Suicide Girls Must Die

Swift shot: Blair Witch meets Ten Little Indians peppered with “art sleaze”.  Shot with mostly hand-held cams provided to the girls, this jiggle movie has a real gungy, chaotic delivery.  I heard about it on twitter and somehow it made it onto my Netflix rotation.  It’s amusing, but it wears out quickly.

Whenever you see a film like this, you know where to set your expectations – so, having them on the lowest settings can only mean you are going to be pleasantly surprised when things don’t suck on an epic scale.  SGMD kept me entertained and wanting to know how it was all going to play out in the end.  Ultimately, that is what will keep you watching it, that and to see who will be the next to disappear.

The plot is simple, 15 of the hand-picked Suicide Girls are heading out to shoot a calendar in the middle of nowhere, or as we call it in the civilized world, Maine.  As with their site, Suicide Girls deliver voyeurs the ability to peak into their daily lives, so each girl is given a hand-held camera and told to chronicle “everything that happens”.  That’s the problem, not much happens really.  Oh sure, they enjoy shocking people with their anti-beauty, take it or leave it sexiness – and even get one Maniac to turn them in for peeing outside a gas station, which leads to an uneventful run-in with the local state troopers.  But until the girls start to go missing sporadically, there isn’t much character exposition – all the cool little nicknames seem pointless, because only a few of the girls really stand out as memorable.

There was, Amina the self-proclaimed bitch in charge, who has to try and keep the calendar shoot going, despite the fact that her girls are dropping out and vanishing.  She is so hell-bent on completing the calendar that she doesn’t have time to show emotion or empathy of any kind.  And, because I am only a passing fan of Suicide Girls, I had no idea why she was so full of apathy.  Because it was a bit of a spoiler to me, I won’t ruin it for you, but it’s sufficient to say, she has a reason to be a bit bitchy.

Kinda like the seven dwarfs, you have all these cute girls with names that supposedly dictate their personalities, there’s Bailey Bully Daven Evan Fractal James JoLeigh Mary Quinne Rigel Roach Roza Sawa and Soren, oh my.  Incidentally, Sawa gets the directing credit.  Each girl brings a little something different to the film, but towards the end as things really start to fall apart, the film goes from slightly amusing to incredibly annoying, as the suspense is supposed to be building, Amina and JoLeigh square off about who cares more about humans vs. the calendar.  It is overdone and will have you rooting for the end to come soon, if just to shut up the “I care about the humans” – “Well, I don’t, I care about the shoot” debate.

Of course, in the end, everyone gets to the primal stage of really only looking out for numero uno.

There is nudity galore, not much gore, if any, and a relatively interesting whodunnit and who is going to be the next to disappear angle, but overall you won’t really recommend this one to your friends.  But, if you are a die-hard SG fan, I’d wager this film will be a treat for you, as it is intended to be, a slight nod to the horror genre with the girls you love to oggle and know more about.  Think of it like an hour and a half Halloween card for the SG fan-club.  So, if you are a fan, check this one out.  If you are seeking a film that will entertain on its own merit, seek elsewhere.


One Response to “Suicide Girls Must Die”

  1. Tweets that mention Suicide Girls Must Die | I Rate Films -- Topsy.com Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rick Swift, Rick Swift. Rick Swift said: Suicide Girls Must Die – squeaks into the Bin Booty section: http://iratefilms.com/suicide-girls-must-die/ -Swift http://fb.me/Jy7yGa2X […]