Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2

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It sucked!It'll be on cable.I liked it.It was good!It was awesome!! (Give us your rating!!)
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Sparkly vampire fans rejoice!!

The time has come for the grand finale, the….wait for it…SWAN SONG (Swan like Bella Swan) of the vampire love story otherwise known as “The Twilight Saga”.

With “Breaking Dawn Part 2” Bella Swan (Kristin Stewart) is now Bella Cullen, mother, wife, and…vampire.  As a newborn vampire, Bella has to adjust to her new life, which makes for some humorous scenes.  She and her eternal love Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) are parents to what appears to be a human baby, Renesmee.  But Renesmee isn’t any normal human baby.  Her mother was human when she was born, but her father is a vampire.  As a result, Renesmee (Mackenzie Foy) grows at an accelerated rate and within a short time, she is about ten years old.

If you’ll recall, at the end of Part 1, Jacob (Taylor Lautner) imprinted on Edward and Bella’s daughter (imprinting is the involuntary mechanism by which shape-shifters find their soul-mates).  When Bella finds out about that, you’re in for a laugh!!  Kristen Stewart actually showed a shred of emotion!!  Anyways, you might be thinking “gross, Jacob has the hots for this child” but it’s not like that.  Remember, Renesmee is fast-growing.  At this point, Jacob is more like her protector than anything else.  As a result, he is always around.  Hanging at the Cullen’s house.  Always.  However, this time the rivalry between Edward and Jacob is non-existent.  It was kind of nice to see everyone getting along, one big happy vampire/shapeshifter family.

Of course, that was not meant to last.  One of the Cullen’s cousins, Irina (Maggie Grace) was spying on the family (I’m not really sure why, I can’t remember why that happened in the book) and she went and reported back to the Volturi (the vampire league in Italy, the really powerful and power-hungry vampires) that the Cullens created an immortal child, which is against vampire law.  So Alice (Ashley Greene) has a vision that the Volturi are coming to Forks to punish the Cullens (by the way, in this movie, to kill a vampire there is no staking.  They simply crack off the vampire’s head to kill them).  Well Edward’s “father” Carlisle (Peter Facinelli) thinks they can stand up to the Volturi if they have enough witnesses to convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not an immortal child but a human child, which leads to the Cullens travelling the world to recruit fellow vampires to help their cause.

When the Volturi, which includes the leader, Aro (Michael Sheen), his right-hand man Caius (Jamie Campbell Bower), the evil Jane (Dakota Fanning) and her brother Alec (Cameron Bright) arrive, they have an army of their own.  Although the Cullens have their vampire friends as well as the shape-shifters, the odds are not in their favor (yeah that was a “Hunger Games” shout-out).

If you’ve read the books, you don’t know what happens next!!  Yes there is a deviation from the story.  I was sitting there thinking “I don’t remember that happening in the book” a few times before the big reveal, and it is a GOOD one!!

Team Jacob fans will be happy that within the first twenty minutes of the movie, Jacob strips down to nothing (although sorry, we don’t get a peek at his cheeks) to reveal his true form to Bella’s father, Charlie Swan (Billy Burke) in an attempt to stop the new family’s original plans to move away from Forks. See, if Charlie thinks Bella is dead, they can’t stay living in the same town where he lives.  The truth isn’t really fully revealed, it’s just on a “need to know” basis.

If you don’t want to find out the plot twist, stay off the message boards on imdb.  I saw a slew of threads that revealed the twist in the subject line.  Not cool.  Also, stick around during the credits.  It’s a whose-who of the main and supporting characters from the entire series.  It was like the “In Memoriam” segment of the Oscars, but only some of the characters are dead.

Just like in the previous installment, I was surprised, because amidst all the gaggy love scenes (and there were some doozies in this one!!!  Yuck), there were some funny moments.  There were also some corny moments.  Cheesiest line said by Edward to Bella “we’re the same temperature now”.  Barf.

The acting is still sub-par, but again, I don’t think people like these movies for the terrible acting and dialogue.  Which makes me wonder, how many people will still go see this after the Kristen Stewart and her “SWATH” Cheating Scandal of 2012??  Supposedly the real-life Edward and Bella are back together, but is that just for show??  Or was the entire scandal a set-up??  I guess we’ll never know the truth about that.

Overall, it doesn’t really matter what I, or any other film critic, says about “Breaking Dawn Part 2”.  The Twilight fans (I won’t use the ridiculous term) will most likely flock to the theaters, despite any real-life drama, to see their beloved Edward, Bella, and company in their grand finale.  Even though it was no “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Parts 1 or 2”, it was still a satisfying ending to the series.


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