Her sheer presence is just too strong. She steam rolls over everyone. She needs to be in a vampire series or something. Someone give Alan Ball a ring, Kathy needs to show up as a trampy cougar vamp on True Blood—now that’s the ticket! The cast was just poorly directed and this crew should have never been put together. Unbelievable. Very forgettable…
The Good, Bad and Indifferent: Hats off to Judy Farr and Veronique Melery for set design. You couldn’t ask for a more believable set, as if you were back in Paris in the ‘20s. It’s just too bad the story was flat. This is yet another remake that missed the boat. I never watched the original, but it’s tough to merge two books into one movie. The average book has over 200,000 words and the average screenplay has less than 18,000 words, so it’s tough to convey a strong story whilst losing that much detail. It’s a good movie to show to your Aunt Milly who probably loves an old classic that someone modernized with talent she would recognize, but besides that—pull out the barf bag and eject at will.
The Bottom Line: Save this one to torture the spies with. Give it as a gift to your boss knowing you told your co-worker to pick up a bottle of liquor who doesn’t know the boss has been in AA for 20 years. You’ll be instantly promoted, or shot, depending on where you work.
